Dear Papa

Dear Papa

We have been through this conversation over a 100 times. In my head, of course. A lot of things have happened since the time we last spoke. It was a rough Sunday morning some three years ago when we saw each other last and since then, life has definitely changed. I am now married. Married to the man you approved of. We also have a daughter. You are a Nana now! As much as I would like to believe that the little baby (we call her Baby Hashtag on the internet) looks like you and me, she resembles your son-in-law more. There is a little bit of Mumma's face in her face. So you and me get a rough deal here. But we are a happy bunch now. It was a difficult year when you moved on, but recuperation is happening.

I have moved cities now. Everyone else is in Hyderabad, nandusa chachi golu and mum. Speaking of Golu, she has become the naughtiest version of herself. Nandusa has put on more weight and Soni chachi is still her happy self. They miss you guys a lot. You, Dadosa and Baiji. Dadosa's family is tighter now. Sunita Bua, Lalitsa, Devusa, Jyothidi, Cherry and their families are now bound with affection and understanding. It is something you always wanted and it is exactly that way. 

I have not lost any weight. In my defense, I did shed a few kilos before the shaadi but got it all back thanks to the baby. So, that is one thing that has not changed. Also, what has not changed is my love for you. Everyone misses you, sure. But no one misses you like I do. It is not grief that I feel, it just feels incomplete. I am however very glad that I could spend with you, all that time making fun of others the way we did. It was hilarious. That is what I will remember you by. All the happy pictures and the way we called out to people on our scooter rides. Thank you for making me iron your shirt every morning before school. That is one craft I know and love too much. Laundry. *kidding*

I do not know if I believe in a higher realm. I am a confused person like that. But you are the force I want to believe in. And so, all my prayers usually go out to you. 

We miss you dude. Love you dude. Bye dude. Until next time.

Baby Hashtag speaks | My second month

Things around me haven't changed much but I have. I am supposed to, right?

I just moved from my Nani-Maa's home to my own home in Kakinada last week. While I am adjusting to the new living conditions here, I do miss the cosiness of my maternal home in Hyderabad. But here, Papa Hashtag is around more and I love it. 

I am in the third month now and month#2 was a fun ride. I got another one of those wretched vaccinations. In the 6th week to be precise. The doctor did ask Mumma to give me fever medication much in advance so I hardly felt the temperature rise. But the pointy needle hurt so much more than I had signed up for. I am used to yawning, stretching and playing and unknowingly I did stretch the vaccination-administered leg a little too hard. Result? Unknowable pain. What did I do? I cried. It seemed like hours but I heard Mumma tell Nani that it was for a few minutes. Urgh, I don't think I am getting the hang of time anytime soon. 

Which is why nap times have become quite a hassle. While I nap happily and wake up fresh after what seems like hours, Mumma exclaims that I drifted to sleep for 10 minutes only. Honestly, I am exasperated that I cannot talk already and reason with her. So in its place, I choose to be cute and smile into space. Speaking of staring into space, all that staring has got me a new friend. That colourful pointy thing on the ceiling is bae. It goes round and round whenever I look at it and it is just the best. For reasons even I cannot fathom, that thing on the ceiling that everyone calls fan, is my favourite!

To Mumma's happy luck, I sleep better and longer at night, waking up only to feed and drifting off to sleep immediately after. Once in a week, I do stay up after this midnight nursing session and play with everyone before crying my lungs out and falling back to sleep. Hey hey hey I know what you are thinking! If I establish a routine so early in life, where is the fun. There's got to be some unpredictable moments right? 

Oh and did I tell you that I totally rejected the bottle of expressed milk when Mumma offered it to me. She wanted to check if I fed from the bottle directly so she could take a break and let someone else babysit me once in a while. Not so soon Mom, you are not leaving my sight for at least six months now. Even after that, I cannot guarantee you anything (cue evil laughter)

Mumma started wearing me in this ring sling from Soul Slings. It was kinda uncomfortable at first but I love how snug it is now. She also switched from Himalaya to MamaEarth for baby products. To be honest, I don't miss Himalaya at all. Mum did blog about her experience with the MamaEarth products. You can read it here:

http://hashtagdisha.blogspot.in/2017/01/review-mamaearth.html

Also, I now talk louder. There are variations in my tone so I can express different emotions like happiness, hunger, irritation, anger, pain and mirth. I leave the interpreting to the adults. My job right now is just to be cute. And I think I am getting mighty good at it.

That is all for the second month update. See you soon!

Lots of love,
Baby Hashtag

Review | Mamaearth

A couple of weeks before Baby Hashtag was born, my nesting instincts kicked in and I was so insistent to get everything ready for the baby, it drove my mother crazy. One fine day, out of the blue, I realised I had not stocked up on any baby products vis-a-vis cleaning, wiping and bathing needs. It was then I hopped on to amazon and ordered Johnsons baby products. It was only two days into the baby's birth that I was strictly informed by my paediatrician to avoid all Johnsons baby products for they have been known to have toxins and some carcinogenic agents. In my defense, I have grown up with Johnsons baby products and buying those seemed like the natural progression.

Anyhoo, I immediately switched over to Himalaya baby products and let's just say, the experience has been satisfactory. I limit the use of baby products anyway, using only natural oils like coconut oil and mustard oil to use on Baby Hashtag's body and scalp. 

About a month ago, I came across a new range of baby products Mamaearth and luckily enough and I was sent across a few samples of the same a few days later. 

I love the fact that the Mamaearth products are toxinfree and paraben free. They are hypoallergenic and no synthetic fragrances have been added to the products. I am not big on baby products smelling sweet, I am just concerned with how well my baby responds to it. And Baby Hashtag has been using these products for a week now and she loves them. She sleeps a little more soundly after having been massaged with the Mamaearth soothing massage oil and bathing with the Mamaearth body wash. The body lotion is very hydrating and has been working wonders in this chilly Hyderabad winters. I have used the Mamaearth shampoo quite sparingly but I do love that it leaves my baby's hair and scalp moisturised. 

Mamaearth products are certified by MadeSafe for being toxin free. Seeing that not many baby product brands are a total 100% safe, this certification relieves me. Needless to say, I am looking at using these products for a longer time now in the future. 

If you want to know more about the product range, their contents and want to buy them then you can follow this link:

http://www.momjunction.com/mama-earth/

Baby Hashtag Speaks | I HATE!

Hello World! Baby Hashtag here.

I am all of 7 weeks now and I implore you to not go by my puny self. I already have a list of things I am not particularly fond of. Can you believe it, I already have a list? Read on.

1. Bath time
I am not anti-clean. I am just anti-water. For now at least. As much as I enjoy being massaged by mommy, when she takes me to bathe and when water touches me, all hell breaks loose. Hey hey, do not peg me for a naughty baby yet, pouring water takes me by surprise and at my age, I hate being surprised. When I transition from these water-thrown-with-a-mug baths to the tiny-tub-baths, I am sure I will love them. Till then, I will go about taking the present baths with all the wailing and crying as I do already.

2. Vaccination
I just had my second set of vaccines administered recently and I can comfortably say that I hate them! Agreed it is important for me and all that. But being poked by needles? Not all that fun you see.

3. Cranky toddlers
I love playing with my 7  year old Golu Maasi. She dances for me, reads to me and keeps me entertained in general. But then there are those cranky toddlers who are downright loud, cranky and irritating. Moreover, they want to touch me and poke me and scream in my ear all the time. Like I am an exhibit. How about I scream twinkle twinkle in your ears kid, how about that! 

4. Dirty clothes
I need to changed three times a day because dirty clothes just ain't me. Even a speck of dirt and I throw a sneezing fit to let mommy know that I need a sparkling new outfit. Understand this! I am photographed pretty much all the time, thanks to the many many mobile phones in the house. And if I am being clicked constantly, I need to look photo-ready all the time. Right? Right! 

5. Soiled Diapers
Go away soiled diapers. After I am done doing my business, I wail and howl and squirm because baby needs a change of diaper. A minute's delay and I take major offence, not looking at mommy at all. Please! I am not a drama queen but PRIORITIES! 

Baby Hashtag speaks | My first month

Hello World! 

Life on Earth is fun. Not on vaccination days. But otherwise, it's a fun place and fun time to be alive. It was fun in the first week, napping for 20 hours straight, waking up only to feed and then dwindling back into that merry sleep stupor again. But sleep has gotten a tad more elusive now. My day is now a collage of random naps put together because I am hungrier than usual and sleeping sound for hours at a stretch is now a foreign concept. Nevertheless, the first month has been an adventure.

The first week went by in a haze. We were at the hospital a few days and were back home where we spent the next couple of days getting used to the new setting. Mommy is a bundle of hormones and emotions around this time and I try to make up for the overwhelming feeling she has by being all cute! Papa and the entire family are around a lot as well, trying to sneak in a picture or a video when they can. At the end of 2 weeks, I have learnt to make cute noises and gurgling sounds so now I have everyone at home wound around my finger. Each minute is an anticipatory dance of when I will chime 'ga-ga-goo-goo' next. I experienced my first growth spurt at 3 weeks and I fed round-the-clock for a couple of days. I enjoyed feeling snug and close to mommy the whole time while she got very little sleep. I take a little guilty pleasure in that but I compensated with all the adorable coo-ing and make gurgling noises. 

It has basically been a great ride and we have stepped into the second month feeling pretty proud of ourselves. By the way, I howl throughout the massage and bath sessions every morning, but secretly I love them. The post-bath naps are heavenly! Since it is winter, I am mostly dressed and covered up head-to-toe. I cannot wait for it to be sunny so I can wear them cute strappy frocks! Yay! 

Today, I am successfully past the 5 week mark and I feel nothing short of a celebration coming on. Maybe I'll treat myself to an extra hour of play time. Which only implies, one less hour of nap-time and one less hour of sleep for mommy and everyone else at home. 

See you all next month<3 font="">

Lots of love,
Baby Hashtag

Surviving the first week | Baby Hashtag is here!

A lot has changed in the last month since I wrote my last post. From a mommy-to-be, I am now a mother and the feeling is taking its own sweet time to sink in. More than anything, I am staring at the tiny tot's face longer than what is considered humanly normal and that behaviour, to me, is the epitome of completely normal. 


Speaking of parenting, I have had the craziest 20 days growing up with Baby Hashtag (to the uninitiated, that is my little one's name on the blog for all intents and purposes)
Together with the husband and my family, we are cruising along just fine barring a few hiccups I faced in the start. My first week with my new baby were the toughest and you will know why. 

But first, know this.

For new parents, a few pointers. Surviving the first week with your baby is going to be a real task. The easiest part will be nursing the baby, because babies are born stronger than we think. They are designed to be tough cos they are going to be handled by new parents, who try as they might, do not win at the parenting game. Not in the first couple of weeks at least. As time passes by and you get used to the new addition to your life, the baby is already used to you and guiding you through day-to-day with an unmatched dexterity. You think you have it under control, but in reality, it is the baby who runs the show and frankly you have to be okay with that. Whenever you can, hold your baby close. Learn how to swaddle the baby. 

New moms, pay heed. You are going to be an emotional wreck. How much ever prepared you are in advance and no matter how much pre-natal yoga you did, this is going to be your reality. The sleeplessness and the raging hormones will make you weep like a wimpy kid and weep, for no solid reason, you will. My image of being the crazy bad-ass comfortably took a tumble when I was bawling my eyes out on the second day after the baby for no reason at all. Let's just say, the waterworks will be your steady companion, especially in the first month post-baby. Teach yourself on all the feeding and nursing basics and be prepared, mentally at least. Choose the paediatrician well in advance because you will have a lot of questions about your baby that only they can answer reliably. Research about a competent Lactation Consultant in your area and stay in touch with them as well, for obvious reasons. Then there is the first round of vaccinations that will be administered to the baby in the first week of her birth. Stay strong and do not crumble into a crying heap at the sight of your baby in pain. Be practical about the coming fever post-vaccination and stay sharp. Cold sponges and cluster feeding your baby helps when they are running a high temperature. 

New dads, your turn now. Your wife is in that constant state of wanting attention. And now with the baby being the centre of everyone's universe, her feeling of being unwanted has only further deepened. Be patient to her temper tantrums and hysterical crying episodes. You made it through her 9 months of mood swings, a couple more months won't add to your woes. Be kind to her, but not sympathetic. Most importantly, help change diapers and do other baby-related chores. Ease her out of the overwhelmed self she is slowly sinking into. Keep the spirits high and treat her like the queen.

Amidst the tears, hormones, sweat, midnight feeding sessions and short naps, exhaustion, there are going to be those glorious moments when you will look at your baby and all this will seem too petty. Make that feeling your biggest incentive and dive into a new day with the baby with renewed zeal and love. I am in love each day, falling for the little Baby Hashtag over and over again. And that, keeps me going.

10 Random things-to-do!

This is for you. 
And you. 
You, as well.
10 Random things-to-do. Everyday. Or just today. Whatever!

HELL YESSS!

1. Tell someone they have a charming smile. Also, smile more often yourself. It is infectious. It is important, however, to know when to retract that smile. You do not want to be that weird guy who smiles that constant psychopath smile ALL the time.

2. Make conversation with that small vendor you see outside your apartment everyday. Ask him how his day was, politely. If he seems sour, just give him an encouraging 'koi baat nai, chalta hain' and walk away.

3. Greet the watchman and the lift-man in your office with a dazzling 'Good Morning' everyday if you can. It's a no harm done move. They like to feel important and you are giving them just that. 

4. Say 'Thank you' for the smallest courtesy offered to you. Be consistent but not overly enthusiastic about it. You want to seem courteous, not bat-shit crazy.

5. Call/text your parents and just ask them how their day was going. If you are someone who does not do this often, you might alarm them with questions of such concern. Reassure them that all is well and you are just generally trying to be nice.

6. Wave to a child/toddler on your transit. But do not be the creepy dude who gives them chocolates. Avoid them chocolates.

7. If you want to grocery shop, make a day of it. BigBasket your products only if you are swamped like crazy. There is no equivalent to physical shopping. EVER! 

8. Once a weekend, go out and play a sport for hours together. Does not matter if you play hide-and-go-seek with the apartment kids, what matters is that you revisit that playful side of you every once in a while.

9. Dance. And Sing. Even if you have two left feet and the voice that could put a frog's croak to shame, sing and dance like your life depends on it. Whether you do it in solitary confinement or full public view is a personal choice. 

10. Cook. Learn to cook different cuisines. Or pretend, maybe. And if all that fails, order food in and have a good laugh over your failed culinary attempt.

Do it and pass it forward. A chain reaction of all things happy is what we need the most today! Making someone else happy is rewarding, even just a little bit. And when it does a full circle and comes back to you, you will know you have made a lot of people smile and laugh along the way.

A little more joy did no one harm! 

Acceptance and busting Pregnancy-related Myths

I have never complied by rules on the first go. If someone asks me to do something a certain way, I first do the opposite and then if that does not bode well with me I will return to do things the way I was first asked to do. So naturally, my first instinct is usually to revolt and if that does not work, I recede.

So when I found out I was pregnant, I was bombarded with all sorts of dos and don'ts that I needed to take care of for the impending gestation period. Not just people, the books and the websites and every little material I read and saw tried to put me off certain things more than anything. And being the natural 'chill'er in life, I paid little or no attention to most advice that was doled out to me. 

It was then that my husband pointed out a general flaw in my personality that I characteristically emote disapproval through my face more often than I need to and that hit home! Even though my intention was not such, my face emoted my detachment from the advise as soon as it was given to me. I decided to be a little more accepting of things that were said to me, especially by family, because of course they mean well and 'all they want is good health for you and the baby', I told myself. 

So with time, I adopted a more tolerant attitude toward said things but I did not completely shed my disapproving behaviour. I transformed into a more logical self, analysing things I was told to do and adjusting them to suit the needs of the baby and me. It was in the course of these meticulous 5 months of analysing, over analysing, incessantly reading and personal experiences that I came to realise that some pregnancy related advice are essentially myths.  

1. The Great 'Khatta khaane ka mann' logic
No, you do not suddenly want to eat all the achaar and the khatta imli when you conceive. Some have the hankering for sweet food and some for savoury. I, for one, oscillated between the two. You feel like eating a lot of sour things to basically ease the first trimester nausea but that too, for some women, is a temp thing which last a couple of weeks.

2. Sleeping on your right is a strict NO-NO
Yes, the doctors will advise you to avoid sleeping on your back. Sleeping on your back compromises the blood flow to the uterus and the baby. Also, towards the end of the third trimester, your lungs will feel burdened if you sleep on your back and so your cuddle up on your side. But one of the scariest things I have heard is that sleeping on your right results in the birth of a still-born. I have met with a fair few doctors and practitioners in my present term and there is no medical proof backing this claim. 

3. The many many legends of guessing the baby's gender
The silver chain and ring test, the sweet-savoury craving test, the shape of the tummy test. There are all kinds of small little legends that people have to determine the gender of the baby. Personally, my husband and I never really put a lot of thought into it. When someone tries to predict the gender of the baby, I laugh it off by saying that there is at least a 50% chance they are right. Either way.

4. You have got to eat for two!
No! You have got to eat healthy, being an expecting mum. And the doctor will advise you of the same after taking into consideration your medical history. And when they tell you to eat for two, pile on the nutrition, not the portion size! 

5. Pile on the kilos
Not all mommys-to-be need to put on anywhere between 10 to 15 kilos while preparing themselves for the baby. You can put on anywhere between 5 to 18 kilos but the range is decided upon by your doctor after taking your BMI into account. Since I am an overweight woman, I have been advised to gain weight in the 5-8 kilo bracket. With the right food, exercise and activity, the less than needed gain weight does not affect the baby at all.

6. Do not drive!
Agreed that the first couple of months, you are on tenterhooks about the whole driving thing. You want to but you are too scared to and so you completely do not. But personally, driving is something which is a lot more convenient than riding a bike (which you should avoid because of increased accident risks) Take a couple of months off in the beginning if you are unsure, but you can resume driving if your back feels fine. Plus the kick from driving is more soothing than anything else.

7. The third trimester will only make you look and feel unattractive.
Maybe. But not always. Pregnancy glow is not a thing abundantly found among women. In that case, use makeup to your rescue. And yes, you will feel tired most of the time but lean on your husband to lift up your spirits when you are feeling unattractive (read troll-like)

Before you take my word for it entirely, these are the things I have generally found to be non-applicable in my case. But if you do try to google their authenticity, you will find at least one hit on the first page that will debunk my claim as well. So, like me, do venture out to make your pregnancy your own personal experience than being chained to some age-old things you are forced to comply by. And do this whilst being accepting of all opinions. 

Cheers! 
D

5 thoughts I have when the baby moves!

One of the most defining moments during your pregnancy is the time you feel the baby squirm inside of you. Given that you have been living with a black and white ultrasound image of a blob of mass, five months into the pregnancy, you finally get that one proof that there is indeed something growing inside you and believe it or not, it is FREAKY!

Let me dive head first into it. I know you are judging me a little when I do not categorise my 'the baby moved' experience as beautiful. It was downright freaky. It is only then that the time has arrived for you to come to terms with the fact that you are now a manufacturing and food processing unit for another human for the next 4-5 months of your life. Of course, over time the frantic situation dissolves into a more subtle and novel experience but there is no denying all these feels you will feel when you actually feel the baby move for the first time and all the times after that!

1. Is it gas?
Yes. That was the absolute first thought and heck, it felt like it too. The soft feathery swish termed as quickening is what most mothers feel in the early months of the second trimester. Though categorised as baby movements, quickening is more like that uneasy wave of gas you feel after a heavy mexican meal. It took me while to tell the two apart *facepalm*

2. Bring it on baby
The baby loves a challenge and so do I! This is one good thing that happened in the months that followed the movements. I have not had sleepless nights because of the kicks, in fact it helped me sleep more soundly knowing there was an over-achiever in my belly. To be an expectant mother and be so laid back about it is something I am given grief over constantly but hey, why fret when the baby is as chill as you are! 

3. That is an unreachable itch!
The squirming inside your belly however results in an unbearable itch. What is worse is that this is happening inside your body and there is nothing you can do about that except for plead to the baby to go easy on you. Mine did not listen to me and only became more active. The little devil, this one! 

4. Do I sit or do I stand or do I lay down?
So what is the protocol when you feel the first set of solid kicks. That is, after you have identified them as baby kicks/movements. Do you sit down or do you stroll around a little or do you just lie down on your side. What will aid the baby's movements more? The answer to this, however, comes to you with time as you live with your baby and learn its habits. Each baby reacts to the mother and the environment in a different way and so you have got to work with the baby to find what is best for them.

5. Come on baby, put on a show! 
I have a baby who does not comply by demands. So when you tell the baby to move, there will be dead silence, like absolutely no movement but moves about nonstop when I am in the middle of a midnight snack watching Modern Family re-runs. Fact of the matter: My baby moves only when it wants to. He is a twisted one too, moves the most when the Nani (my mum) or the father (my husband) talk. 

Four months into feeling the little one move around and doing somersault pretty much every time I eat cake, I am more used to this than anything else.

I am into this constant habit of sitting on a straight chair with the laptop propped in front me as I sit down to type posts every other day. And for the past few weeks, the baby syncs its kicks and movements to the sound of me typing on the keyboard. I even get an appreciative jab or a punch after I type a particularly long non-punctuated sentence. Of course, I will miss this synchronised dance routine we share but I am ready for little 'baby hashtag' to kick me out of my sleep every night. 

Have you felt anything like this while you were pregnant with your baby or was it different? Do share your thoughts. 

Cheers! 
D.

Plus-size shopping : My favourite brands

Wearing a comfortable Jersey Tshirt from aLL

The struggle for the perfect clothes is real. And especially if you are a full-figured on-the-heavier side woman, finding clothes that are the right size and fit for you is the most difficult. 

For years, I have been on the lookout for stores big and small that had signs on their doors that read 'UPTO 7XL SIZE AVAILABLE'. These places do not necessarily make me feel all too great about myself but hey, a girl's got to do all she can to look like a million bucks. Makeup could only take me so far. Clothes is another level altogether. I have had a lot of people telling me very politely over the years, 'Nahi yaar, XXL toh aa hi jaayega kyuki tum inti bhi moti nahi ho'. But then I passed the XXL mark in a lot of popular retail brands a few years ago according to whom size variations are just darned. It is hilarious that a size XXL is not necessarily the same fit and measurements in any two brands. 

And so began my quest for that one brand that would cater to my style preferences and not be limited in terms of variety. In my search that has spanned nearly 8 years, I have narrowed down my favourites to the following seven. 

1. aLL

2. Mustard
The first two brands are all about basic clothing and comfort. The price point on these brands are just above the normal range and the size options are wide too. Personally, my favourites from aLL are the Denims and from Mustard are the Kurtis and tank-tops.

3. Gia

4. Sassy Soda
Gia and Sassy Soda are two inhouse brands at Westside and I LOVE them! I discovered them only 3 years ago and have been obsessed with their range. They update their collection with the current trends and do not shy away from experiementing with silhouettes for plus size women.

5. Biba

6. Mebaz
Biba and Mebaz are my two go-to brands for ethnic clothing. While Biba is all about organic cottons and silks and fabrics that can be worn daily, Mebaz is all jazz and shimmer with a dazzling party-wear collection. 

7. Asos
Last but not the least, the brand that every blogger loves but me, not as much. Asos does have a decent collection for plus size women and the range is exquisite but the shipping and the aftermath are horrid especially if you are new to the world of international shipping. My advice would be to choose Asos over other brands for clothes that are kitsch and unique.

Apart from these brands, there are a lot of independent designers and fashion brands that are reinventing fashion to be more size-inclusive. Gladly, there is a lot more choice in terms of styles, designs and patterns for plus size people out there and this is only on the rise. If you are looking at a more niche shopping experience over buying generic clothes from the places I mentioned above, you can try out these websites.

1. Amydus

2. RDKL-U

3. LastInch

4. Calae

5. Oxolloxo

6. Kaaryah

7. Faballey Curve

Of the brands mentioned above, I have had personal shopping experiences with only one of them. Other brands come heavily recommended though and so I would strongly suggest you give them a spin. 

Is there any plus-size brand that you have loved and is not a part of this list then let me know. I would love to try them out!
Until next time

Cheers,
D