Baby Hashtag speaks | My sixth month

Do not blame me. 

This is Mumma's fault, all her fault. She was to remind me to write my monthly account. But apparently, taking care of me got in the way. EXCUSES, I tell you! Anyhoo, let me take you through my sixth month of living.

I am now 7 months old.

Mumma calls it my sixth month shenanigans, I on the other hand like to call it my adventures. A lot has gone down since the last time I wrote to you guys. I am six months old now and so that means I can officially start eating. Weeks of staring at people who gulped down food, I can happily have some of my own. So yay to that.

Turns out I am not given adult food at all. I am supposed to eat gooey mushy semi runny purees which they call baby food. No, thank you! I did enjoy the dal water (lentils soup) and aata halwa (wheat flour halwa) but mashed fruit is just uuurghh. And what is up with this monstrosity that they call Cerelac! I have never tasted anything like it before. Mumma made me eat it and I HATED it. One month in and I am still nowhere close to liking it. Mumma wants to give it another shot a few weeks later, so we'll just see how that goes. I already know I detest it and that's final.

Mumma has decided to begin Traditional weaning to feed me which means that I get to eat (?) mashed purees. It's no fun. Initially, she tried to feed me in the newborn toddler rocker chair but that was a fail so off we went shopping for a booster chair. We found one that I totally loved sitting in and meal times have been slightly more fun after that. As far as eating mashed food is concerned, I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

One vaccination happened at the beginning of the month. I'm not going to liep, it hurt. It hurt real bad. And while I cutely cooed and smiled at the doctor, he poked me with that pesky needle. That wasn't fun. I cried but it was OK in a bit.

Oooh another major milestone was crossed. I sit upright pretty much on my own for longer duration. So much so that, when I wake up in the middle of the night because of hunger, I sit up and cry with my eyes closed. How I know this is because mumma and Papa recollect this to others saying it's cute. If they say it's cute, it sure must be.

Pillow forts are redundant now. I can climb over them and cause extreme mayhem. Not that I am trying to be trouble but exploration requires me to be mobile and I am just curious. Tough luck, mumma! I am starting to hold the side of the crib and getting the hang of standing up on my own. Unsuccessful so far but I shall be a relentless boss baby and will not give up.

But because I am always trying to trip over things and fall face first, my crib that was attached to mumma and papa's bed is going to be removed and set up separately. Mumma has been putting me down to nap in the crib while it is still attached so I get used to the idea of a smaller bed. I don't really mind it so far. But then, I am mercurial and so I will definitely decide whether I like it or not when it is fully set up.

Oh and did I tell you that I got my ears pierced? Papa wanted to wait a few more months but mumma held that the sooner we got it done, the quicker I would recover. Papa and the family was convinced and so we went to the local goldsmith's and got the piercing done in the traditional way with the gold studs. Pained like hell and it took 5 minutes of incessant weeping, sobbing and sniffing and a trip to Papa's office to calm me down. Back home, I had forgotten all about it and the studs never caught my attention again. 

My favourite rhymes now are 'Five little monkeys' and 'The wheels on the bus'. My favourite chew toy is the board book called 'My Daddy' and my favourite play toy are the curtains. My favourite game is 'eat the furniture' and I love trying to climb over the pillows and get to the other side. 

I love it when Papa comes home. I see mumma everyday at home. I am not trying to be mean but I see Papa once in the evening and the sight of him visibly excites me! If I am being put to sleep, there is no way in hell that I will sleep if I see Papa has come back from work. 

There was a time when I loved video calls, now I like to roll around the bed while Mumma follows me with the phone when anyone is on the line. I crawl full well now although I am yet to crawl on the floor. Since I sometimes fall face first while crawling, I am being encouraged to master crawling on softer surfaces first.

Apart from sitting upright confidently, crawling nonstop, trying to stand and looking mighty cute, this past month was just about ordinary. Mumma calls it a hoot and a half but her need to exaggerate simple things is exhausting. But who am I to complain! I am just a baby. Right? 
*Wink*

See you in a few days with the next month's account.

Love,
Baby Hashtag.

Baby Hashtag speaks | My fifth month

I am six months old. SIX MONTHS OLD.
I was so little last month! I had only just started enjoying being an infant and now suddenly I am halfway done being one. This is so not cool! I wanted to be a teensy little baby a little longer. I was basking in the attention I was being given and I did not even have to respond to get a smile or a cuddle. This is so not done. I am so mad I could throw a tantrum which I am doing already, if you got the drift of what I was saying so far.

So getting right into it. Fifth month. The fifth month of my life was oh-so-good. For oh-so-many reasons.

There were no vaccinations this month! Woohoo. This is also my first summer. And apparently it is very hot. I, for one, do not get the full blast of the heat thanks to mumma and an overly doting papa. Even if it is hot in the slightest, he will take off my pajamas the very instant. On the other hand, if it gets windy, he puts on a cap on my head at the speed of lightening. I have to say I am enjoying this immensely. So no complains there.

Towards the end of the first week of the fifth month, I had some sort of a dust/foreign hair allergy on the body which was itchy as hell. But a quick trip to the doctor's and I was calamine-d and calm. Woot! Mumma and papa are still trying to figure out what the allergy happened from with the outcome being we'll see if it happens again and compare the two events.  

Way to go guys! 

*Eyeroll*

You see, I now recognise people. So if you scare me, I cry. And I remember that you scare me. So the next time you meet you, I will recollect the scaring part and cry again. I like this recollection that my little brain is doing. It is more reinforced now.

Speaking of recollection, we took a trip to Nani's in the second week and stayed there almost three weeks. Since I spent the first two months of life at Nani's, everyone was pretty confident that I would respond well to them. But wait, when did I ever bow to popular consensus? Naturally, a tantrum follows and everyone at Nani's spent the next 48 hours trying to coax me, bribe me with gifts, shiny objects and songs. Well, I like all of those. So I warmed up to them.

Before I divulge more details about the stay at Nani's, you have got to know about my train journey to Hyderabad. So, this was was my second trip by train (the first being the time when mumma papa got me home from Hyderabad) I was all set to have a great time and honestly, I was expecting some great memories. 

Anyhoo we were booked in the 3 tier AC bogey and there began the longest day of my life. Not one, not two, there were about a dozen kids in that one bogey and all under 2 years of age. I was ready to be well behaved and sleep on time but if someone messes with my sleep, then that triggers my switch. Somewhere around midnight when a baby cried (through which I happily snoozed) his granny decided that would be the best time to switch on all the lights and bajao the rattle. Loudly. I get trying to put the baby to sleep but this is insanity. Needless to say, my slumber was disrupted and I did not sleep the whole night because, well, tantrums. We got down at the station at 7 in the morning and I dozed off in the car ride to Nani's home after which Mumma Papa and I caught up on our sleep.

I had fun at Nani's. My favourite is Golu Maasi. She talks to me like an adult but looks like a kid only so I enjoy her company. A lot of mumma's friends came over to meet me while I was Nani's home. Meenu maasi, Sushee maasi, Nandu maasi and Jo maasi and I was my indulgent charming self as always so you can safely say I wooed them. 

Nani makes this clicking noise with her tongue that drives me crazy bonkers and jumpy. I love that. I also loved the insane drives mumma took me on EVERY evening. Mumma also bought me my first books. I like to chew them. Actually, I like to chew everything. That is one of my most favourite things to do. There were a lot of mosquitoes in Hyderabad and thankfully the Mamaearth insect repellant came in handy. I like how it smells. 

I have plenty of new and different favourites now.
'Haareya' from Meri pyaari bindu is my favourite song now. And I absolutely love it when Papa sings it to me. I love dancing to 'Kaala Chashma' and 'Shape of you'
More than these songs I really enjoy the 'Animals Song' that mumma plays on her phone. 

This was also the month of firsts. I went to a shopping mall for the first time. I also nursed in a shopping mall for the first time. Mumma went crazy and took a lot of mirror selfies with me. I also fell into a fixed daily routine and lucky for mumma I fall asleep by 10 to 10.30 pm every night. So yay to that! 

I spent most of my fifth month on my stomach trying to creep further. By the end of the month, I did get on my fours for just a bit. I see a fun sixth month ahead, with lot of crawling trials and mishaps. Good luck to mumma! Oooh and I also managed to sit up unsupported, albeit only for a few seconds! Also, I will begin eating semi solid food, that's what mumma says. I am not in a hurry, to tell you the truth but like all adventures, I will not say no to this one as well. 

Baby Hashtag speaks | My fourth month

Well what do you know! I am five months old already. Either time is going by really fast or I've been sleeping for most of the past few months. Oh wait, I HAVE been sleeping most of my life so far, haven't I?

Being a four month old is so much responsibility. Babycenter sends mum newsletters telling mum that I should have rolled over on my stomach and probably roll back to the earlier position. Setting high standards for babies, these lame websites. Not that I haven't rolled over. Yes, I did. But if I knew that I had to conform to some stupid norms states in a lame website, I would delay this rolling over business considerably. Oh well, now what is done, is done. So yeah, I finally rolled over. The first time I rolled over, mumma caught it on tape. And I was a tab bit on the edge of the bed. Mum still decided to shoot the rolling over cos how could I fall down when she is right there! Cut to one week later, when I was in the middle of one of my night slumber party feeds, I decided to do the rolling over (in my sleep) and I rolled right out of my mum's lap and on to the floor. I won't lie to you people, it hurt a lot. But five minutes of coddling, I was fine and then I made goo-goo eyes at mumma and papa who looked like they had just been smacked in the face by a truck. Mumma vowed to be extra careful that day on, cos well, every night after that I have rolled over in my sleep. So that's new. 

This month, I took my first nap in the crib and I kind of enjoyed it. I sleep in my crib more often and I seriously enjoy it more than mumma and papa's bed. It's sturdier, flatter and allows me to play freely. The bed with its dips and waves is just not for me. 

I recognise papa now. Everytime he comes home from office and calls me, I greet him with a huuuge smile. Why wouldn't I? He makes me sooo happy and makes me play on his belly. Mumma is fun too, but she is ALWAYS around. A little change in the form of papa is wee fun. 

This month, I did a lot of things for the first time. 

• I now enjoy tub baths. Mumma got this tub with bather from firstcry and I love it. She says she will review it soon. Let us add one more to her pending list of posts! 
• I sat in my rocker chair while Mumma cooked when the maid decided to bail on us. 
• I have now started sleeping on my side and I love it!
• Went to three new restaurants this month. Like I sais earlier also, I sense a pattern. 
• Mumma started working out and I flap my legs wildly when she does. I enjoy it thoroughly.
• I now move around on the bed a LOT! SO hello, fort of pillows.
• I spend more time playing on the play mat on my own. But when it does get boring, I scream bloody murder.
• I now roll over in my sleep which is wee fun but that messes with my sleep and that is so not cool. What do I do? I cry ofcourse! 

I also had my naming/christening function and I am named Kiara Genevieve Yashika Dadala. Phew. I know that's long. But I respond only to Yashika so that will stick. Popular theory has it that mumma is a photographer so she decided to name me Yashika. NO! I was named Yashika cos Kundali, Nakshatra and all that jazz bro. Having said that, I need to get clarity on this. For the last time guys. It's YASHIKA. With the K. Not C as in Yashica. I hope that is sorted once and for all. 

Mum cut her own hair at home. Though she was really pleased with the results, now she wants even shorter hair and will have to head to a salon. I will obviously accompanying her when does go, but whether or not I will throw a tantrum depends on my mood and how much mumma pampers me early on. 

I also met a LOT of people over this month who keep insisting to pick me up. Honestly, what is the deal with that! Maybe I'm just too cute. Then, I scream and throw a tantrum and all the cuteness honestly is pushed down the drain and I am returned to my mumma.

Works every single time! 

I also got vaccinated. I was administered the third dose of a single vaccine and there was no fever in the aftermath. Yay to that. 

Mumma has started writing letters to me and to be honest, I do not get most of them now. Hopefully, I will understand them in a few years but I have heard people say they are good. I cannot wait to read and make sense of them. 

Now I am five months old, time for daily milestones and daily achievements. But also, time to give mumma no breathing space whatsoever. Now that I am rolling over and am on my fours already, I feel like crawling soon. Let's see! I'll be back with my monthly update next month unless you want to hear from me often. Do tell me if you want me to come back earlier. And I will. 

Until next month,
Cheers! 
Baby Hashtag

The demons of the post-partem times

Everyone speaks about how wonderful it is to have a baby and how amazing being a mother feels. For all those who have been following my blog will concur with the fact that all the information you have from me about having a baby and the times after that are all fun and merry work. But it is not entirely that. Post delivery challenges are real and affect mostly everyone. If you meet a mother, who admits to having sailed through without a hiccup, the time after she delivered her baby, she is either too strong willed to accept defeat or she is just too proud to accept that anything was off. 

Let me make one thing very clear. Getting pregnant and having a baby are the two most rewarding experiences of a mother's lives. When I talk about the downside of post delivery experiences, I do not in anyway undermine the joy of birth. I am merely making the reader aware of what a new mother goes through in varying proportions. 

Here are some demons that the new mother faces head-on with the arrival of the baby:

1) Post partem depression

Post partem depression or PPD is real and grips women when they are least suspecting it. The counter to PPD is given as, 'she just had a baby, how can she be sad?' Well, women who are diagnosed with PPD do not hate their babies. In fact, they succumb to PPD because of the baby in their lives. Suddenly, a life depends on them for its well being and health and that overtakes every other thing on the mother's mind. Multiply that feeling of responsibility with raging pregnancy hormones in the system and you have a mother who is too weepy, emotional, angry and frustrated all at the same time. Add to that, being sleep deprived does not help the new mothers one bit. I, for one, am the most non-weepy person there is. I did not shed one tear or feel all too overwhelmed when I heard the baby's first cry and saw her in the box but I cried my eyes out the first night I sat through nursing the baby. Hormones. Luckily, I had the support of my husband and the family to help me with the baby and I was back to my normal cynical self. 

2) Neglect

A lot of women feel neglect when the new baby arrives as the focus of everyone's attention is not her anymore. Not that women are attention seekers but having gone though rigorous labor or a c sec surgery makes mommies a tad too emotional and needy. The feeling of neglect grows manifold especially when the husband decides to pay extra attention to the baby instead of her. A little advise to the new Papas. For the first couple of weeks post-delivery, go out of your way to make your woman feel special. Just little somethings like flowers, a backrub, chocolates or a simple pat on the cheek. The feeling of being neglected with subside substantially and she will not feel sidestepped. 

3) Overwhelm

A new mother in many cases is a proud mother. Today, women are well read and well informed. A little too informed actually. But having a baby is not about how well you know your shizz, it's about hands on knowledge. 

4) Under the scanner
A new mom is always under the scanner. What she does, how she raises the baby, the decisions she takes to that end, everything is being judged right from day one. And that is not a pleasant situation. A new mother needs to be advised only when she seeks the same from you. And you are out to give her some unsolicited advise, then be gentle and humble about it. She is already a sack of emotions and raging hormones. Do not judge her and put her to distress. Be supportive. 

5) Mommy-shaming

A mother does not choose to not breastfeed her baby. But sometimes due to various reasons (which she may choose to divulge or not) the mother chooses formula for her child instead of direct breastfeeding. DO NOT SHAME HER. She is looking out for her baby and whatever made her decide to go a certain way, let's leave the mother to it, shall we! Also, it took me a little over a week to feel emotionally connected with my little one. I had no immediate 'motherly' feelings taking over my mind as soon as I saw her, it took me time to get there. And I am glad I was not judged for the same. I eventually became the textbook version of a mother: overprotective, nursing, making goo-goo eyes at the baby. And that happened only because I was allowed to live with myself and not shamed for anything. 

Next time you meet a new mother, greet her with warmth and preferably a chocolate. There is nothing in the world that chocolate cannot cure.

Until next time,
D

Baby Hashtag Speaks | My third month

It's been really exhausting, this past month. All I want is to feed and sleep and my mother still gets it all wrong. This is a snippet of a conversation we had one mazy afternoon. But of course, I cry when I talk to her. These dialogues have been translated for your benefit. 

Baby Hashtag (Me): I want food

Mumma: OK, come, let me feed you

*settles in to nurse*

Me: But I said I want to sleep

Mumma: Oh I thought you said you were hungry. No worries, I'll rock you to sleep. 

Me: Woman, I need foooood!

Mumma: But you just rejected being nursed.

Me: I am hungry and sleepy. Do something. 

Mumma: OK, let me nurse you and you can fall asleep while doing that

Me: OK. Om nom nom nom nom....Zzzzzz

Mothers, I tell you!

I am fast approaching that phase where I do not sleep as much I slept in the first few weeks of my life. And when I know I am sleepy, I need help falling asleep because I cannot sleep on my own, try as I might. It will only get worse for mumma as my fourth month approaches when I will have severe sleep regression. I am not enjoying this okay, it is a developmental phase and like everything else, this too shall pass.

Anyhoo, this went on for about 2-3 days after which mumma understood my wavery ways and learned to get on with it. I am now nearing the fourth month mark which according to a lot of aunties is now a safe age for me to venture out of home. What they don't know is that mumma takes me out 'every' evening for a change of scenery. On some days, when dad is home early, he takes me out as well. Both of them have separate carriers for me. Mumma uses a Soul ring sling while Papa uses an ergonomic carrier from Luvlap. 

Moving on.

I kind of enjoy tummy time now, not entirely because who enjoys landing facedown on the playmat after holding their head for a few seconds. It was adventurous the first few times, but now seriously, my head hurts. But tummy times are longer than earlier and I am getting rather good at supporting my head up. I am mighty proud of that actually. Mumma keeps telling Papa that she will increase the duration of tummy time sessions as days go by. Yay. Not.

I am also starting to get the whole 'turn to the side' vibe. It's fun to look at things from that perspective. But funny thing is whenever I turn on my side, mumma anticipates that I will roll over completely and I just come back again on my back to tease her. I carry on this charade for a good 15-20 times and each time she gets super excited. Silly mommy.

I take smaller naps in the day and I sleep happier in the night. So no worries there. Rather what bugs me the most is the bath session. Massage, I get. But this whole deal with water I don't get. Why is it so liquidy and scary and I don't seem to figure it out. As long as I cannot understand it, I cannot make my peace with it. So the whole time I am massaged, I am merry. And as soon as water touches my body, I scream like a banshee.

I am gaining weight at a slow and steady rate but the doc says its healthy so I am chill. Oh and I also got my 10 week vaccinations administered during this time. Two days went by sort of okay thanks to the paracetamol drops. The thighs where the needle poked me did hurt a lot so massages and baths were suspended for two days and I enjoyed that immensely. More on my developmental milestones and vaccinations, mumma will talk in a separate post. I, now, need to get back.

Until next time,

Taa!

Lots of love,

Baby Hashtag

Baby Hashtag speaks | My second month

Things around me haven't changed much but I have. I am supposed to, right?

I just moved from my Nani-Maa's home to my own home in Kakinada last week. While I am adjusting to the new living conditions here, I do miss the cosiness of my maternal home in Hyderabad. But here, Papa Hashtag is around more and I love it. 

I am in the third month now and month#2 was a fun ride. I got another one of those wretched vaccinations. In the 6th week to be precise. The doctor did ask Mumma to give me fever medication much in advance so I hardly felt the temperature rise. But the pointy needle hurt so much more than I had signed up for. I am used to yawning, stretching and playing and unknowingly I did stretch the vaccination-administered leg a little too hard. Result? Unknowable pain. What did I do? I cried. It seemed like hours but I heard Mumma tell Nani that it was for a few minutes. Urgh, I don't think I am getting the hang of time anytime soon. 

Which is why nap times have become quite a hassle. While I nap happily and wake up fresh after what seems like hours, Mumma exclaims that I drifted to sleep for 10 minutes only. Honestly, I am exasperated that I cannot talk already and reason with her. So in its place, I choose to be cute and smile into space. Speaking of staring into space, all that staring has got me a new friend. That colourful pointy thing on the ceiling is bae. It goes round and round whenever I look at it and it is just the best. For reasons even I cannot fathom, that thing on the ceiling that everyone calls fan, is my favourite!

To Mumma's happy luck, I sleep better and longer at night, waking up only to feed and drifting off to sleep immediately after. Once in a week, I do stay up after this midnight nursing session and play with everyone before crying my lungs out and falling back to sleep. Hey hey hey I know what you are thinking! If I establish a routine so early in life, where is the fun. There's got to be some unpredictable moments right? 

Oh and did I tell you that I totally rejected the bottle of expressed milk when Mumma offered it to me. She wanted to check if I fed from the bottle directly so she could take a break and let someone else babysit me once in a while. Not so soon Mom, you are not leaving my sight for at least six months now. Even after that, I cannot guarantee you anything (cue evil laughter)

Mumma started wearing me in this ring sling from Soul Slings. It was kinda uncomfortable at first but I love how snug it is now. She also switched from Himalaya to MamaEarth for baby products. To be honest, I don't miss Himalaya at all. Mum did blog about her experience with the MamaEarth products. You can read it here:

http://hashtagdisha.blogspot.in/2017/01/review-mamaearth.html

Also, I now talk louder. There are variations in my tone so I can express different emotions like happiness, hunger, irritation, anger, pain and mirth. I leave the interpreting to the adults. My job right now is just to be cute. And I think I am getting mighty good at it.

That is all for the second month update. See you soon!

Lots of love,
Baby Hashtag

Baby Hashtag Speaks | I HATE!

Hello World! Baby Hashtag here.

I am all of 7 weeks now and I implore you to not go by my puny self. I already have a list of things I am not particularly fond of. Can you believe it, I already have a list? Read on.

1. Bath time
I am not anti-clean. I am just anti-water. For now at least. As much as I enjoy being massaged by mommy, when she takes me to bathe and when water touches me, all hell breaks loose. Hey hey, do not peg me for a naughty baby yet, pouring water takes me by surprise and at my age, I hate being surprised. When I transition from these water-thrown-with-a-mug baths to the tiny-tub-baths, I am sure I will love them. Till then, I will go about taking the present baths with all the wailing and crying as I do already.

2. Vaccination
I just had my second set of vaccines administered recently and I can comfortably say that I hate them! Agreed it is important for me and all that. But being poked by needles? Not all that fun you see.

3. Cranky toddlers
I love playing with my 7  year old Golu Maasi. She dances for me, reads to me and keeps me entertained in general. But then there are those cranky toddlers who are downright loud, cranky and irritating. Moreover, they want to touch me and poke me and scream in my ear all the time. Like I am an exhibit. How about I scream twinkle twinkle in your ears kid, how about that! 

4. Dirty clothes
I need to changed three times a day because dirty clothes just ain't me. Even a speck of dirt and I throw a sneezing fit to let mommy know that I need a sparkling new outfit. Understand this! I am photographed pretty much all the time, thanks to the many many mobile phones in the house. And if I am being clicked constantly, I need to look photo-ready all the time. Right? Right! 

5. Soiled Diapers
Go away soiled diapers. After I am done doing my business, I wail and howl and squirm because baby needs a change of diaper. A minute's delay and I take major offence, not looking at mommy at all. Please! I am not a drama queen but PRIORITIES! 

Baby Hashtag speaks | My first month

Hello World! 

Life on Earth is fun. Not on vaccination days. But otherwise, it's a fun place and fun time to be alive. It was fun in the first week, napping for 20 hours straight, waking up only to feed and then dwindling back into that merry sleep stupor again. But sleep has gotten a tad more elusive now. My day is now a collage of random naps put together because I am hungrier than usual and sleeping sound for hours at a stretch is now a foreign concept. Nevertheless, the first month has been an adventure.

The first week went by in a haze. We were at the hospital a few days and were back home where we spent the next couple of days getting used to the new setting. Mommy is a bundle of hormones and emotions around this time and I try to make up for the overwhelming feeling she has by being all cute! Papa and the entire family are around a lot as well, trying to sneak in a picture or a video when they can. At the end of 2 weeks, I have learnt to make cute noises and gurgling sounds so now I have everyone at home wound around my finger. Each minute is an anticipatory dance of when I will chime 'ga-ga-goo-goo' next. I experienced my first growth spurt at 3 weeks and I fed round-the-clock for a couple of days. I enjoyed feeling snug and close to mommy the whole time while she got very little sleep. I take a little guilty pleasure in that but I compensated with all the adorable coo-ing and make gurgling noises. 

It has basically been a great ride and we have stepped into the second month feeling pretty proud of ourselves. By the way, I howl throughout the massage and bath sessions every morning, but secretly I love them. The post-bath naps are heavenly! Since it is winter, I am mostly dressed and covered up head-to-toe. I cannot wait for it to be sunny so I can wear them cute strappy frocks! Yay! 

Today, I am successfully past the 5 week mark and I feel nothing short of a celebration coming on. Maybe I'll treat myself to an extra hour of play time. Which only implies, one less hour of nap-time and one less hour of sleep for mommy and everyone else at home. 

See you all next month<3 font="">

Lots of love,
Baby Hashtag

Surviving the first week | Baby Hashtag is here!

A lot has changed in the last month since I wrote my last post. From a mommy-to-be, I am now a mother and the feeling is taking its own sweet time to sink in. More than anything, I am staring at the tiny tot's face longer than what is considered humanly normal and that behaviour, to me, is the epitome of completely normal. 


Speaking of parenting, I have had the craziest 20 days growing up with Baby Hashtag (to the uninitiated, that is my little one's name on the blog for all intents and purposes)
Together with the husband and my family, we are cruising along just fine barring a few hiccups I faced in the start. My first week with my new baby were the toughest and you will know why. 

But first, know this.

For new parents, a few pointers. Surviving the first week with your baby is going to be a real task. The easiest part will be nursing the baby, because babies are born stronger than we think. They are designed to be tough cos they are going to be handled by new parents, who try as they might, do not win at the parenting game. Not in the first couple of weeks at least. As time passes by and you get used to the new addition to your life, the baby is already used to you and guiding you through day-to-day with an unmatched dexterity. You think you have it under control, but in reality, it is the baby who runs the show and frankly you have to be okay with that. Whenever you can, hold your baby close. Learn how to swaddle the baby. 

New moms, pay heed. You are going to be an emotional wreck. How much ever prepared you are in advance and no matter how much pre-natal yoga you did, this is going to be your reality. The sleeplessness and the raging hormones will make you weep like a wimpy kid and weep, for no solid reason, you will. My image of being the crazy bad-ass comfortably took a tumble when I was bawling my eyes out on the second day after the baby for no reason at all. Let's just say, the waterworks will be your steady companion, especially in the first month post-baby. Teach yourself on all the feeding and nursing basics and be prepared, mentally at least. Choose the paediatrician well in advance because you will have a lot of questions about your baby that only they can answer reliably. Research about a competent Lactation Consultant in your area and stay in touch with them as well, for obvious reasons. Then there is the first round of vaccinations that will be administered to the baby in the first week of her birth. Stay strong and do not crumble into a crying heap at the sight of your baby in pain. Be practical about the coming fever post-vaccination and stay sharp. Cold sponges and cluster feeding your baby helps when they are running a high temperature. 

New dads, your turn now. Your wife is in that constant state of wanting attention. And now with the baby being the centre of everyone's universe, her feeling of being unwanted has only further deepened. Be patient to her temper tantrums and hysterical crying episodes. You made it through her 9 months of mood swings, a couple more months won't add to your woes. Be kind to her, but not sympathetic. Most importantly, help change diapers and do other baby-related chores. Ease her out of the overwhelmed self she is slowly sinking into. Keep the spirits high and treat her like the queen.

Amidst the tears, hormones, sweat, midnight feeding sessions and short naps, exhaustion, there are going to be those glorious moments when you will look at your baby and all this will seem too petty. Make that feeling your biggest incentive and dive into a new day with the baby with renewed zeal and love. I am in love each day, falling for the little Baby Hashtag over and over again. And that, keeps me going.

5 thoughts I have when the baby moves!

One of the most defining moments during your pregnancy is the time you feel the baby squirm inside of you. Given that you have been living with a black and white ultrasound image of a blob of mass, five months into the pregnancy, you finally get that one proof that there is indeed something growing inside you and believe it or not, it is FREAKY!

Let me dive head first into it. I know you are judging me a little when I do not categorise my 'the baby moved' experience as beautiful. It was downright freaky. It is only then that the time has arrived for you to come to terms with the fact that you are now a manufacturing and food processing unit for another human for the next 4-5 months of your life. Of course, over time the frantic situation dissolves into a more subtle and novel experience but there is no denying all these feels you will feel when you actually feel the baby move for the first time and all the times after that!

1. Is it gas?
Yes. That was the absolute first thought and heck, it felt like it too. The soft feathery swish termed as quickening is what most mothers feel in the early months of the second trimester. Though categorised as baby movements, quickening is more like that uneasy wave of gas you feel after a heavy mexican meal. It took me while to tell the two apart *facepalm*

2. Bring it on baby
The baby loves a challenge and so do I! This is one good thing that happened in the months that followed the movements. I have not had sleepless nights because of the kicks, in fact it helped me sleep more soundly knowing there was an over-achiever in my belly. To be an expectant mother and be so laid back about it is something I am given grief over constantly but hey, why fret when the baby is as chill as you are! 

3. That is an unreachable itch!
The squirming inside your belly however results in an unbearable itch. What is worse is that this is happening inside your body and there is nothing you can do about that except for plead to the baby to go easy on you. Mine did not listen to me and only became more active. The little devil, this one! 

4. Do I sit or do I stand or do I lay down?
So what is the protocol when you feel the first set of solid kicks. That is, after you have identified them as baby kicks/movements. Do you sit down or do you stroll around a little or do you just lie down on your side. What will aid the baby's movements more? The answer to this, however, comes to you with time as you live with your baby and learn its habits. Each baby reacts to the mother and the environment in a different way and so you have got to work with the baby to find what is best for them.

5. Come on baby, put on a show! 
I have a baby who does not comply by demands. So when you tell the baby to move, there will be dead silence, like absolutely no movement but moves about nonstop when I am in the middle of a midnight snack watching Modern Family re-runs. Fact of the matter: My baby moves only when it wants to. He is a twisted one too, moves the most when the Nani (my mum) or the father (my husband) talk. 

Four months into feeling the little one move around and doing somersault pretty much every time I eat cake, I am more used to this than anything else.

I am into this constant habit of sitting on a straight chair with the laptop propped in front me as I sit down to type posts every other day. And for the past few weeks, the baby syncs its kicks and movements to the sound of me typing on the keyboard. I even get an appreciative jab or a punch after I type a particularly long non-punctuated sentence. Of course, I will miss this synchronised dance routine we share but I am ready for little 'baby hashtag' to kick me out of my sleep every night. 

Have you felt anything like this while you were pregnant with your baby or was it different? Do share your thoughts. 

Cheers! 
D.

What they don't tell you about being pregnant!

Pregnancy!
One of those things in life that have been extensively talked and written about. Every single person you meet in the course of your pregnancy will have at least one piece of advice for you because the world cares immensely for that unborn baby inside of you and they want you to be careful and loving and nurturing. There are, however, things that no one will teach you singularly. This kind of knowledge, these epiphanies, come to you with experience and living through these experiences personally. Now in the third trimester, I have read 'What to expect when you are expecting' cover to cover twice. Although the book is highly extensive and detailed, there are so many things it did not warn me about in advance.

This far along the pregnancy, I have come to realise these things!

1. Maternity Clothes are essentially pointless

Yes!All these big brand-houses making you want to buy maternity clothes as soon as you hit the second trimester have been fooling you all along. You and your 'baby bump self' will need new clothes but only if you intend to do a full-blown 7 schedule photo shoot of yourself with different clothes on. Bodies do not change overnight for most women. The change is more gradual and for most part of the pregnancy, your regular sweatpants and t-shirts will fit the bill just fine. If you still feel the need to own clothing options that were specially made for pregnant women, buy yourself a couple of pretty wrap dresses, kaftans and some bright flip-flops. That should cover you just fine and will also come in handy later.

2. Love-hate relationship with the maid

Most expecting moms will agree with me on this. There are days when your house-help just decides to skip work without prior notice and you are left blindsided. Now all you are doing is worrying yourself sick about the laundry that needs to be cleaned and the entertainment centre that needs to be dusted. You will call her and scream your lungs hoarse asking her to never show up on your door again but again your fatigue takes over the adrenaline rush you just had in that fit of rage and more often than not you find yourself calling the maid back the next minute politely asking her when she will show up next. After your husband, the maid will probably be the most important person who will provide you solace - especially in the first and the third trimester.

3. Worrying over the size of the baby-bump

Before you argue that most books and pregnancy related websites will tell you that all baby bump sizes differ, hear me out. No matter how prepared you are, your calm mental demeanour takes a real hit when your seventh month bump pretty much looks like a fifth month bump. And when you compose yourself, there will be a whole army of people you know who will unabashedly point it out to you that your bump does not look quite 'there yet'. You will do the unthinkable to prove them wrong. You will arch your spine leaning backwards so your bump protrudes to the front and you will constantly place your hands on the top of the belly to make the bump look more pronounced. Believe me, the pressure of looking the quintessential pregnant woman is so much more than anyone makes it to be.

4. Fat women actually have it easy

Contrary to popular belief, women on the heavier side (read fat) have swift pregnancies when compared to their skinnier contemporaries. I speak of this through personal experience. Since we have spent a large part of our teenage and youth manoeuvring our 'big' frames, the time when the pregnancy bump starts to grow it does not change our centre of gravity as drastically as it does for other women. Moving around with an additional 15-20 pounds seem like a no-brainer and major distress in the back and the legs are things of fiction.

5. The husband tiptoes around you, the world does not!

The world around you in general becomes a lot more vocal and judge-y when it comes to you. While your husband (and in a lot of cases, your families) tiptoe around you and speak to you with caution, others have a major flapback tendency of not doing so. Filters are forgotten and so are boundaries. So there will be tummy-touching, no matter how uncomfortable you tell them you are with it. You get the old 'stop being silly' jibe from them before they proceed to do exactly what you had forbade them to do a second ago. Advice will be hurled at you from all quarters so teach yourself some head-bopping and polite nodding to be used in such situations. Do not even try to avoid this phase cos the world is the self-appointed guardian of your unborn baby and at the end of the day, they do mean well.

No matter what is said and done, at the end of the day, the love of your husband and your families is what keeps you going. Through the sleepless nights and bouts of weird dreams that you have and through the many mood-swings and weepy mornings that you cannot get over, they live it all with you. So as long as you are pregnant, make them your world and prioritise your energy on keeping yourself and the baby healthy. Everything else will fall into place. And anything trivial will automatically fall behind. 

#ShaadiSeries : 11 Things I would have done differently in my wedding

Right now, I am 9 months into my wedding but most days I feel like it only happened yesterday. But then there are times it feels like it was years ago, what with all that is happening in life at such a fast pace. Looking back at my wedding, I do have regrets about how I planned things and how things finally went down around me.

I remembered vividly, a week into the wedding, that I completely forgot to make personal phone-calls to people I intended to invite. And then there were times during the week-long wedding celebrations when things were completely unplanned and a lot of the pre-wedding functions just happened to pass by with nothing more than a whisper. No hullabaloo, no pomp. So now, after months of making mental notes about it, I finally decided to share my take on a few things that I would have done differently in my wedding. If you are a bride-to-be or are helping out a bride in planning her wedding, in one or more ways, most of these things will apply to your scenario as well. So read on!

1. Wedding Lehenga woes

Like most potential brides, I wanted a wedding lehenga that was nothing less than a show-stopper. As soon as my wedding date was fixed, I jumped on to Pinterest and started pinning (like crazy) images of wedding outfits that were breathtaking! When you start discovering lehenga designs online, take into account the type of lehenga you want and the budget you want it in. You might want a raw silk designer lehenga or a lightweight georgette flowy lehenga from a local boutique, they all differ in prices and designs. I went lehenga shopping with a blank canvas in the mind and absolutely no idea about what I wanted. And therefore I ended up loving and buying a beautiful but heavily embroidered designer lehenga that was too huge for my overweight frame which stood stiff when worn. Considering my body type, I should have chosen a lightweight flowy lehenga but by the time I realised that, I had already made a pretty big investment in the earlier lehenga.

2. Better Photography options

Alas! This is one thing I will regret forever!!! Being a candid photographer myself, I know the importance of choosing the right photographer for the job otherwise key moments from your event get missed out and are never caught on frame. I made the biggest mistake of hiring an event organiser to handle the photography and cinematography departments. Not only did I never get to meet the photographer in person to discuss the photographs I wanted taken at the wedding, but also I did not get the key getting ready shots which I was absolutely looking forward to. Agreed that the photographers today charge a lot more than traditional photographers did back in the day, but do spare some time to find the right photographer that fit your budget. And always meet with them in person to understand their vision and work before you commit to them.

3. Planning and Delegation

This is the biggest problem people like me have. I take up all the work on my own and hate delegating work in the fear that others might end up ruining it. Turns out, I ruined a lot of things on my own because everything was too much for me to handle. Reach out to friends who live locally and ask them for help with wedding preparations. I was mostly on my own for most part of the 6 months wedding planning time and hence ended up taking all the responsibility till the last minute. Keep yourself totally work-free especially in the two weeks before the D-Day. I was running errands till a day before the wedding celebrations began and that messed up my already raging nerves.

4. Mehendi function

Believe it or not, I do not have one photograph of my Mehendi function where I look anywhere close to a bride-to-be. My hair is tied in a sock-bun, I am wearing my workout clothes and my face is lacklustre and gaunt. To top it all, I was an emotional wreck trying to allocate mehendi-waalis to the wedding guests and running hither tither before I finally sat myself down to get on with the mehendi myself. Though my camera made rounds, not one person managed to take a good photograph during the function and so those adorable pictures I had pinned of beautiful after-mehendi shots months ago never actually happened. I only blame myself.

5. Personal Invitations

I mentioned this earlier as well. I emailed and texted people inviting for the wedding, I communicated with them that I would email them the coordinates to the venue and surprise surprise, I never emailed most of them those coordinates. I also totally forgot to personally call a bunch of people in all the pre-wedding madness. Yes, I had a list prepared and everything but it totally slipped my mind to call back those numbers that were unavailable the first time. A total bummer on my part. The best thing for handing out those personal invites would have been to step on them 4 weeks before the D-day so that all fronts were covered!

6. LISTS LISTS LISTS!

I had lists. This is one thing I am very proud of actually. I made all the darned lists. But in effect those lists did not really get worked on completely as they were all just restricted to me, my mum and my aunt. I cannot emphasise enough on the importance of having help in organising the wedding. Share lists, prioritise work and let your ego disappear when you have to ask for help during your wedding preparation. Trust me, work distributed is sorted much faster. WhatsApp groups and email blasts are your best friends in this time.

7. Bridal Shower

Do not wait on your friends to organise a bridal shower or throw a surprise bachelorette party. Most times, if you do not let your friends and family know that you are expecting a celebration, chances are you will not get one. I made this misjudgement about an impending shower and having realised I wasn't going to get one, I put together a last minute dinner date with a few friends and that was it. If like me, you have the biggest expectations and love being pampered, make sure to let a couple of your closest friends know exactly that.

8. Family time

Do not be so caught up in the arrangements and preparation that you are unable to give your mum and dad some love and attention right before you scoot off into your new life. I regret not having a family fun night with my mum and my family before the wedding. I do make up for it every time I spend weekends with them after the wedding, but I did lose out on the key pre-wedding bonding time with the family.

9. Stick to the budget

If you are making a budget, you are making it for a reason. Stick to it and when you feel like going past that, pinch yourself hard and take a step back. I did not go crazy bonkers above the budget I set for myself but I did spend more than I needed to and unnecessary expenses will always come back to bite you.

10. Allocate realistic makeup time

By realistic, I do not mean hours together but an hour should be more than enough for you to get ready especially if you are in between functions. For me, it was the brief time between the Pooja and the Reception that I was given. I had 20 minutes to change into the lehenga, change jewellery and makeup. And so, in all the rushed madness, I forgot to adorn the two things I specially bought to complement my wedding outfit - a customised second dupatta and a nose ring which I bought after a painstaking search that spanned three months. Sucks, right!

11. Be the Queen and give your King all the attention

Not only did I lose out on the chance of playing queen for a month, but also I practically lived like a commoner trying to manage expectations during that time. I got so caught up trying to make everything perfect that I totally ignored my husband during a lot of them pre-wedding and wedding proceedings. Kudos to him for marrying me in spite of me being an insufferable control freak.

Listen up Brides! Let yourself go and be the queen for the entire time you are the designated bride-to-be because this time in your life will never come back! 

Until next time,
Cheers!
D