Surviving the first week | Baby Hashtag is here!

A lot has changed in the last month since I wrote my last post. From a mommy-to-be, I am now a mother and the feeling is taking its own sweet time to sink in. More than anything, I am staring at the tiny tot's face longer than what is considered humanly normal and that behaviour, to me, is the epitome of completely normal. 


Speaking of parenting, I have had the craziest 20 days growing up with Baby Hashtag (to the uninitiated, that is my little one's name on the blog for all intents and purposes)
Together with the husband and my family, we are cruising along just fine barring a few hiccups I faced in the start. My first week with my new baby were the toughest and you will know why. 

But first, know this.

For new parents, a few pointers. Surviving the first week with your baby is going to be a real task. The easiest part will be nursing the baby, because babies are born stronger than we think. They are designed to be tough cos they are going to be handled by new parents, who try as they might, do not win at the parenting game. Not in the first couple of weeks at least. As time passes by and you get used to the new addition to your life, the baby is already used to you and guiding you through day-to-day with an unmatched dexterity. You think you have it under control, but in reality, it is the baby who runs the show and frankly you have to be okay with that. Whenever you can, hold your baby close. Learn how to swaddle the baby. 

New moms, pay heed. You are going to be an emotional wreck. How much ever prepared you are in advance and no matter how much pre-natal yoga you did, this is going to be your reality. The sleeplessness and the raging hormones will make you weep like a wimpy kid and weep, for no solid reason, you will. My image of being the crazy bad-ass comfortably took a tumble when I was bawling my eyes out on the second day after the baby for no reason at all. Let's just say, the waterworks will be your steady companion, especially in the first month post-baby. Teach yourself on all the feeding and nursing basics and be prepared, mentally at least. Choose the paediatrician well in advance because you will have a lot of questions about your baby that only they can answer reliably. Research about a competent Lactation Consultant in your area and stay in touch with them as well, for obvious reasons. Then there is the first round of vaccinations that will be administered to the baby in the first week of her birth. Stay strong and do not crumble into a crying heap at the sight of your baby in pain. Be practical about the coming fever post-vaccination and stay sharp. Cold sponges and cluster feeding your baby helps when they are running a high temperature. 

New dads, your turn now. Your wife is in that constant state of wanting attention. And now with the baby being the centre of everyone's universe, her feeling of being unwanted has only further deepened. Be patient to her temper tantrums and hysterical crying episodes. You made it through her 9 months of mood swings, a couple more months won't add to your woes. Be kind to her, but not sympathetic. Most importantly, help change diapers and do other baby-related chores. Ease her out of the overwhelmed self she is slowly sinking into. Keep the spirits high and treat her like the queen.

Amidst the tears, hormones, sweat, midnight feeding sessions and short naps, exhaustion, there are going to be those glorious moments when you will look at your baby and all this will seem too petty. Make that feeling your biggest incentive and dive into a new day with the baby with renewed zeal and love. I am in love each day, falling for the little Baby Hashtag over and over again. And that, keeps me going.

10 Random things-to-do!

This is for you. 
And you. 
You, as well.
10 Random things-to-do. Everyday. Or just today. Whatever!

HELL YESSS!

1. Tell someone they have a charming smile. Also, smile more often yourself. It is infectious. It is important, however, to know when to retract that smile. You do not want to be that weird guy who smiles that constant psychopath smile ALL the time.

2. Make conversation with that small vendor you see outside your apartment everyday. Ask him how his day was, politely. If he seems sour, just give him an encouraging 'koi baat nai, chalta hain' and walk away.

3. Greet the watchman and the lift-man in your office with a dazzling 'Good Morning' everyday if you can. It's a no harm done move. They like to feel important and you are giving them just that. 

4. Say 'Thank you' for the smallest courtesy offered to you. Be consistent but not overly enthusiastic about it. You want to seem courteous, not bat-shit crazy.

5. Call/text your parents and just ask them how their day was going. If you are someone who does not do this often, you might alarm them with questions of such concern. Reassure them that all is well and you are just generally trying to be nice.

6. Wave to a child/toddler on your transit. But do not be the creepy dude who gives them chocolates. Avoid them chocolates.

7. If you want to grocery shop, make a day of it. BigBasket your products only if you are swamped like crazy. There is no equivalent to physical shopping. EVER! 

8. Once a weekend, go out and play a sport for hours together. Does not matter if you play hide-and-go-seek with the apartment kids, what matters is that you revisit that playful side of you every once in a while.

9. Dance. And Sing. Even if you have two left feet and the voice that could put a frog's croak to shame, sing and dance like your life depends on it. Whether you do it in solitary confinement or full public view is a personal choice. 

10. Cook. Learn to cook different cuisines. Or pretend, maybe. And if all that fails, order food in and have a good laugh over your failed culinary attempt.

Do it and pass it forward. A chain reaction of all things happy is what we need the most today! Making someone else happy is rewarding, even just a little bit. And when it does a full circle and comes back to you, you will know you have made a lot of people smile and laugh along the way.

A little more joy did no one harm! 

Acceptance and busting Pregnancy-related Myths

I have never complied by rules on the first go. If someone asks me to do something a certain way, I first do the opposite and then if that does not bode well with me I will return to do things the way I was first asked to do. So naturally, my first instinct is usually to revolt and if that does not work, I recede.

So when I found out I was pregnant, I was bombarded with all sorts of dos and don'ts that I needed to take care of for the impending gestation period. Not just people, the books and the websites and every little material I read and saw tried to put me off certain things more than anything. And being the natural 'chill'er in life, I paid little or no attention to most advice that was doled out to me. 

It was then that my husband pointed out a general flaw in my personality that I characteristically emote disapproval through my face more often than I need to and that hit home! Even though my intention was not such, my face emoted my detachment from the advise as soon as it was given to me. I decided to be a little more accepting of things that were said to me, especially by family, because of course they mean well and 'all they want is good health for you and the baby', I told myself. 

So with time, I adopted a more tolerant attitude toward said things but I did not completely shed my disapproving behaviour. I transformed into a more logical self, analysing things I was told to do and adjusting them to suit the needs of the baby and me. It was in the course of these meticulous 5 months of analysing, over analysing, incessantly reading and personal experiences that I came to realise that some pregnancy related advice are essentially myths.  

1. The Great 'Khatta khaane ka mann' logic
No, you do not suddenly want to eat all the achaar and the khatta imli when you conceive. Some have the hankering for sweet food and some for savoury. I, for one, oscillated between the two. You feel like eating a lot of sour things to basically ease the first trimester nausea but that too, for some women, is a temp thing which last a couple of weeks.

2. Sleeping on your right is a strict NO-NO
Yes, the doctors will advise you to avoid sleeping on your back. Sleeping on your back compromises the blood flow to the uterus and the baby. Also, towards the end of the third trimester, your lungs will feel burdened if you sleep on your back and so your cuddle up on your side. But one of the scariest things I have heard is that sleeping on your right results in the birth of a still-born. I have met with a fair few doctors and practitioners in my present term and there is no medical proof backing this claim. 

3. The many many legends of guessing the baby's gender
The silver chain and ring test, the sweet-savoury craving test, the shape of the tummy test. There are all kinds of small little legends that people have to determine the gender of the baby. Personally, my husband and I never really put a lot of thought into it. When someone tries to predict the gender of the baby, I laugh it off by saying that there is at least a 50% chance they are right. Either way.

4. You have got to eat for two!
No! You have got to eat healthy, being an expecting mum. And the doctor will advise you of the same after taking into consideration your medical history. And when they tell you to eat for two, pile on the nutrition, not the portion size! 

5. Pile on the kilos
Not all mommys-to-be need to put on anywhere between 10 to 15 kilos while preparing themselves for the baby. You can put on anywhere between 5 to 18 kilos but the range is decided upon by your doctor after taking your BMI into account. Since I am an overweight woman, I have been advised to gain weight in the 5-8 kilo bracket. With the right food, exercise and activity, the less than needed gain weight does not affect the baby at all.

6. Do not drive!
Agreed that the first couple of months, you are on tenterhooks about the whole driving thing. You want to but you are too scared to and so you completely do not. But personally, driving is something which is a lot more convenient than riding a bike (which you should avoid because of increased accident risks) Take a couple of months off in the beginning if you are unsure, but you can resume driving if your back feels fine. Plus the kick from driving is more soothing than anything else.

7. The third trimester will only make you look and feel unattractive.
Maybe. But not always. Pregnancy glow is not a thing abundantly found among women. In that case, use makeup to your rescue. And yes, you will feel tired most of the time but lean on your husband to lift up your spirits when you are feeling unattractive (read troll-like)

Before you take my word for it entirely, these are the things I have generally found to be non-applicable in my case. But if you do try to google their authenticity, you will find at least one hit on the first page that will debunk my claim as well. So, like me, do venture out to make your pregnancy your own personal experience than being chained to some age-old things you are forced to comply by. And do this whilst being accepting of all opinions. 

Cheers! 
D

5 thoughts I have when the baby moves!

One of the most defining moments during your pregnancy is the time you feel the baby squirm inside of you. Given that you have been living with a black and white ultrasound image of a blob of mass, five months into the pregnancy, you finally get that one proof that there is indeed something growing inside you and believe it or not, it is FREAKY!

Let me dive head first into it. I know you are judging me a little when I do not categorise my 'the baby moved' experience as beautiful. It was downright freaky. It is only then that the time has arrived for you to come to terms with the fact that you are now a manufacturing and food processing unit for another human for the next 4-5 months of your life. Of course, over time the frantic situation dissolves into a more subtle and novel experience but there is no denying all these feels you will feel when you actually feel the baby move for the first time and all the times after that!

1. Is it gas?
Yes. That was the absolute first thought and heck, it felt like it too. The soft feathery swish termed as quickening is what most mothers feel in the early months of the second trimester. Though categorised as baby movements, quickening is more like that uneasy wave of gas you feel after a heavy mexican meal. It took me while to tell the two apart *facepalm*

2. Bring it on baby
The baby loves a challenge and so do I! This is one good thing that happened in the months that followed the movements. I have not had sleepless nights because of the kicks, in fact it helped me sleep more soundly knowing there was an over-achiever in my belly. To be an expectant mother and be so laid back about it is something I am given grief over constantly but hey, why fret when the baby is as chill as you are! 

3. That is an unreachable itch!
The squirming inside your belly however results in an unbearable itch. What is worse is that this is happening inside your body and there is nothing you can do about that except for plead to the baby to go easy on you. Mine did not listen to me and only became more active. The little devil, this one! 

4. Do I sit or do I stand or do I lay down?
So what is the protocol when you feel the first set of solid kicks. That is, after you have identified them as baby kicks/movements. Do you sit down or do you stroll around a little or do you just lie down on your side. What will aid the baby's movements more? The answer to this, however, comes to you with time as you live with your baby and learn its habits. Each baby reacts to the mother and the environment in a different way and so you have got to work with the baby to find what is best for them.

5. Come on baby, put on a show! 
I have a baby who does not comply by demands. So when you tell the baby to move, there will be dead silence, like absolutely no movement but moves about nonstop when I am in the middle of a midnight snack watching Modern Family re-runs. Fact of the matter: My baby moves only when it wants to. He is a twisted one too, moves the most when the Nani (my mum) or the father (my husband) talk. 

Four months into feeling the little one move around and doing somersault pretty much every time I eat cake, I am more used to this than anything else.

I am into this constant habit of sitting on a straight chair with the laptop propped in front me as I sit down to type posts every other day. And for the past few weeks, the baby syncs its kicks and movements to the sound of me typing on the keyboard. I even get an appreciative jab or a punch after I type a particularly long non-punctuated sentence. Of course, I will miss this synchronised dance routine we share but I am ready for little 'baby hashtag' to kick me out of my sleep every night. 

Have you felt anything like this while you were pregnant with your baby or was it different? Do share your thoughts. 

Cheers! 
D.

Bring back in trend, the lost art of spelling correctly!

I missed publishing this post on Tuesday because it was my birthday and I was in an overly indulgent mood. So I quit working, planning or any activity in general and parked myself on the sofa with my phone and the television. Like I promised last week, I am continuing this week with talking about (and in this case, criticising) the hottest trend on the block. New Generation Grammar-less language.

First there was SMS. With it came a frightening trend. SMS lingo! Right became r8, hate became h8, happy brithday god bless you became 'hbd gbu'. At the time, this certain transition may have seemed the most logical thing to do as the keypads were alphanumeric and typing was, honestly, a pain in the ass. But what excuse does this generation have for typing words and making grammatical errors when there is spellcheck and a Qwerty keypad. What is worse that these very people talk in the same language they text in which is a disgrace. I have had younger people, meaning kids younger than me, come to me and blurt out incoherent sentences like 'I got swag bruh!'..... I mean, who talks like that. You text using this language and vocabulary because 1) in a textual exchange no one gets to hear you being an ass and 2) for some reason, it is cool to type like this.

I beg to differ.

Both in person and virtually, if someone uses SWAG in a sound conversation, I will legit punch them in the face. I cringe when someone types HBD to wish me on my birthday. Seriously, what good comes off those two seconds that you saved by not typing the two word HAPPY BIRTHDAY phrase. Then there are those who still have not left behind the alphanumeric keypad. Thanks to their immense and wide mental prowess, they replace the word TO with 2, the letter O with a zero and GREAT with gr8. The worst kind of people are the ones who actually say LOL instead of the conventional ha-ha. Oh wait, how do I forget the largest congregation of vocabulary defaulters! Those who have forgotten how to spell basic words like 'like' and 'this'.

Riddle me this, in this era of super intelligent computers and smart phones, how does one even fall prey to such unabashed foolishness. Why? To sound cool? Or to be a peer favourite. News flash!!! Talking or texting like this does not make anyone sound cooler. In fact, you are being judged heavily. People like me who like their sentences framed correctly with the least grammatical errors possible: we will not take you seriously. And with the internet being a wide open stage, two years down the line when you are applying for your dream job at a top firm, your poorly word-constructed tweets from the past will come biting you in the backside. So there is that.

Let me give you a simple example.
When we, grammar lovers, read a sentence that goes:

''I am lyk dis nly, luv me 0r h8 me, dis is mah lyf''

In our minds, it gets translated to:

''F*** ***!"

Don't complain later that no one tried to warn you about this.

P.S. I understand that there is a possibility that there may be grammatical errors in this post. Feel free to let me know in the comments section. I will not hate you. I swear. It will only make me like you more.

#ShaadiSeries : 11 Things I would have done differently in my wedding

Right now, I am 9 months into my wedding but most days I feel like it only happened yesterday. But then there are times it feels like it was years ago, what with all that is happening in life at such a fast pace. Looking back at my wedding, I do have regrets about how I planned things and how things finally went down around me.

I remembered vividly, a week into the wedding, that I completely forgot to make personal phone-calls to people I intended to invite. And then there were times during the week-long wedding celebrations when things were completely unplanned and a lot of the pre-wedding functions just happened to pass by with nothing more than a whisper. No hullabaloo, no pomp. So now, after months of making mental notes about it, I finally decided to share my take on a few things that I would have done differently in my wedding. If you are a bride-to-be or are helping out a bride in planning her wedding, in one or more ways, most of these things will apply to your scenario as well. So read on!

1. Wedding Lehenga woes

Like most potential brides, I wanted a wedding lehenga that was nothing less than a show-stopper. As soon as my wedding date was fixed, I jumped on to Pinterest and started pinning (like crazy) images of wedding outfits that were breathtaking! When you start discovering lehenga designs online, take into account the type of lehenga you want and the budget you want it in. You might want a raw silk designer lehenga or a lightweight georgette flowy lehenga from a local boutique, they all differ in prices and designs. I went lehenga shopping with a blank canvas in the mind and absolutely no idea about what I wanted. And therefore I ended up loving and buying a beautiful but heavily embroidered designer lehenga that was too huge for my overweight frame which stood stiff when worn. Considering my body type, I should have chosen a lightweight flowy lehenga but by the time I realised that, I had already made a pretty big investment in the earlier lehenga.

2. Better Photography options

Alas! This is one thing I will regret forever!!! Being a candid photographer myself, I know the importance of choosing the right photographer for the job otherwise key moments from your event get missed out and are never caught on frame. I made the biggest mistake of hiring an event organiser to handle the photography and cinematography departments. Not only did I never get to meet the photographer in person to discuss the photographs I wanted taken at the wedding, but also I did not get the key getting ready shots which I was absolutely looking forward to. Agreed that the photographers today charge a lot more than traditional photographers did back in the day, but do spare some time to find the right photographer that fit your budget. And always meet with them in person to understand their vision and work before you commit to them.

3. Planning and Delegation

This is the biggest problem people like me have. I take up all the work on my own and hate delegating work in the fear that others might end up ruining it. Turns out, I ruined a lot of things on my own because everything was too much for me to handle. Reach out to friends who live locally and ask them for help with wedding preparations. I was mostly on my own for most part of the 6 months wedding planning time and hence ended up taking all the responsibility till the last minute. Keep yourself totally work-free especially in the two weeks before the D-Day. I was running errands till a day before the wedding celebrations began and that messed up my already raging nerves.

4. Mehendi function

Believe it or not, I do not have one photograph of my Mehendi function where I look anywhere close to a bride-to-be. My hair is tied in a sock-bun, I am wearing my workout clothes and my face is lacklustre and gaunt. To top it all, I was an emotional wreck trying to allocate mehendi-waalis to the wedding guests and running hither tither before I finally sat myself down to get on with the mehendi myself. Though my camera made rounds, not one person managed to take a good photograph during the function and so those adorable pictures I had pinned of beautiful after-mehendi shots months ago never actually happened. I only blame myself.

5. Personal Invitations

I mentioned this earlier as well. I emailed and texted people inviting for the wedding, I communicated with them that I would email them the coordinates to the venue and surprise surprise, I never emailed most of them those coordinates. I also totally forgot to personally call a bunch of people in all the pre-wedding madness. Yes, I had a list prepared and everything but it totally slipped my mind to call back those numbers that were unavailable the first time. A total bummer on my part. The best thing for handing out those personal invites would have been to step on them 4 weeks before the D-day so that all fronts were covered!

6. LISTS LISTS LISTS!

I had lists. This is one thing I am very proud of actually. I made all the darned lists. But in effect those lists did not really get worked on completely as they were all just restricted to me, my mum and my aunt. I cannot emphasise enough on the importance of having help in organising the wedding. Share lists, prioritise work and let your ego disappear when you have to ask for help during your wedding preparation. Trust me, work distributed is sorted much faster. WhatsApp groups and email blasts are your best friends in this time.

7. Bridal Shower

Do not wait on your friends to organise a bridal shower or throw a surprise bachelorette party. Most times, if you do not let your friends and family know that you are expecting a celebration, chances are you will not get one. I made this misjudgement about an impending shower and having realised I wasn't going to get one, I put together a last minute dinner date with a few friends and that was it. If like me, you have the biggest expectations and love being pampered, make sure to let a couple of your closest friends know exactly that.

8. Family time

Do not be so caught up in the arrangements and preparation that you are unable to give your mum and dad some love and attention right before you scoot off into your new life. I regret not having a family fun night with my mum and my family before the wedding. I do make up for it every time I spend weekends with them after the wedding, but I did lose out on the key pre-wedding bonding time with the family.

9. Stick to the budget

If you are making a budget, you are making it for a reason. Stick to it and when you feel like going past that, pinch yourself hard and take a step back. I did not go crazy bonkers above the budget I set for myself but I did spend more than I needed to and unnecessary expenses will always come back to bite you.

10. Allocate realistic makeup time

By realistic, I do not mean hours together but an hour should be more than enough for you to get ready especially if you are in between functions. For me, it was the brief time between the Pooja and the Reception that I was given. I had 20 minutes to change into the lehenga, change jewellery and makeup. And so, in all the rushed madness, I forgot to adorn the two things I specially bought to complement my wedding outfit - a customised second dupatta and a nose ring which I bought after a painstaking search that spanned three months. Sucks, right!

11. Be the Queen and give your King all the attention

Not only did I lose out on the chance of playing queen for a month, but also I practically lived like a commoner trying to manage expectations during that time. I got so caught up trying to make everything perfect that I totally ignored my husband during a lot of them pre-wedding and wedding proceedings. Kudos to him for marrying me in spite of me being an insufferable control freak.

Listen up Brides! Let yourself go and be the queen for the entire time you are the designated bride-to-be because this time in your life will never come back! 

Until next time,
Cheers!
D

How to draw a simple Mandala

mandala

ˈmandələ,ˈmʌn-/

noun

a circular figure representing the universe in Hindu and Buddhist symbolism.

To a lot of doodling and drawing enthusiasts, mandalas are the circular patterns that talk symmetry, beauty and perceiving perfection in the face of some haphazard yet repetitive patterns. My fascination with mandala patterns began when I discovered them in colouring books for adults a couple of years back. The intricacy of the patterns and the way the patterns adapted to colour was what appealed to me more than anything. I then tried to get myself to draw a couple of mandalas when I could. Mind you, they look awfully simple but it is rather tricky to get the symmetry right. 

It was after many unsuccessful attempts, I found a nondescript video on YouTube that showed me this amazingly creative and easy way to draw beautiful mandalas and I would love to share it with you!

Here you go! 

You will need :

1) An OHP marker or a felt tip marker pen. To be able to draw more intricate patterns, you can choose a pen with consistent writing abilities and a fine tip. 

2) An HB pencil

3) Compass from a Geometry set

4) A4 sheet

5) Old newspapers

Tools of the trade

With the centre of the sheet as the reference point, draw circles starting with the smallest inner circle. The circles need not be of the same diametric ratio so you can really not worry about spacing and just draw the circles making sure the centre of your compass is a constant as shown in the picture below.

Drawing the circles with a constant center

Put old newspapers between the sheet you are working on and the surface so that you do not stain it as marker pens tend to bleed. Starting with the innermost circle and moving outwards, fill the circles with simple patterns. 

Start filling in the circles with simple patterns

Do not worry about handling the pen to the paper. Simple repeating patterns like lines, leaves and dots can be used to fill in the spaces. Also remember about not being perfectly in sync. The beauty of a mandala lies in the fact that the completed pattern looks like perfection even if your fillings inside miss a line or a flower.

Close-up to the not-so-perfect pattern filling

If in between, you are missing inspiration and have hit a block, no need to fret at all. Simply fill it in with a solid black colour. The solid black against the white work sheet will create a striking impact. 

Just keep on going! Fill it all in black

You can stretch the mandala as far out as you like it. 

Symmetry in the bigger picture!

And here is one of mine! 

The finished product!

I am no good with the pen and I still managed to make this mandala following some simple tricks! I bet you can too. Next time, I am making one with colours and I will remember to share it too with you guys.

Do try this out and share your completed mandalas with me :)

Until next time!
Cheers,
D

SMILE!

We prize ourselves at being lovers of candid photographs. The beauty of a candid shot is that it is raw in emotion and purely an unadulterated excerpt of a memory. The same does not go for pictures that are posed-for. Photographs of people that are staged, as part of a photo-op or a professional photo shoot or with the plain intent of capturing a certain someone on frame with their knowledge lacks all the incentives that a candid photograph carries with it. Naturally with so much thought and effort being put behind a picture that is posed-for, you would except a smile flashing back at you most times. Right?

Alas!

Most people do not smile at the camera. And I hate it! To have to initiate a fun jeer in a group or having to coax people into smiling even slightly has turned into quite a task. Unless your photo-op demands you to look deadpan at the camera, I suggest you smile when a camera is pointed at you. Because when you smile, you are telling everyone, who will subsequently look at your picture later, that it took the least effort for you to do so. By flashing your grin, you are conveying a message that you are easy and friendly and not a serial killer in disguise. 

Be like babies. Babies take a second to smile and laugh. And laugh hysterically they will, because all they own is innocence and happiness. Bring that kind of a positive energy to a photograph; For it is a keepsake and not something that will disappear with the blink of an eye. 

Make the most of what little you have left of today and when someone you know asks you for a picture, pose and smile! And while you are at it, smile often. Smile when someone gets up to offer you a seat in the bus. Smile when someone stops the lift when they see you running so that you can get on. Lift your head from your phone and smile at your mum and your dad and tell them you love them. You need not do it all the time, but do it enough. 

And to make your day a little more cheerful, time for some pictures of my favourite Suhana and her happy happy smiles! 

#ShaadiSeries : I did my own make-up!

When I first set out to look for a make-up artist who would help me deck up for the wedding, I looked EVERYWHERE! I even considered, for a fraction of a second, to hire a professional cinema level artist even if it paid a bomb. But then I wanted all that time I spent on Youtube and Pinterest to be as productive as possible so in spite of being a newbie to make-up, I decided to be my own make-up artist. To be honest, I did not ever meet a bride who told me that she managed successfully with a make-up regime of her own but I told myself I was going to crack it and so I did. The month leading up to the wedding, a number of my acquaintances and friends were tying the knot. I was figuratively mortified when I saw some of them made-up faces. Glowing 'post uptan and haldi' faces hiding beneath an inch of high-definition foundation and concealer. The natural blush was covered and a fake one was given courtesy a M.A.C blush. Those horrendous black smokey eyes on a hot pink lehenga and eyebrows that were drawn jet black. Everything about these brides sadly was unreal and dissatisfying. This became another reason why I went on to choose what I did. Also, I have a blemish free skin and fortunately for me the only base I need for my make-up is some BB cream and compact powder. I will not take all the credit because I did get a lot of help from my friends and cousins in getting dressed with them donning roles of assistants, hairdressers and make-up professionals on the D-Day but it was all worth it. 

Here are the looks from the three big wedding functions where I managed to do my own make-up (well, almost) 

My baby sister cherry came in to for a final showcase of the look after I was done and went on to put blush on my cheeks for the final effect.

My best friend Khansa came in like a genie on the Reception day and with the skill of an artist helped me out with some basic contouring for a slightly more finished look. All the days, another one of my besties Meeta, did my hair. For draping the dupatta and the saree, I had MAJOR help from my cousin Jyothi and Bua.

It all fell together beautifully and I don't think I could have managed to look as natural and glowing as this if I had opted for professional salon make-up.

But if you are planning to go the same way that I did, always keep in mind that you are not a bridezilla in the making who might just have a mega meltdown on the D-day if things do not go your way. Always be on the lookout for a eye-liner related mishap. Also, doing your own work on your wedding is not what a lot of brides consider ideal and if you are one of those, get a professional and don't pay heed to what I just said.

I intend to rant a lot more about my shaadi in this series. Stay tuned for the next one! Until then, tata!

D

#ShaadiSeries : What I wore

Being a plus size bride is a nightmare in itself. Not counting the limited number of options you have clothes-wise, there is also a flurry of opinions from shopkeepers and stylists urging you to 'settle' for the options you have. One can argue that we can get clothes designed and stitched, but I am a fan of trying on clothes and the whole charade of playing dress-up. 

Here is a breakdown of the outfits I wore for the wedding hullabaloo! 

My maasi (mother's sister) helped me find this very beautiful anarkali style floor length. It came in the red-pink colour and has a gold embroidered bodice. It also has a detailed and embellished neckline saving me the trouble of dressing it up with a necklace. I chose to wear this at a pre-wedding dinner with the family and accessorized it with these gorgeous earrings by Vastradi Jewels. This dress was picked up from a private designer boutique in Bangalore. 

Earrings by Vastradi

For another pre-wedding function, Moong Bikhrai which marks the official beginning of all wedding preparations, I chose to go funky. I opted for this straight fit long orange kurta that I bought from CottonZone in Hyderabad. Since I believe in 'Go big or go home' when it comes to accessorizing, I decided to sport this pharoah inspired neck-piece I bought from BlissBox last year. It made my simple kurta pop and had me function ready in seconds.

This 4 toned ombre saree with gota and thread work running along the border is my dream! I bought it from a store called Patrani in Bada Bazaar in Kolkata.

For my Sangeet function, I wanted a dress that was flowy and worthy of a princess. I did not want a lehenga because that would make dancing a real pain and who wants that! This floor length gold anarkali gown is all shimmer and all love. The pink in the dupatta and the dress pops like magic. I bought it from Mebaz in Hyderabad. This store is a haven for partywear gowns and anarkalis and offers the largest variety in terms of sizes and range. You can get the same dress here! 

For the wedding pooja, I wore this Baby pink crepe-silk with a fuchsia pink and gold border. I bought this from Bangalore

My Reception outfit is a raw silk lehenga in coral-orange-red colour family and it is beyond gorgeous. Bought this from Kolkata as well. But this outfit is so very special that I think I will have to do a separate post only for this!

That is it for the clothes! Sometimes I wish I had a longer wedding only so that I got to doll-up for every occasion. 

For the next of my posts in the #ShaadiSeries, do stay tuned!

Love, 

D

My Rad Red Lipstick

I have discussed this a lot of times before this on other social media platforms about why a bold red lipstick is my go-to always. A late night epiphany led me to believe that a red lipstick gives me that much needed confidence boost and I strongly concur with that thought process. 

Quoting the character Martha Rodgers from the crime drama Castle, 

"Newsflash! She already has body image issues. It's an intrinsic part of being a woman. Every woman in the world has some part of herself that she absolutely hates. Her hands are too small, her feet are too big, her hair is too straight, too curly, her ears stick out, her bum's too flat, her nose is too big and, you know, nothing you can say will change how we feel. What men don't understand is, the right clothes, the right shoes, the right makeup, it just... It, it hides the flaws we think we have. They make us look more beautiful to ourselves. That's what makes us look beautiful to others."

She could not have been more correct about pointing out the intricacies of what women want and why they want it. Yes, we want to be noticed and appreciated. But before that, we want to be able to look in the mirror and smile at the reflection that looks back at us. My Rad Red Lipstick does that for me. It hides the flaws I think I have and makes my face glow like I have a spotlight following me all the bloody time! 

The biggest flaw I have is the fact that I am fat, obese even. I have always been told reassuringly that I more than make up for this flaw with my absolutely charming personality and a decently pretty face. But growing up hits hard and looking at myself there is a part of me that constantly wished that I went to sleep and woke up the next day having miraculously shed the excess weight. Well that did not happen so I looked for ways to hide that flaw I thought I had. I dressed down for the longest time right after my teens, sporting only oversized Tshirts and Jeans. For the slightest time, that made me comfortable. But after a couple of years, the red lips rage caught on and that is when I tried my first red. I still remember the first red lipstick I ever tried on, which I ended up buying later that week. It was Revlon's "Love that Red" which I still use sometimes (I am on the 3rd lipstick now!) Some of my recent favourites are Mac's "Lady Danger" and Wild n West's Glossy Red Lipstick.

Wet n Wild Glossy Red

Revlon - Love that Red

Mac Lady Danger

My rad red lipstick was my saving grace, that led me to accept my flaws and feel fabulous. I ask of you this, find your rad quotient. If you are way too confused, trust me, the red lipstick is every woman's best friend.

Our Imperfect Perfections

I turn 27 tomorrow and I have a confession to make. I am an imperfect human. 

I am not a great looker and my sense of style is perhaps misplaced. I am not an exemplary cook nor am I a prominent name in the profession of my choice. If I were to decide the course of my life, I would fail miserably at it for I know not where my heart really lies. One day I want to be a master homemaker and the other, I want to be the most successful person there can ever be. I define the word fickle and push it a new level each day. But it is okay. It is okay that I look at the timelines of all the 1000 friends I have on facebook and think about how perfect their lives are on paper. It is completely fine, that some days I choose someone else's life as a comparison scale for what I should live like. I am only human. And I am vain as most humans can get. Sometimes less, sometimes more. We have all been there. Our virtual realities overpower the sense of our real selves, and no matter how many clickbait websites tell you that 'facebook infused depression' is a disease, trust me it is not. It is in our nature to be jealous, to be happy and sad, all at once when a friend gets engaged or promoted. We have been gifted the ability to feel, and to feel a hundred emotions at once. Then why create a pathological parallel universe and bracket yourself as abnormal, when our reactions are as habitual as breathing and sleeping.

But we are not all a whirlwind of crazy. We are loving and silent and loyal. We are practical and dreamy and loud and very accommodating. Sometimes, all at once! I know I am. A single personality trait hardly ever defines me and I have gotten it checked, it's not a psychological condition. My heart and the head are always in a tussle and there is never a clear winner. There can never be a winner for what is right for the heart need not necessarily coincide with what the head wants. And that's just about fine. Because if everything could be figured out in no time at all without us putting a decent amount of effort into it, failure and wisdom would be redundant. Wouldn't they?

We are a mixed bag of imperfections and that is what separates us from the rest, that is what motivates us to be unique. In every way, we are unique. Paradoxically, we are one. 
In our imperfect perfections, we are all one.

Cheers,
D!

My Father, my Hero!

Photographing Papa was no task because my camera loved him. His friendly face and joyful charisma made for the best pictures ever. He is my hero and my friend.

Here are some of my favourite pictures of Him:

My favourite man in the world, Papa

Mum Dad, I know love through them.

Papa

My Hero! 

Love means these two! Playful and crazy! Maa Paa <3 font="">

Papa's signature smile. He is the most charming man I know

Papa and his late mother