May 26, 2011

Being me!

Picture this!
Situation#1: Summer Camp. Dance class. Your instructor pairs you with the cutest boy in the whole class, the one you have been crushing on from like forever. You want to impress the hell out of him. In all the excitement that you can hardly contain, you do a wild jig and resultantly stamp his feet, kick on his shins and bruise his knee. Your friends tut-tut, "Clumsy oaf does it again!"
Situation#2: High School. School day celebrations. You are chosen to speak in front of a sprawling audience. In all the nervousness you walk up to the stage and break into 'Macarena' to avoid speaking.

All of the above is me. The erstwhile 'leg-bruising', 'macarena-dancer' ME! I had such a reputation of being clumsy that I had officially earned myself the tag of the 'things will go flying when she is around' girl.
And one day, decided I'd do something about it. I walked up to the mirror and said to myself, "So, I am clumsy. I break down and do abnormal things in a crowd. But, I'll be the same and still be cooler." Of course before this filmy thing I did, I ensured I shut the doors. I did not want to be called lunatic now! Today, the idea of talking to myself looking into the mirror sounds absurd, but it worked wonders for me. The point is, I decided I'd continue to be what I was and not change. I embraced my being and avoided being someone who dug their noses into self-help books to become what they were inherently not.
I adapted to my nasty traits. I started dancing a lot. I used my clumsy-swaying techniques in this art form and today, they call me Graceful instead.
I started blabbering random funny stuff till I actually gathered courage to speak sense in a crowd. Today, I am the smartass who also is insanely funny.
I found another outlet to my nervousness. I began to write. I directed myself towards academics and the knowledge that I gained gave me the additional confidence to speak. That led me on the way to become a lecturer.
I worked a couple of regular annoying habits in my favour and people now treat me as a star in a social gathering. I may have had shortcomings, but I did not change. Because if I did, the world would lose a star!

By the way, I still am clumsy. I mess up a lot in front of an audience and my students and i still blabber randomly.
I haven't stopped being me.