January 28, 2010


They intrigue me, the matters of heart. When I was a kid, I loved the whole idea of love and the hullabaloo that surrounds it. Not that I was untouched by it in any way, I felt it around me in the air. The people I knew claimed to be foolishly romantic and totally head over heels this person they were with.

Whoa! If you just put aside all the lovey-dovey feelings aside and tried to be rational about the concept of love. Love eventually leads to co-existence. Living with the other gender, habitation, copulation, etc follow. (It can comfortably established what genre of 'love' I am particularly referring to) Anyway, I used to wonder a lot when I was in my early teens as to how two sane adults come to terms with a situation like this. I mean we are talking about making a family, living with each other's flaws, compromising to no end. Mind you, I dreamed of a perfect man too. That perfect guy who would sweep me over, flatter me to no end and take me away to a far far away land where i'd live as his QUEEN for the rest of our lives.....and then I grew up!
I still had fantasies but coupled with harsh realities of life. I looked for answers, asked a lot of people (strangers mostly, who shot me a disgusting look and cast me away) Little did I know that the answer to a proposition that complicated was lurking around in my house.

Let me tell you about this couple I know at home. Extremely romantic, deeply in love, fights like raging bulls but pampers each other at the same time. Eventually they went on to start a family and voila! I happened! I look at Maa and Paa and the way they spend their day together. Even if it did not involve telling each other how much they loved them, they seemed a lot in love. I got to talking with Maa one day about the bond she and Paa shared. "Oh! It was not always like this," she had said. "Your father and I had adjustment issues initially in the marriage, we even fought a lot over trivial things. But as time passed I started to understand him, and he, me. We found happiness in each other and still do. That is the secret to our marriage. Infact sweetie, that's the secret to every successful relationship there is." I was stumped. I was getting my first relationship advice from my mother and I was barely 15.

Today, at 22, I do not recall this story that often. But it has since changed my whole perspective about love and relationships. I have learnt not to be scared of what's out there. I have grown up enough to learn and embrace what comes my way. 'Cos if I love, I will be loved back.
And I am the most loved person on the face of this planet....Period!

January 13, 2010


thats me! cute, one might call. i say chubby.
all the cute baby qualities i had, some incorporated in me by my doting mother. oh how i love her. she is such a joy. sometimes she does get a little cranky about things, but whats a good mother-daughter thingy without a little tantrum throwing! inspite of me bring the rebel, wanting to live life on my terms, she has regarded me as a model daughter throughout. she has had her doubts clarified eventually and realised the one fact that her daughter ain't gonna give up easily no matter what. i have come to appreciate hard work because of her belief in it. i feel comforted in her lap (yes, i still sleep in her lap 'the maa ki godhi'). i glow when my relatives tell me that i look so much like my mother, of course i should, i am her daughter after all. mum supports me when i need it the most, scolds me when i deserve it the most. though i never admit it in front of her, i dunno what i would have done without her in my life. i argue and fight with her quite often now that i am starting to grow 'big' (in my ma's words) but thats just how we are. she knows me and i know her. i am her punching bag when she needs to let her frustartion out and she is my teddy bear when i wanna cry. i have never told her this but i mean it deeply - I LOVE YOU MUM!