Acceptance and busting Pregnancy-related Myths

I have never complied by rules on the first go. If someone asks me to do something a certain way, I first do the opposite and then if that does not bode well with me I will return to do things the way I was first asked to do. So naturally, my first instinct is usually to revolt and if that does not work, I recede.

So when I found out I was pregnant, I was bombarded with all sorts of dos and don'ts that I needed to take care of for the impending gestation period. Not just people, the books and the websites and every little material I read and saw tried to put me off certain things more than anything. And being the natural 'chill'er in life, I paid little or no attention to most advice that was doled out to me. 

It was then that my husband pointed out a general flaw in my personality that I characteristically emote disapproval through my face more often than I need to and that hit home! Even though my intention was not such, my face emoted my detachment from the advise as soon as it was given to me. I decided to be a little more accepting of things that were said to me, especially by family, because of course they mean well and 'all they want is good health for you and the baby', I told myself. 

So with time, I adopted a more tolerant attitude toward said things but I did not completely shed my disapproving behaviour. I transformed into a more logical self, analysing things I was told to do and adjusting them to suit the needs of the baby and me. It was in the course of these meticulous 5 months of analysing, over analysing, incessantly reading and personal experiences that I came to realise that some pregnancy related advice are essentially myths.  

1. The Great 'Khatta khaane ka mann' logic
No, you do not suddenly want to eat all the achaar and the khatta imli when you conceive. Some have the hankering for sweet food and some for savoury. I, for one, oscillated between the two. You feel like eating a lot of sour things to basically ease the first trimester nausea but that too, for some women, is a temp thing which last a couple of weeks.

2. Sleeping on your right is a strict NO-NO
Yes, the doctors will advise you to avoid sleeping on your back. Sleeping on your back compromises the blood flow to the uterus and the baby. Also, towards the end of the third trimester, your lungs will feel burdened if you sleep on your back and so your cuddle up on your side. But one of the scariest things I have heard is that sleeping on your right results in the birth of a still-born. I have met with a fair few doctors and practitioners in my present term and there is no medical proof backing this claim. 

3. The many many legends of guessing the baby's gender
The silver chain and ring test, the sweet-savoury craving test, the shape of the tummy test. There are all kinds of small little legends that people have to determine the gender of the baby. Personally, my husband and I never really put a lot of thought into it. When someone tries to predict the gender of the baby, I laugh it off by saying that there is at least a 50% chance they are right. Either way.

4. You have got to eat for two!
No! You have got to eat healthy, being an expecting mum. And the doctor will advise you of the same after taking into consideration your medical history. And when they tell you to eat for two, pile on the nutrition, not the portion size! 

5. Pile on the kilos
Not all mommys-to-be need to put on anywhere between 10 to 15 kilos while preparing themselves for the baby. You can put on anywhere between 5 to 18 kilos but the range is decided upon by your doctor after taking your BMI into account. Since I am an overweight woman, I have been advised to gain weight in the 5-8 kilo bracket. With the right food, exercise and activity, the less than needed gain weight does not affect the baby at all.

6. Do not drive!
Agreed that the first couple of months, you are on tenterhooks about the whole driving thing. You want to but you are too scared to and so you completely do not. But personally, driving is something which is a lot more convenient than riding a bike (which you should avoid because of increased accident risks) Take a couple of months off in the beginning if you are unsure, but you can resume driving if your back feels fine. Plus the kick from driving is more soothing than anything else.

7. The third trimester will only make you look and feel unattractive.
Maybe. But not always. Pregnancy glow is not a thing abundantly found among women. In that case, use makeup to your rescue. And yes, you will feel tired most of the time but lean on your husband to lift up your spirits when you are feeling unattractive (read troll-like)

Before you take my word for it entirely, these are the things I have generally found to be non-applicable in my case. But if you do try to google their authenticity, you will find at least one hit on the first page that will debunk my claim as well. So, like me, do venture out to make your pregnancy your own personal experience than being chained to some age-old things you are forced to comply by. And do this whilst being accepting of all opinions. 

Cheers! 
D

5 thoughts I have when the baby moves!

One of the most defining moments during your pregnancy is the time you feel the baby squirm inside of you. Given that you have been living with a black and white ultrasound image of a blob of mass, five months into the pregnancy, you finally get that one proof that there is indeed something growing inside you and believe it or not, it is FREAKY!

Let me dive head first into it. I know you are judging me a little when I do not categorise my 'the baby moved' experience as beautiful. It was downright freaky. It is only then that the time has arrived for you to come to terms with the fact that you are now a manufacturing and food processing unit for another human for the next 4-5 months of your life. Of course, over time the frantic situation dissolves into a more subtle and novel experience but there is no denying all these feels you will feel when you actually feel the baby move for the first time and all the times after that!

1. Is it gas?
Yes. That was the absolute first thought and heck, it felt like it too. The soft feathery swish termed as quickening is what most mothers feel in the early months of the second trimester. Though categorised as baby movements, quickening is more like that uneasy wave of gas you feel after a heavy mexican meal. It took me while to tell the two apart *facepalm*

2. Bring it on baby
The baby loves a challenge and so do I! This is one good thing that happened in the months that followed the movements. I have not had sleepless nights because of the kicks, in fact it helped me sleep more soundly knowing there was an over-achiever in my belly. To be an expectant mother and be so laid back about it is something I am given grief over constantly but hey, why fret when the baby is as chill as you are! 

3. That is an unreachable itch!
The squirming inside your belly however results in an unbearable itch. What is worse is that this is happening inside your body and there is nothing you can do about that except for plead to the baby to go easy on you. Mine did not listen to me and only became more active. The little devil, this one! 

4. Do I sit or do I stand or do I lay down?
So what is the protocol when you feel the first set of solid kicks. That is, after you have identified them as baby kicks/movements. Do you sit down or do you stroll around a little or do you just lie down on your side. What will aid the baby's movements more? The answer to this, however, comes to you with time as you live with your baby and learn its habits. Each baby reacts to the mother and the environment in a different way and so you have got to work with the baby to find what is best for them.

5. Come on baby, put on a show! 
I have a baby who does not comply by demands. So when you tell the baby to move, there will be dead silence, like absolutely no movement but moves about nonstop when I am in the middle of a midnight snack watching Modern Family re-runs. Fact of the matter: My baby moves only when it wants to. He is a twisted one too, moves the most when the Nani (my mum) or the father (my husband) talk. 

Four months into feeling the little one move around and doing somersault pretty much every time I eat cake, I am more used to this than anything else.

I am into this constant habit of sitting on a straight chair with the laptop propped in front me as I sit down to type posts every other day. And for the past few weeks, the baby syncs its kicks and movements to the sound of me typing on the keyboard. I even get an appreciative jab or a punch after I type a particularly long non-punctuated sentence. Of course, I will miss this synchronised dance routine we share but I am ready for little 'baby hashtag' to kick me out of my sleep every night. 

Have you felt anything like this while you were pregnant with your baby or was it different? Do share your thoughts. 

Cheers! 
D.

Plus-size shopping : My favourite brands

Wearing a comfortable Jersey Tshirt from aLL

The struggle for the perfect clothes is real. And especially if you are a full-figured on-the-heavier side woman, finding clothes that are the right size and fit for you is the most difficult. 

For years, I have been on the lookout for stores big and small that had signs on their doors that read 'UPTO 7XL SIZE AVAILABLE'. These places do not necessarily make me feel all too great about myself but hey, a girl's got to do all she can to look like a million bucks. Makeup could only take me so far. Clothes is another level altogether. I have had a lot of people telling me very politely over the years, 'Nahi yaar, XXL toh aa hi jaayega kyuki tum inti bhi moti nahi ho'. But then I passed the XXL mark in a lot of popular retail brands a few years ago according to whom size variations are just darned. It is hilarious that a size XXL is not necessarily the same fit and measurements in any two brands. 

And so began my quest for that one brand that would cater to my style preferences and not be limited in terms of variety. In my search that has spanned nearly 8 years, I have narrowed down my favourites to the following seven. 

1. aLL

2. Mustard
The first two brands are all about basic clothing and comfort. The price point on these brands are just above the normal range and the size options are wide too. Personally, my favourites from aLL are the Denims and from Mustard are the Kurtis and tank-tops.

3. Gia

4. Sassy Soda
Gia and Sassy Soda are two inhouse brands at Westside and I LOVE them! I discovered them only 3 years ago and have been obsessed with their range. They update their collection with the current trends and do not shy away from experiementing with silhouettes for plus size women.

5. Biba

6. Mebaz
Biba and Mebaz are my two go-to brands for ethnic clothing. While Biba is all about organic cottons and silks and fabrics that can be worn daily, Mebaz is all jazz and shimmer with a dazzling party-wear collection. 

7. Asos
Last but not the least, the brand that every blogger loves but me, not as much. Asos does have a decent collection for plus size women and the range is exquisite but the shipping and the aftermath are horrid especially if you are new to the world of international shipping. My advice would be to choose Asos over other brands for clothes that are kitsch and unique.

Apart from these brands, there are a lot of independent designers and fashion brands that are reinventing fashion to be more size-inclusive. Gladly, there is a lot more choice in terms of styles, designs and patterns for plus size people out there and this is only on the rise. If you are looking at a more niche shopping experience over buying generic clothes from the places I mentioned above, you can try out these websites.

1. Amydus

2. RDKL-U

3. LastInch

4. Calae

5. Oxolloxo

6. Kaaryah

7. Faballey Curve

Of the brands mentioned above, I have had personal shopping experiences with only one of them. Other brands come heavily recommended though and so I would strongly suggest you give them a spin. 

Is there any plus-size brand that you have loved and is not a part of this list then let me know. I would love to try them out!
Until next time

Cheers,
D

5 unexpected ways your body changes during Pregnancy!

Cruising through the last month of pregnancy is turning out to be quite uneventful apart from the fact that I am suddenly very aware of every little thing that happens to my body. Apart from the obvious physical changes(duh!) that an expecting mother's body goes through during the nine months, some changes in my body took me by surprise. Read on! 

1. Nose

I am not making this up! And this is no exclusive occurrence either. If you have known an expecting mother, ask her about it and she will deny it happens. But then ask her to compare the pictures of her pregnant self with those of her pre-pregnancy self and you will have given her an epiphany. Most new moms are unaware that our noses grow in size when we cruise through the second trimester into the third. However, it is ironic that the growing nose contributes very little to the stuffy, breathless feeling we get towards the end of the third trimester because the baby grows giving your lungs very little space to function to their full capacity. Makes that growing nose feel quite redundant, doesn't it!!

2. Clumsy limbs

As the baby bump grows, your centre of gravity shifts and your body threatens to double over and fall more than usual. So like me if you have had a clumsy bone all throughout your life, things will only go downhill from here. My brain and limbs have ceased to coordinate and I just drop things while I am holding them, and for no apparent reason. They just slip out of my grip. I am not being even slightly hyperbolic when I say this. As if maintaining a healthy hand-eye-leg coordination was not enough, the pregnancy brain is totally giving me away! 

Also, pregnancy brain is the real deal! 

3. Jawline

If you are past the 30 week mark, congratulations, you now do not have a jawline. Except if you are a supermodel or a fitness freak in which case, I hate you! With the expanding nose and aching teeth, I now have a chubby round baby's butt for a jawline. Smiling or not, my face resembles a full blown balloon which is legit cool given I am pregnant and everything.  

4. Foot size

I have not had the aching swollen feet and ankles but heck I have the curse of the pregnancy feet. Any other footwear variation that is not a flip-flop feel like thorns and fashion sense literally gets thrown out the window. Bye-bye high fashion and street style footwear choices and hello man-slippers. My foot has increased by one size and flip-flops are nirvana. Socks, on the other hand, are murder. Because, heat!

5. Nails

The nails grow at an alarming rate and behold! they are strong and anything but brittle. Think about all those amazing matte mail polishes you can wear and flaunt with them perfect nails. But as luck would have it, when your maternal instincts kick in in the third semester, anything remotely sharp will make it to the garbage can and there go the 'perfect nails'. Get ready for months of non-manicured hands because baby comes first.

Anything you have felt out of the ordinary during your term of pregnancy which has not made it to this list, let me know. I have a nagging feeling in the back of my head that this list will need some constant updating. 

Until the next post in this series, Cheers! 
D

What they don't tell you about being pregnant!

Pregnancy!
One of those things in life that have been extensively talked and written about. Every single person you meet in the course of your pregnancy will have at least one piece of advice for you because the world cares immensely for that unborn baby inside of you and they want you to be careful and loving and nurturing. There are, however, things that no one will teach you singularly. This kind of knowledge, these epiphanies, come to you with experience and living through these experiences personally. Now in the third trimester, I have read 'What to expect when you are expecting' cover to cover twice. Although the book is highly extensive and detailed, there are so many things it did not warn me about in advance.

This far along the pregnancy, I have come to realise these things!

1. Maternity Clothes are essentially pointless

Yes!All these big brand-houses making you want to buy maternity clothes as soon as you hit the second trimester have been fooling you all along. You and your 'baby bump self' will need new clothes but only if you intend to do a full-blown 7 schedule photo shoot of yourself with different clothes on. Bodies do not change overnight for most women. The change is more gradual and for most part of the pregnancy, your regular sweatpants and t-shirts will fit the bill just fine. If you still feel the need to own clothing options that were specially made for pregnant women, buy yourself a couple of pretty wrap dresses, kaftans and some bright flip-flops. That should cover you just fine and will also come in handy later.

2. Love-hate relationship with the maid

Most expecting moms will agree with me on this. There are days when your house-help just decides to skip work without prior notice and you are left blindsided. Now all you are doing is worrying yourself sick about the laundry that needs to be cleaned and the entertainment centre that needs to be dusted. You will call her and scream your lungs hoarse asking her to never show up on your door again but again your fatigue takes over the adrenaline rush you just had in that fit of rage and more often than not you find yourself calling the maid back the next minute politely asking her when she will show up next. After your husband, the maid will probably be the most important person who will provide you solace - especially in the first and the third trimester.

3. Worrying over the size of the baby-bump

Before you argue that most books and pregnancy related websites will tell you that all baby bump sizes differ, hear me out. No matter how prepared you are, your calm mental demeanour takes a real hit when your seventh month bump pretty much looks like a fifth month bump. And when you compose yourself, there will be a whole army of people you know who will unabashedly point it out to you that your bump does not look quite 'there yet'. You will do the unthinkable to prove them wrong. You will arch your spine leaning backwards so your bump protrudes to the front and you will constantly place your hands on the top of the belly to make the bump look more pronounced. Believe me, the pressure of looking the quintessential pregnant woman is so much more than anyone makes it to be.

4. Fat women actually have it easy

Contrary to popular belief, women on the heavier side (read fat) have swift pregnancies when compared to their skinnier contemporaries. I speak of this through personal experience. Since we have spent a large part of our teenage and youth manoeuvring our 'big' frames, the time when the pregnancy bump starts to grow it does not change our centre of gravity as drastically as it does for other women. Moving around with an additional 15-20 pounds seem like a no-brainer and major distress in the back and the legs are things of fiction.

5. The husband tiptoes around you, the world does not!

The world around you in general becomes a lot more vocal and judge-y when it comes to you. While your husband (and in a lot of cases, your families) tiptoe around you and speak to you with caution, others have a major flapback tendency of not doing so. Filters are forgotten and so are boundaries. So there will be tummy-touching, no matter how uncomfortable you tell them you are with it. You get the old 'stop being silly' jibe from them before they proceed to do exactly what you had forbade them to do a second ago. Advice will be hurled at you from all quarters so teach yourself some head-bopping and polite nodding to be used in such situations. Do not even try to avoid this phase cos the world is the self-appointed guardian of your unborn baby and at the end of the day, they do mean well.

No matter what is said and done, at the end of the day, the love of your husband and your families is what keeps you going. Through the sleepless nights and bouts of weird dreams that you have and through the many mood-swings and weepy mornings that you cannot get over, they live it all with you. So as long as you are pregnant, make them your world and prioritise your energy on keeping yourself and the baby healthy. Everything else will fall into place. And anything trivial will automatically fall behind. 

The Anti-Teacher

I am the anti-teacher.

I am not anti teachers. I am the anti-teacher.

Having been a teacher myself for about 18 months, I understand the dilemma teachers are faced in the early stages of their teaching career. To be strict or not. To be the loved teacher or the frowny disciplined one. Before you chance upon the thought in your head that a teacher can be both strict and fun at the same time, let me stop you right there! A fun-strict teacher is a myth. What you may be thinking about is a teacher with a bipolar disorder with occasional ticks towards the two extremes whilst being a teacher. I was the fun one. Well, I wanted to think I was the fun one. I was the fresh graduate who, within a year, began teaching under-graduate students. Technically my super-super juniors. With not so much of an age difference between the students and myself, I started off on a chilled-out note with my class. A month went by quite breezy.

"This is so easy!", I thought happily.

Then one day, I snapped. When the class was particularly boisterous one morning, I ended up losing my head and shouting my frustration out. I did not call the class a 'fish market', I went for something a tad more creative and unique. (As a dear student, now friend, reminds me every year on Teachers' Day, I called them buffaloes)

I am not proud in the least of what I did because the pressure of being the cool teacher broke me. And this was just a couple of months into being a teacher. From that day on, I tried to oscillate between roles. The fun one some days, the strict one the other. But as far as I can look back at my stint and analyse, I just scraped by as an average teacher. The bipolarity of being a teacher coincided with the flaws in my personality and it spelled disaster. Nevertheless, I did have small successes, something which gives me solace. I did end up making sure academia was the focus and when I was through being a teacher, I came out of the college with more friends than leaving behind students.

This is the reason why I call myself the anti-teacher. Because in spite of how easy being a teacher looks, it is the most difficult job in the world. For someone like me who has tried a lot of different career paths in the last 9 years, this is the job I was most challenged with.

Like I said before, I did have glorious stints as a teacher. A year into the profession and I was getting a better understanding of the position I held. And yet, I knew that when I would quit, I would never want to be a teacher again. Teaching is the hardest profession there is because as a teacher, you are responsible for imparting knowledge and wisdom. And despite being aware of their responsibility, they have to be one of the most humble people you will ever meet in your life. For this realisation alone, I have the most respect for the teachers in my life. From home to kindergarten to college and photography school after, I have had the pleasure of being guided by brilliant teachers who have moulded my personality into what it is today.

Thank you Teachers.

Spunk and Colour - Meenakshi Pamnani

It started out in the early months of 2016 when I conceptualised and decided to document and chart the journey of fashion prominent women bloggers in Hyderabad. I knew some of these bloggers personally and I reached out to a couple more and received the warmest reception from them. The plan did hit a bump (pun intended) when I found out I was pregnant but I did meet the bloggers over coffee and they were ever so sweet about sharing their stories with me. This blog is the second in the series.

Meet Meenakshi Pamnani!
My connection to this fashion blogger is more personal than professional. She started her blogging journey back in December 2014 and that is also the time when I started shooting for her blogs. My association with 'The Shimmer Girl' has been the longest with our mutual obsession over glitter, sequin and chocolates. The Shimmer Girl aka Meenakshi Pamnani is all of 21 years old but she is on her way to making a mark in the Hyderabad fashion blogging scene. 

What started out as a hobby turned into a passion for this blogger. Meenakshi was already a celebrity of sorts when she set out to become a fashion blogger. A national level athlete with a prominent social media presence, she was already a celebrity of sorts when she discovered her love for all things fashion and beauty. Her style is all about colour and shimmer, something she feels very passionate about. 

From being a part time blogger to turning a full time fashion writer and adviser, she now directs style and fashion related content for a number of lifestyle websites. 

Now happily married to cricketer Ravi Teja, Meenakshi has a lot of new posts and collaborations in the pipeline for her viewers along with a stream of exciting videos on her channel.

Here are some of my favourite shots of Meenakshi from our past collaborations:

You can follow her blog here and her YouTube channel here

Throwback to the first post in the photo series where I photograph and chat with some significant women personalities and bloggers in the city - Quiet and Fierce: Chandana Munipalle

#ShaadiSeries : 11 Things I would have done differently in my wedding

Right now, I am 9 months into my wedding but most days I feel like it only happened yesterday. But then there are times it feels like it was years ago, what with all that is happening in life at such a fast pace. Looking back at my wedding, I do have regrets about how I planned things and how things finally went down around me.

I remembered vividly, a week into the wedding, that I completely forgot to make personal phone-calls to people I intended to invite. And then there were times during the week-long wedding celebrations when things were completely unplanned and a lot of the pre-wedding functions just happened to pass by with nothing more than a whisper. No hullabaloo, no pomp. So now, after months of making mental notes about it, I finally decided to share my take on a few things that I would have done differently in my wedding. If you are a bride-to-be or are helping out a bride in planning her wedding, in one or more ways, most of these things will apply to your scenario as well. So read on!

1. Wedding Lehenga woes

Like most potential brides, I wanted a wedding lehenga that was nothing less than a show-stopper. As soon as my wedding date was fixed, I jumped on to Pinterest and started pinning (like crazy) images of wedding outfits that were breathtaking! When you start discovering lehenga designs online, take into account the type of lehenga you want and the budget you want it in. You might want a raw silk designer lehenga or a lightweight georgette flowy lehenga from a local boutique, they all differ in prices and designs. I went lehenga shopping with a blank canvas in the mind and absolutely no idea about what I wanted. And therefore I ended up loving and buying a beautiful but heavily embroidered designer lehenga that was too huge for my overweight frame which stood stiff when worn. Considering my body type, I should have chosen a lightweight flowy lehenga but by the time I realised that, I had already made a pretty big investment in the earlier lehenga.

2. Better Photography options

Alas! This is one thing I will regret forever!!! Being a candid photographer myself, I know the importance of choosing the right photographer for the job otherwise key moments from your event get missed out and are never caught on frame. I made the biggest mistake of hiring an event organiser to handle the photography and cinematography departments. Not only did I never get to meet the photographer in person to discuss the photographs I wanted taken at the wedding, but also I did not get the key getting ready shots which I was absolutely looking forward to. Agreed that the photographers today charge a lot more than traditional photographers did back in the day, but do spare some time to find the right photographer that fit your budget. And always meet with them in person to understand their vision and work before you commit to them.

3. Planning and Delegation

This is the biggest problem people like me have. I take up all the work on my own and hate delegating work in the fear that others might end up ruining it. Turns out, I ruined a lot of things on my own because everything was too much for me to handle. Reach out to friends who live locally and ask them for help with wedding preparations. I was mostly on my own for most part of the 6 months wedding planning time and hence ended up taking all the responsibility till the last minute. Keep yourself totally work-free especially in the two weeks before the D-Day. I was running errands till a day before the wedding celebrations began and that messed up my already raging nerves.

4. Mehendi function

Believe it or not, I do not have one photograph of my Mehendi function where I look anywhere close to a bride-to-be. My hair is tied in a sock-bun, I am wearing my workout clothes and my face is lacklustre and gaunt. To top it all, I was an emotional wreck trying to allocate mehendi-waalis to the wedding guests and running hither tither before I finally sat myself down to get on with the mehendi myself. Though my camera made rounds, not one person managed to take a good photograph during the function and so those adorable pictures I had pinned of beautiful after-mehendi shots months ago never actually happened. I only blame myself.

5. Personal Invitations

I mentioned this earlier as well. I emailed and texted people inviting for the wedding, I communicated with them that I would email them the coordinates to the venue and surprise surprise, I never emailed most of them those coordinates. I also totally forgot to personally call a bunch of people in all the pre-wedding madness. Yes, I had a list prepared and everything but it totally slipped my mind to call back those numbers that were unavailable the first time. A total bummer on my part. The best thing for handing out those personal invites would have been to step on them 4 weeks before the D-day so that all fronts were covered!

6. LISTS LISTS LISTS!

I had lists. This is one thing I am very proud of actually. I made all the darned lists. But in effect those lists did not really get worked on completely as they were all just restricted to me, my mum and my aunt. I cannot emphasise enough on the importance of having help in organising the wedding. Share lists, prioritise work and let your ego disappear when you have to ask for help during your wedding preparation. Trust me, work distributed is sorted much faster. WhatsApp groups and email blasts are your best friends in this time.

7. Bridal Shower

Do not wait on your friends to organise a bridal shower or throw a surprise bachelorette party. Most times, if you do not let your friends and family know that you are expecting a celebration, chances are you will not get one. I made this misjudgement about an impending shower and having realised I wasn't going to get one, I put together a last minute dinner date with a few friends and that was it. If like me, you have the biggest expectations and love being pampered, make sure to let a couple of your closest friends know exactly that.

8. Family time

Do not be so caught up in the arrangements and preparation that you are unable to give your mum and dad some love and attention right before you scoot off into your new life. I regret not having a family fun night with my mum and my family before the wedding. I do make up for it every time I spend weekends with them after the wedding, but I did lose out on the key pre-wedding bonding time with the family.

9. Stick to the budget

If you are making a budget, you are making it for a reason. Stick to it and when you feel like going past that, pinch yourself hard and take a step back. I did not go crazy bonkers above the budget I set for myself but I did spend more than I needed to and unnecessary expenses will always come back to bite you.

10. Allocate realistic makeup time

By realistic, I do not mean hours together but an hour should be more than enough for you to get ready especially if you are in between functions. For me, it was the brief time between the Pooja and the Reception that I was given. I had 20 minutes to change into the lehenga, change jewellery and makeup. And so, in all the rushed madness, I forgot to adorn the two things I specially bought to complement my wedding outfit - a customised second dupatta and a nose ring which I bought after a painstaking search that spanned three months. Sucks, right!

11. Be the Queen and give your King all the attention

Not only did I lose out on the chance of playing queen for a month, but also I practically lived like a commoner trying to manage expectations during that time. I got so caught up trying to make everything perfect that I totally ignored my husband during a lot of them pre-wedding and wedding proceedings. Kudos to him for marrying me in spite of me being an insufferable control freak.

Listen up Brides! Let yourself go and be the queen for the entire time you are the designated bride-to-be because this time in your life will never come back! 

Until next time,
Cheers!
D

How to draw a simple Mandala

mandala

ˈmandələ,ˈmʌn-/

noun

a circular figure representing the universe in Hindu and Buddhist symbolism.

To a lot of doodling and drawing enthusiasts, mandalas are the circular patterns that talk symmetry, beauty and perceiving perfection in the face of some haphazard yet repetitive patterns. My fascination with mandala patterns began when I discovered them in colouring books for adults a couple of years back. The intricacy of the patterns and the way the patterns adapted to colour was what appealed to me more than anything. I then tried to get myself to draw a couple of mandalas when I could. Mind you, they look awfully simple but it is rather tricky to get the symmetry right. 

It was after many unsuccessful attempts, I found a nondescript video on YouTube that showed me this amazingly creative and easy way to draw beautiful mandalas and I would love to share it with you!

Here you go! 

You will need :

1) An OHP marker or a felt tip marker pen. To be able to draw more intricate patterns, you can choose a pen with consistent writing abilities and a fine tip. 

2) An HB pencil

3) Compass from a Geometry set

4) A4 sheet

5) Old newspapers

Tools of the trade

With the centre of the sheet as the reference point, draw circles starting with the smallest inner circle. The circles need not be of the same diametric ratio so you can really not worry about spacing and just draw the circles making sure the centre of your compass is a constant as shown in the picture below.

Drawing the circles with a constant center

Put old newspapers between the sheet you are working on and the surface so that you do not stain it as marker pens tend to bleed. Starting with the innermost circle and moving outwards, fill the circles with simple patterns. 

Start filling in the circles with simple patterns

Do not worry about handling the pen to the paper. Simple repeating patterns like lines, leaves and dots can be used to fill in the spaces. Also remember about not being perfectly in sync. The beauty of a mandala lies in the fact that the completed pattern looks like perfection even if your fillings inside miss a line or a flower.

Close-up to the not-so-perfect pattern filling

If in between, you are missing inspiration and have hit a block, no need to fret at all. Simply fill it in with a solid black colour. The solid black against the white work sheet will create a striking impact. 

Just keep on going! Fill it all in black

You can stretch the mandala as far out as you like it. 

Symmetry in the bigger picture!

And here is one of mine! 

The finished product!

I am no good with the pen and I still managed to make this mandala following some simple tricks! I bet you can too. Next time, I am making one with colours and I will remember to share it too with you guys.

Do try this out and share your completed mandalas with me :)

Until next time!
Cheers,
D

#ShaadiSeries : When it's not your party!

I have missed this. Typing incessantly without a worry in the world about having to sound coherent or sensible. 

Back to business! I have a stable WiFi connection now, which allows me to work, connect and blog. So, Hurrah! For the uninformed, I have been married for over three months now and I am in the middle of what most people call 'adjustment'. With that being taken care of rather healthily, I spend a lot of the free time I have thinking about my wedding hullabaloo. I'll be honest here. I have always wanted a huge wedding, complete with the functions and the fun and the laughter. The works. And now that I look back on the week when it actually happened I realise bit by bit that it was nothing short of a dream. At times, I sailed through the days as if I was looking down upon what was happening as an onlooker.

But most of it was not my party, and if you have been through the wedding process you know what I mean. While a wedding and all the functions are supposed to be about the ones who are getting married, the ones who are about to tie the knot hardly get to have as much fun as the others. They do not even get to have a say in the proceedings lest you want that glaring look from that random auntyji silently imploring you to zip it! You are either too laid-back to even care or too hyper that you try and control everything that happens. There will be people, relatives mostly, who will be up and about trying to find a flaw in the proceedings or as the famous phrase goes - ungli karna. I, for one, did manage to transform into my obsessive self and pretty much try and get a control over everything that was happening. As it is I was doomed to have a nerve wrecking time being the bride, on top of that, I wreaked upon myself the burden of making sure everything happens smoothly. The realisation dawned quite late so to say, but I am here making a public service announcement to all the new brides-to-be.

You will have butterflies and you will want it all to be a fairytale but do not be the one who has to make sure that happens. Delegate chores, relax and sit back. Your job is to get dressed on time and show up, let your friends and cousins and your family fret about the details. Trust me when I say this, but candid pictures of you frowning over a table arrangement gone wrong is the last wedding memory you need. Voice your concerns to your loved ones beforehand (like a fortnight before the D-day) and let it go because when you are getting married, your mantra to live by should be just that. It may not be your party, but it sure is the most important day of your life. Have at it that way. 

#ShaadiSeries : I did my own make-up!

When I first set out to look for a make-up artist who would help me deck up for the wedding, I looked EVERYWHERE! I even considered, for a fraction of a second, to hire a professional cinema level artist even if it paid a bomb. But then I wanted all that time I spent on Youtube and Pinterest to be as productive as possible so in spite of being a newbie to make-up, I decided to be my own make-up artist. To be honest, I did not ever meet a bride who told me that she managed successfully with a make-up regime of her own but I told myself I was going to crack it and so I did. The month leading up to the wedding, a number of my acquaintances and friends were tying the knot. I was figuratively mortified when I saw some of them made-up faces. Glowing 'post uptan and haldi' faces hiding beneath an inch of high-definition foundation and concealer. The natural blush was covered and a fake one was given courtesy a M.A.C blush. Those horrendous black smokey eyes on a hot pink lehenga and eyebrows that were drawn jet black. Everything about these brides sadly was unreal and dissatisfying. This became another reason why I went on to choose what I did. Also, I have a blemish free skin and fortunately for me the only base I need for my make-up is some BB cream and compact powder. I will not take all the credit because I did get a lot of help from my friends and cousins in getting dressed with them donning roles of assistants, hairdressers and make-up professionals on the D-Day but it was all worth it. 

Here are the looks from the three big wedding functions where I managed to do my own make-up (well, almost) 

My baby sister cherry came in to for a final showcase of the look after I was done and went on to put blush on my cheeks for the final effect.

My best friend Khansa came in like a genie on the Reception day and with the skill of an artist helped me out with some basic contouring for a slightly more finished look. All the days, another one of my besties Meeta, did my hair. For draping the dupatta and the saree, I had MAJOR help from my cousin Jyothi and Bua.

It all fell together beautifully and I don't think I could have managed to look as natural and glowing as this if I had opted for professional salon make-up.

But if you are planning to go the same way that I did, always keep in mind that you are not a bridezilla in the making who might just have a mega meltdown on the D-day if things do not go your way. Always be on the lookout for a eye-liner related mishap. Also, doing your own work on your wedding is not what a lot of brides consider ideal and if you are one of those, get a professional and don't pay heed to what I just said.

I intend to rant a lot more about my shaadi in this series. Stay tuned for the next one! Until then, tata!

D

My Rad Red Lipstick

I have discussed this a lot of times before this on other social media platforms about why a bold red lipstick is my go-to always. A late night epiphany led me to believe that a red lipstick gives me that much needed confidence boost and I strongly concur with that thought process. 

Quoting the character Martha Rodgers from the crime drama Castle, 

"Newsflash! She already has body image issues. It's an intrinsic part of being a woman. Every woman in the world has some part of herself that she absolutely hates. Her hands are too small, her feet are too big, her hair is too straight, too curly, her ears stick out, her bum's too flat, her nose is too big and, you know, nothing you can say will change how we feel. What men don't understand is, the right clothes, the right shoes, the right makeup, it just... It, it hides the flaws we think we have. They make us look more beautiful to ourselves. That's what makes us look beautiful to others."

She could not have been more correct about pointing out the intricacies of what women want and why they want it. Yes, we want to be noticed and appreciated. But before that, we want to be able to look in the mirror and smile at the reflection that looks back at us. My Rad Red Lipstick does that for me. It hides the flaws I think I have and makes my face glow like I have a spotlight following me all the bloody time! 

The biggest flaw I have is the fact that I am fat, obese even. I have always been told reassuringly that I more than make up for this flaw with my absolutely charming personality and a decently pretty face. But growing up hits hard and looking at myself there is a part of me that constantly wished that I went to sleep and woke up the next day having miraculously shed the excess weight. Well that did not happen so I looked for ways to hide that flaw I thought I had. I dressed down for the longest time right after my teens, sporting only oversized Tshirts and Jeans. For the slightest time, that made me comfortable. But after a couple of years, the red lips rage caught on and that is when I tried my first red. I still remember the first red lipstick I ever tried on, which I ended up buying later that week. It was Revlon's "Love that Red" which I still use sometimes (I am on the 3rd lipstick now!) Some of my recent favourites are Mac's "Lady Danger" and Wild n West's Glossy Red Lipstick.

Wet n Wild Glossy Red

Revlon - Love that Red

Mac Lady Danger

My rad red lipstick was my saving grace, that led me to accept my flaws and feel fabulous. I ask of you this, find your rad quotient. If you are way too confused, trust me, the red lipstick is every woman's best friend.