The demons of the post-partem times

Everyone speaks about how wonderful it is to have a baby and how amazing being a mother feels. For all those who have been following my blog will concur with the fact that all the information you have from me about having a baby and the times after that are all fun and merry work. But it is not entirely that. Post delivery challenges are real and affect mostly everyone. If you meet a mother, who admits to having sailed through without a hiccup, the time after she delivered her baby, she is either too strong willed to accept defeat or she is just too proud to accept that anything was off. 

Let me make one thing very clear. Getting pregnant and having a baby are the two most rewarding experiences of a mother's lives. When I talk about the downside of post delivery experiences, I do not in anyway undermine the joy of birth. I am merely making the reader aware of what a new mother goes through in varying proportions. 

Here are some demons that the new mother faces head-on with the arrival of the baby:

1) Post partem depression

Post partem depression or PPD is real and grips women when they are least suspecting it. The counter to PPD is given as, 'she just had a baby, how can she be sad?' Well, women who are diagnosed with PPD do not hate their babies. In fact, they succumb to PPD because of the baby in their lives. Suddenly, a life depends on them for its well being and health and that overtakes every other thing on the mother's mind. Multiply that feeling of responsibility with raging pregnancy hormones in the system and you have a mother who is too weepy, emotional, angry and frustrated all at the same time. Add to that, being sleep deprived does not help the new mothers one bit. I, for one, am the most non-weepy person there is. I did not shed one tear or feel all too overwhelmed when I heard the baby's first cry and saw her in the box but I cried my eyes out the first night I sat through nursing the baby. Hormones. Luckily, I had the support of my husband and the family to help me with the baby and I was back to my normal cynical self. 

2) Neglect

A lot of women feel neglect when the new baby arrives as the focus of everyone's attention is not her anymore. Not that women are attention seekers but having gone though rigorous labor or a c sec surgery makes mommies a tad too emotional and needy. The feeling of neglect grows manifold especially when the husband decides to pay extra attention to the baby instead of her. A little advise to the new Papas. For the first couple of weeks post-delivery, go out of your way to make your woman feel special. Just little somethings like flowers, a backrub, chocolates or a simple pat on the cheek. The feeling of being neglected with subside substantially and she will not feel sidestepped. 

3) Overwhelm

A new mother in many cases is a proud mother. Today, women are well read and well informed. A little too informed actually. But having a baby is not about how well you know your shizz, it's about hands on knowledge. 

4) Under the scanner
A new mom is always under the scanner. What she does, how she raises the baby, the decisions she takes to that end, everything is being judged right from day one. And that is not a pleasant situation. A new mother needs to be advised only when she seeks the same from you. And you are out to give her some unsolicited advise, then be gentle and humble about it. She is already a sack of emotions and raging hormones. Do not judge her and put her to distress. Be supportive. 

5) Mommy-shaming

A mother does not choose to not breastfeed her baby. But sometimes due to various reasons (which she may choose to divulge or not) the mother chooses formula for her child instead of direct breastfeeding. DO NOT SHAME HER. She is looking out for her baby and whatever made her decide to go a certain way, let's leave the mother to it, shall we! Also, it took me a little over a week to feel emotionally connected with my little one. I had no immediate 'motherly' feelings taking over my mind as soon as I saw her, it took me time to get there. And I am glad I was not judged for the same. I eventually became the textbook version of a mother: overprotective, nursing, making goo-goo eyes at the baby. And that happened only because I was allowed to live with myself and not shamed for anything. 

Next time you meet a new mother, greet her with warmth and preferably a chocolate. There is nothing in the world that chocolate cannot cure.

Until next time,
D

10 Random things-to-do!

This is for you. 
And you. 
You, as well.
10 Random things-to-do. Everyday. Or just today. Whatever!

HELL YESSS!

1. Tell someone they have a charming smile. Also, smile more often yourself. It is infectious. It is important, however, to know when to retract that smile. You do not want to be that weird guy who smiles that constant psychopath smile ALL the time.

2. Make conversation with that small vendor you see outside your apartment everyday. Ask him how his day was, politely. If he seems sour, just give him an encouraging 'koi baat nai, chalta hain' and walk away.

3. Greet the watchman and the lift-man in your office with a dazzling 'Good Morning' everyday if you can. It's a no harm done move. They like to feel important and you are giving them just that. 

4. Say 'Thank you' for the smallest courtesy offered to you. Be consistent but not overly enthusiastic about it. You want to seem courteous, not bat-shit crazy.

5. Call/text your parents and just ask them how their day was going. If you are someone who does not do this often, you might alarm them with questions of such concern. Reassure them that all is well and you are just generally trying to be nice.

6. Wave to a child/toddler on your transit. But do not be the creepy dude who gives them chocolates. Avoid them chocolates.

7. If you want to grocery shop, make a day of it. BigBasket your products only if you are swamped like crazy. There is no equivalent to physical shopping. EVER! 

8. Once a weekend, go out and play a sport for hours together. Does not matter if you play hide-and-go-seek with the apartment kids, what matters is that you revisit that playful side of you every once in a while.

9. Dance. And Sing. Even if you have two left feet and the voice that could put a frog's croak to shame, sing and dance like your life depends on it. Whether you do it in solitary confinement or full public view is a personal choice. 

10. Cook. Learn to cook different cuisines. Or pretend, maybe. And if all that fails, order food in and have a good laugh over your failed culinary attempt.

Do it and pass it forward. A chain reaction of all things happy is what we need the most today! Making someone else happy is rewarding, even just a little bit. And when it does a full circle and comes back to you, you will know you have made a lot of people smile and laugh along the way.

A little more joy did no one harm! 

Plus-size shopping : My favourite brands

Wearing a comfortable Jersey Tshirt from aLL

The struggle for the perfect clothes is real. And especially if you are a full-figured on-the-heavier side woman, finding clothes that are the right size and fit for you is the most difficult. 

For years, I have been on the lookout for stores big and small that had signs on their doors that read 'UPTO 7XL SIZE AVAILABLE'. These places do not necessarily make me feel all too great about myself but hey, a girl's got to do all she can to look like a million bucks. Makeup could only take me so far. Clothes is another level altogether. I have had a lot of people telling me very politely over the years, 'Nahi yaar, XXL toh aa hi jaayega kyuki tum inti bhi moti nahi ho'. But then I passed the XXL mark in a lot of popular retail brands a few years ago according to whom size variations are just darned. It is hilarious that a size XXL is not necessarily the same fit and measurements in any two brands. 

And so began my quest for that one brand that would cater to my style preferences and not be limited in terms of variety. In my search that has spanned nearly 8 years, I have narrowed down my favourites to the following seven. 

1. aLL

2. Mustard
The first two brands are all about basic clothing and comfort. The price point on these brands are just above the normal range and the size options are wide too. Personally, my favourites from aLL are the Denims and from Mustard are the Kurtis and tank-tops.

3. Gia

4. Sassy Soda
Gia and Sassy Soda are two inhouse brands at Westside and I LOVE them! I discovered them only 3 years ago and have been obsessed with their range. They update their collection with the current trends and do not shy away from experiementing with silhouettes for plus size women.

5. Biba

6. Mebaz
Biba and Mebaz are my two go-to brands for ethnic clothing. While Biba is all about organic cottons and silks and fabrics that can be worn daily, Mebaz is all jazz and shimmer with a dazzling party-wear collection. 

7. Asos
Last but not the least, the brand that every blogger loves but me, not as much. Asos does have a decent collection for plus size women and the range is exquisite but the shipping and the aftermath are horrid especially if you are new to the world of international shipping. My advice would be to choose Asos over other brands for clothes that are kitsch and unique.

Apart from these brands, there are a lot of independent designers and fashion brands that are reinventing fashion to be more size-inclusive. Gladly, there is a lot more choice in terms of styles, designs and patterns for plus size people out there and this is only on the rise. If you are looking at a more niche shopping experience over buying generic clothes from the places I mentioned above, you can try out these websites.

1. Amydus

2. RDKL-U

3. LastInch

4. Calae

5. Oxolloxo

6. Kaaryah

7. Faballey Curve

Of the brands mentioned above, I have had personal shopping experiences with only one of them. Other brands come heavily recommended though and so I would strongly suggest you give them a spin. 

Is there any plus-size brand that you have loved and is not a part of this list then let me know. I would love to try them out!
Until next time

Cheers,
D

What they don't tell you about being pregnant!

Pregnancy!
One of those things in life that have been extensively talked and written about. Every single person you meet in the course of your pregnancy will have at least one piece of advice for you because the world cares immensely for that unborn baby inside of you and they want you to be careful and loving and nurturing. There are, however, things that no one will teach you singularly. This kind of knowledge, these epiphanies, come to you with experience and living through these experiences personally. Now in the third trimester, I have read 'What to expect when you are expecting' cover to cover twice. Although the book is highly extensive and detailed, there are so many things it did not warn me about in advance.

This far along the pregnancy, I have come to realise these things!

1. Maternity Clothes are essentially pointless

Yes!All these big brand-houses making you want to buy maternity clothes as soon as you hit the second trimester have been fooling you all along. You and your 'baby bump self' will need new clothes but only if you intend to do a full-blown 7 schedule photo shoot of yourself with different clothes on. Bodies do not change overnight for most women. The change is more gradual and for most part of the pregnancy, your regular sweatpants and t-shirts will fit the bill just fine. If you still feel the need to own clothing options that were specially made for pregnant women, buy yourself a couple of pretty wrap dresses, kaftans and some bright flip-flops. That should cover you just fine and will also come in handy later.

2. Love-hate relationship with the maid

Most expecting moms will agree with me on this. There are days when your house-help just decides to skip work without prior notice and you are left blindsided. Now all you are doing is worrying yourself sick about the laundry that needs to be cleaned and the entertainment centre that needs to be dusted. You will call her and scream your lungs hoarse asking her to never show up on your door again but again your fatigue takes over the adrenaline rush you just had in that fit of rage and more often than not you find yourself calling the maid back the next minute politely asking her when she will show up next. After your husband, the maid will probably be the most important person who will provide you solace - especially in the first and the third trimester.

3. Worrying over the size of the baby-bump

Before you argue that most books and pregnancy related websites will tell you that all baby bump sizes differ, hear me out. No matter how prepared you are, your calm mental demeanour takes a real hit when your seventh month bump pretty much looks like a fifth month bump. And when you compose yourself, there will be a whole army of people you know who will unabashedly point it out to you that your bump does not look quite 'there yet'. You will do the unthinkable to prove them wrong. You will arch your spine leaning backwards so your bump protrudes to the front and you will constantly place your hands on the top of the belly to make the bump look more pronounced. Believe me, the pressure of looking the quintessential pregnant woman is so much more than anyone makes it to be.

4. Fat women actually have it easy

Contrary to popular belief, women on the heavier side (read fat) have swift pregnancies when compared to their skinnier contemporaries. I speak of this through personal experience. Since we have spent a large part of our teenage and youth manoeuvring our 'big' frames, the time when the pregnancy bump starts to grow it does not change our centre of gravity as drastically as it does for other women. Moving around with an additional 15-20 pounds seem like a no-brainer and major distress in the back and the legs are things of fiction.

5. The husband tiptoes around you, the world does not!

The world around you in general becomes a lot more vocal and judge-y when it comes to you. While your husband (and in a lot of cases, your families) tiptoe around you and speak to you with caution, others have a major flapback tendency of not doing so. Filters are forgotten and so are boundaries. So there will be tummy-touching, no matter how uncomfortable you tell them you are with it. You get the old 'stop being silly' jibe from them before they proceed to do exactly what you had forbade them to do a second ago. Advice will be hurled at you from all quarters so teach yourself some head-bopping and polite nodding to be used in such situations. Do not even try to avoid this phase cos the world is the self-appointed guardian of your unborn baby and at the end of the day, they do mean well.

No matter what is said and done, at the end of the day, the love of your husband and your families is what keeps you going. Through the sleepless nights and bouts of weird dreams that you have and through the many mood-swings and weepy mornings that you cannot get over, they live it all with you. So as long as you are pregnant, make them your world and prioritise your energy on keeping yourself and the baby healthy. Everything else will fall into place. And anything trivial will automatically fall behind. 

SMILE!

We prize ourselves at being lovers of candid photographs. The beauty of a candid shot is that it is raw in emotion and purely an unadulterated excerpt of a memory. The same does not go for pictures that are posed-for. Photographs of people that are staged, as part of a photo-op or a professional photo shoot or with the plain intent of capturing a certain someone on frame with their knowledge lacks all the incentives that a candid photograph carries with it. Naturally with so much thought and effort being put behind a picture that is posed-for, you would except a smile flashing back at you most times. Right?

Alas!

Most people do not smile at the camera. And I hate it! To have to initiate a fun jeer in a group or having to coax people into smiling even slightly has turned into quite a task. Unless your photo-op demands you to look deadpan at the camera, I suggest you smile when a camera is pointed at you. Because when you smile, you are telling everyone, who will subsequently look at your picture later, that it took the least effort for you to do so. By flashing your grin, you are conveying a message that you are easy and friendly and not a serial killer in disguise. 

Be like babies. Babies take a second to smile and laugh. And laugh hysterically they will, because all they own is innocence and happiness. Bring that kind of a positive energy to a photograph; For it is a keepsake and not something that will disappear with the blink of an eye. 

Make the most of what little you have left of today and when someone you know asks you for a picture, pose and smile! And while you are at it, smile often. Smile when someone gets up to offer you a seat in the bus. Smile when someone stops the lift when they see you running so that you can get on. Lift your head from your phone and smile at your mum and your dad and tell them you love them. You need not do it all the time, but do it enough. 

And to make your day a little more cheerful, time for some pictures of my favourite Suhana and her happy happy smiles! 

Quiet and Fierce - Chandana Munipalle

It was in the aftermath of a major photography drought I went through that I conjured this project in my head where I photograph the prominent bloggers in Hyderabad city. Though the number is quite small, this little but significant community of bloggers is the one to look out for. In my series of meeting and photographing these amazingly talented and beautiful women, I will be talking about them and what drives them to do what they are doing now. And the first of these women is 'The Girl at First Avenue' Chandana Munipalle

At first glance, Chandana will bowl you over, with her quiet demeanour. As you get to know her, spend more time with her what will hit you more clearly about her personality is her perseverance. Chandana decided to become a fashion blogger at a time when fashion blogging was still in its nascent stages. People hardly understood the What, When and How of the industry, let alone understand the nuances of fashion blogging. Over the years, she has made the mark for herself as a blogger who is fierce and selective about her choices and true to her passion. My obsession with using the word 'fierce' to describe her comes from her sheer grit and honesty to what she does. If there is a prospective campaign she feels creatively unchallenged by, she will not take it. Such is her passion. We spent a good few hours mulling over the sad state of fashion blogging now, especially in Hyderabad. With numbers not entirely being true determinants of influence, both Chandana and I felt that there needs to a be a major transition in the fashion blogging scene so as to engage more audience and create more creative content.

If you have never read her blog, you must read now. You will find it hard to miss her style and how she weaves a story in a post. My personal favourite is this post on Charminar 'Citystories'

If you are looking for inspiration and some brilliant creative content, follow Chandana and her blog

#ShaadiSeries : I did my own make-up!

When I first set out to look for a make-up artist who would help me deck up for the wedding, I looked EVERYWHERE! I even considered, for a fraction of a second, to hire a professional cinema level artist even if it paid a bomb. But then I wanted all that time I spent on Youtube and Pinterest to be as productive as possible so in spite of being a newbie to make-up, I decided to be my own make-up artist. To be honest, I did not ever meet a bride who told me that she managed successfully with a make-up regime of her own but I told myself I was going to crack it and so I did. The month leading up to the wedding, a number of my acquaintances and friends were tying the knot. I was figuratively mortified when I saw some of them made-up faces. Glowing 'post uptan and haldi' faces hiding beneath an inch of high-definition foundation and concealer. The natural blush was covered and a fake one was given courtesy a M.A.C blush. Those horrendous black smokey eyes on a hot pink lehenga and eyebrows that were drawn jet black. Everything about these brides sadly was unreal and dissatisfying. This became another reason why I went on to choose what I did. Also, I have a blemish free skin and fortunately for me the only base I need for my make-up is some BB cream and compact powder. I will not take all the credit because I did get a lot of help from my friends and cousins in getting dressed with them donning roles of assistants, hairdressers and make-up professionals on the D-Day but it was all worth it. 

Here are the looks from the three big wedding functions where I managed to do my own make-up (well, almost) 

My baby sister cherry came in to for a final showcase of the look after I was done and went on to put blush on my cheeks for the final effect.

My best friend Khansa came in like a genie on the Reception day and with the skill of an artist helped me out with some basic contouring for a slightly more finished look. All the days, another one of my besties Meeta, did my hair. For draping the dupatta and the saree, I had MAJOR help from my cousin Jyothi and Bua.

It all fell together beautifully and I don't think I could have managed to look as natural and glowing as this if I had opted for professional salon make-up.

But if you are planning to go the same way that I did, always keep in mind that you are not a bridezilla in the making who might just have a mega meltdown on the D-day if things do not go your way. Always be on the lookout for a eye-liner related mishap. Also, doing your own work on your wedding is not what a lot of brides consider ideal and if you are one of those, get a professional and don't pay heed to what I just said.

I intend to rant a lot more about my shaadi in this series. Stay tuned for the next one! Until then, tata!

D

#ShaadiSeries : What I wore

Being a plus size bride is a nightmare in itself. Not counting the limited number of options you have clothes-wise, there is also a flurry of opinions from shopkeepers and stylists urging you to 'settle' for the options you have. One can argue that we can get clothes designed and stitched, but I am a fan of trying on clothes and the whole charade of playing dress-up. 

Here is a breakdown of the outfits I wore for the wedding hullabaloo! 

My maasi (mother's sister) helped me find this very beautiful anarkali style floor length. It came in the red-pink colour and has a gold embroidered bodice. It also has a detailed and embellished neckline saving me the trouble of dressing it up with a necklace. I chose to wear this at a pre-wedding dinner with the family and accessorized it with these gorgeous earrings by Vastradi Jewels. This dress was picked up from a private designer boutique in Bangalore. 

Earrings by Vastradi

For another pre-wedding function, Moong Bikhrai which marks the official beginning of all wedding preparations, I chose to go funky. I opted for this straight fit long orange kurta that I bought from CottonZone in Hyderabad. Since I believe in 'Go big or go home' when it comes to accessorizing, I decided to sport this pharoah inspired neck-piece I bought from BlissBox last year. It made my simple kurta pop and had me function ready in seconds.

This 4 toned ombre saree with gota and thread work running along the border is my dream! I bought it from a store called Patrani in Bada Bazaar in Kolkata.

For my Sangeet function, I wanted a dress that was flowy and worthy of a princess. I did not want a lehenga because that would make dancing a real pain and who wants that! This floor length gold anarkali gown is all shimmer and all love. The pink in the dupatta and the dress pops like magic. I bought it from Mebaz in Hyderabad. This store is a haven for partywear gowns and anarkalis and offers the largest variety in terms of sizes and range. You can get the same dress here! 

For the wedding pooja, I wore this Baby pink crepe-silk with a fuchsia pink and gold border. I bought this from Bangalore

My Reception outfit is a raw silk lehenga in coral-orange-red colour family and it is beyond gorgeous. Bought this from Kolkata as well. But this outfit is so very special that I think I will have to do a separate post only for this!

That is it for the clothes! Sometimes I wish I had a longer wedding only so that I got to doll-up for every occasion. 

For the next of my posts in the #ShaadiSeries, do stay tuned!

Love, 

D

My Rad Red Lipstick

I have discussed this a lot of times before this on other social media platforms about why a bold red lipstick is my go-to always. A late night epiphany led me to believe that a red lipstick gives me that much needed confidence boost and I strongly concur with that thought process. 

Quoting the character Martha Rodgers from the crime drama Castle, 

"Newsflash! She already has body image issues. It's an intrinsic part of being a woman. Every woman in the world has some part of herself that she absolutely hates. Her hands are too small, her feet are too big, her hair is too straight, too curly, her ears stick out, her bum's too flat, her nose is too big and, you know, nothing you can say will change how we feel. What men don't understand is, the right clothes, the right shoes, the right makeup, it just... It, it hides the flaws we think we have. They make us look more beautiful to ourselves. That's what makes us look beautiful to others."

She could not have been more correct about pointing out the intricacies of what women want and why they want it. Yes, we want to be noticed and appreciated. But before that, we want to be able to look in the mirror and smile at the reflection that looks back at us. My Rad Red Lipstick does that for me. It hides the flaws I think I have and makes my face glow like I have a spotlight following me all the bloody time! 

The biggest flaw I have is the fact that I am fat, obese even. I have always been told reassuringly that I more than make up for this flaw with my absolutely charming personality and a decently pretty face. But growing up hits hard and looking at myself there is a part of me that constantly wished that I went to sleep and woke up the next day having miraculously shed the excess weight. Well that did not happen so I looked for ways to hide that flaw I thought I had. I dressed down for the longest time right after my teens, sporting only oversized Tshirts and Jeans. For the slightest time, that made me comfortable. But after a couple of years, the red lips rage caught on and that is when I tried my first red. I still remember the first red lipstick I ever tried on, which I ended up buying later that week. It was Revlon's "Love that Red" which I still use sometimes (I am on the 3rd lipstick now!) Some of my recent favourites are Mac's "Lady Danger" and Wild n West's Glossy Red Lipstick.

Wet n Wild Glossy Red

Revlon - Love that Red

Mac Lady Danger

My rad red lipstick was my saving grace, that led me to accept my flaws and feel fabulous. I ask of you this, find your rad quotient. If you are way too confused, trust me, the red lipstick is every woman's best friend.

Your DNA speaks Skin and here is how!

by Disha Bhandari 

"You can get your skin treated and pampered with therapies and treatments that are personally designed keeping your DNA and genetic makeup in mind".

Sounds like something a female researcher would say to the popular cheerleader in a B-rated Sci-Fi movie. Now that is one movie I am never going to watch. But for what you just read in the beginning of the post, it is in fact not as unreal as Kylie Jenner's lips.

I was at the VLCC centre at Banjara Hills, Hyderabad last week for a bloggers' meet. Time for a little background story here:

So VLCC or Vandana Luthra Curls and Curves is a wellness company widely recognised both nationally and internationally. They are well known for their effective weight loss management programs and therapeutic approach to beauty treatments. Our meet was scheduled at the centre one afternoon and we got to discuss their newest breakthrough in the field of wellness and beauty heralded by the sweet Dr.Yasmin. Oh hey, there's us! 

@ the VLCC Bloggers' Meet

Coming back to this amazing new skin treatment we talked about, it is this! 

The basis of this revolutionary program launched by VLCC is the uniqueness of everyone's DNA. In the simplest terms, it is common knowledge that every human being has a DNA makeup that is unique to him. Like fingerprints, no two DNA sets are the same. The DNA carries information about your body in the minutest detail. It is this nature of the DNA that forms the basis of VLCC's DNA based Skin Care and Anti Aging program. 

And this is how it is done:

A simple yet comprehensive DNA test is done at the centre. The report takes about a week to get ready. This report has information in detail from your DNA which is tested for Collagen Degeneration, Sun Damage and Pigmentation, Skin Sensitivity and Inflammation, Production of Anti-oxidants, Skin Hydration status and Glycation (Damage from Sugar). The team of experts at VLCC then suggest a very personalised treatment for you based on the report. While 30% of skin damage is due to your surroundings and environment, 70% of a person's skin problems can be attributed to DNA mutations or anomalies. These can be corrected in a very scientific way through this approach. The experts suggest a treatment which is a combination of face packs, salon treatments, procedures and efficient dietary and lifestyle consultation. There is also a comprehensive consultation offered after the completion of the treatment that will guide you to retaining the results. VLCC also houses a whole range of beauty products that can help you for result retention in the future. One such product I loved is the Dermaheal Eye Filler Mask. You have got to try one! 

I also volunteered to give a sample of my DNA from my buccal cavity for testing. The team would get in touch with me in a week with the results. I am excited for the consultation! I will let you know how that goes when it does in another post.

The good peeps at the centre gave us a tour of the centre. Before that day, I predominantly recognised VLCC as a weight loss and wellness centre but I stood corrected when I took the tour. There are a host of other services offered at the VLCC centre which imbibes their mantra of holistic wellness such as a Wellness Exercise centre, Ayurveda, Yoga and Physiotherapy run with the guidance of Shilpa Shetty and a Beauty Salon.

The Yoga and Physiotherapy room

State of the art Beauty Salon

You may have heard about the DNA SLIM programs by VLCC which works on the same principle as above. Rush to your nearest VLCC centre for a DNA consultation for treatment for the skin or slimming. This is by far the most scientific approach to skincare and slimming that I have ever come across. 

If you have any questions, post them in the comments, or tweet them to me.

@TheChinki

And if you are not following me on Instagram yet, here I am : @TheChinki_

Also, I regret not having taken my camera along! Next time, you will not be disappointed!

Until next time,

Cheers!

D

Confident and Fat

"Life would have been so much easier if not for the fat."

On an average, a relatively overweight person will think on the above lines more often than not. Say, 12 times a day. Obviously, I am making this statistic up because, let's face it, no one really gives a twit about what fat people think. The obvious corollary to fat is happy-go-lucky, so the 'not-so-fat' normal section of the society operate under the belief that fat people like to be well, fat.

Let me clear this once and for all. We are not Fat People, we are just People. Yes, there are times we have serious body image issues. There's also an added obsession to excel in other areas of performance because "beauty-wise toh beta aap bahut cute hain, sundar nahi!" Our life is one big calorie counting extravaganza and we live off water and air most times. How the day shall be lived will be decided by the ever angry weighing scale and one tip of the weight needle to the right is enough to get us prepared for a water diet. Speaking of diets, we know all about them! The General motors diet, The Banana diet, The Cabbage soup diet, The Grapefruit diet, The Juice fasting, The 3 hour diet, The Skinny bitch diet, The French Women don't get fat diet (You saw this right!).... Been there, done that!

Why this rant now, you must think? I have been fat my whole life. Wait. Not fat, Obese. I pretty much loved the entire 'cute' phase that happened before I hit puberty. After that it was all downhill. The attention was all way too negative and the I went spiraling down into a binge eating spree to help me cope with all this. By the time I was 18, I was the size of a baby whale with serious self-confidence issues. I clung on to anyone that spared time to talk to me, let alone be friends. My intermediate college years were the most difficult. I was not myself, I struggled immensely with my body image and my communication skills were a disgrace. If not for being good at academics, I would have been a nobody later in life. Good grades were my saving grace. It was after being admitted in one of the top colleges in the city that I pulled myself together and decided to turn my life around. One thing at a time.

My first goal was to learn to communicate. Before college happened, I basically had no working knowledge of grammar and vocabulary. Piecing two words together to make a sentence was a task. On my first day of college, at orientation, I remember trying to make sense of everything that was being said about classrooms, lecture halls, courses and stadiums. There was a moment of underlying exhaustion, coupled with panic and distress. I came home and lay awake all night trying to figure out how to get through classes. There were plans, and backup plans, and backup plans to those backup plans. Next day, miraculously, I found my way through the crowd. Because we were a small group in the History Graduate class, I felt noticed. The confidence was there, lurking at the back of my mind. I just had to reach for it. As days passed by, academics helped me get through tough classes and theories. I spent hours at home with library books and a dictionary wading my way through slowly. Steadily. In a couple of weeks, I felt confident walking the corridors. I was recognised, liked even. It was a major confidence boost. I also ran for Class representative elections and was elected. Mighty nerdy, but cool. I got over my fear of rejection in the coming years. I also learnt a lot about communication, language and life in general from Harry Potter (more on that, soon)

I believe acceptance is key. Acceptance and the will to change for better. I have not drastically slimmed down to gain a little perspective, I just accepted my flaws and learnt to excel past those. All this is easier said than done and I am still learning. Having said that, a part of me thinks I am just the best. Slimming down is definitely on my top priority list and I am getting there slowly despite being the lazy person that I am. I am also sure I will overcome my procrastination and transform into a better version of me.

Me! 

Until then,

Be Fat. Be Confident. Be Fabulous! 

Of addiction.

Like any mortal being, I have my share of addictions.

Being a woman, I am inherently addicted to chocolate. I hardly find someone of either genders who swears to not like chocolate. That does not mean I haven't come across such non-chocoholics, but that is not what I am blogging about right.
Any person who has been living on chocolates can well describe the effects they are put under on its consumption. The effects include drooling, smiling purposelessly, staring into space and mumbling gobbledegook! But we chocoholics would rather remain in a trance than being stuck in a sad, routine day. I practically live on chocolate. That's my Addiction # 1.

Everybody has their favourites from the film industry. As for me, I drool over certain cinema personalities. Them being, Gerard Butler, Johnny Depp, Rupert Grint and Leonardo diCaprio. I am addicted to them, and I am addicted to their movies. I am not much of a hollywood person, but then Wikipedia and Google give me their filmographies and Youtube provides me with the vids.

I am addicted to books. I boast of a mini-library in my house. I read books of all genres, my first favourite being the Harry Potter series, but more on him later. My favourites - the basic Sidney Sheldons, John Grishams, Chicken Soups and various titles on Indian and World History. I am obsessed with book-stores cos thats where the primary addiction for books start. Half my credit card expenditure is on these darned bookstore chains.(as luck would have it, there's an Odyssey in the immediate neighbourhood. Corporate blood-sucking chains I tell you) Anyway, the addiction continues and my mother is considering sending me to Shopoholics Anonymous (if there exists one)

Apart from the above, I am addicted to Writing, Facebook, my iPhone.

End of part 1.