Baby Hashtag speaks | My fifth month

I am six months old. SIX MONTHS OLD.
I was so little last month! I had only just started enjoying being an infant and now suddenly I am halfway done being one. This is so not cool! I wanted to be a teensy little baby a little longer. I was basking in the attention I was being given and I did not even have to respond to get a smile or a cuddle. This is so not done. I am so mad I could throw a tantrum which I am doing already, if you got the drift of what I was saying so far.

So getting right into it. Fifth month. The fifth month of my life was oh-so-good. For oh-so-many reasons.

There were no vaccinations this month! Woohoo. This is also my first summer. And apparently it is very hot. I, for one, do not get the full blast of the heat thanks to mumma and an overly doting papa. Even if it is hot in the slightest, he will take off my pajamas the very instant. On the other hand, if it gets windy, he puts on a cap on my head at the speed of lightening. I have to say I am enjoying this immensely. So no complains there.

Towards the end of the first week of the fifth month, I had some sort of a dust/foreign hair allergy on the body which was itchy as hell. But a quick trip to the doctor's and I was calamine-d and calm. Woot! Mumma and papa are still trying to figure out what the allergy happened from with the outcome being we'll see if it happens again and compare the two events.  

Way to go guys! 

*Eyeroll*

You see, I now recognise people. So if you scare me, I cry. And I remember that you scare me. So the next time you meet you, I will recollect the scaring part and cry again. I like this recollection that my little brain is doing. It is more reinforced now.

Speaking of recollection, we took a trip to Nani's in the second week and stayed there almost three weeks. Since I spent the first two months of life at Nani's, everyone was pretty confident that I would respond well to them. But wait, when did I ever bow to popular consensus? Naturally, a tantrum follows and everyone at Nani's spent the next 48 hours trying to coax me, bribe me with gifts, shiny objects and songs. Well, I like all of those. So I warmed up to them.

Before I divulge more details about the stay at Nani's, you have got to know about my train journey to Hyderabad. So, this was was my second trip by train (the first being the time when mumma papa got me home from Hyderabad) I was all set to have a great time and honestly, I was expecting some great memories. 

Anyhoo we were booked in the 3 tier AC bogey and there began the longest day of my life. Not one, not two, there were about a dozen kids in that one bogey and all under 2 years of age. I was ready to be well behaved and sleep on time but if someone messes with my sleep, then that triggers my switch. Somewhere around midnight when a baby cried (through which I happily snoozed) his granny decided that would be the best time to switch on all the lights and bajao the rattle. Loudly. I get trying to put the baby to sleep but this is insanity. Needless to say, my slumber was disrupted and I did not sleep the whole night because, well, tantrums. We got down at the station at 7 in the morning and I dozed off in the car ride to Nani's home after which Mumma Papa and I caught up on our sleep.

I had fun at Nani's. My favourite is Golu Maasi. She talks to me like an adult but looks like a kid only so I enjoy her company. A lot of mumma's friends came over to meet me while I was Nani's home. Meenu maasi, Sushee maasi, Nandu maasi and Jo maasi and I was my indulgent charming self as always so you can safely say I wooed them. 

Nani makes this clicking noise with her tongue that drives me crazy bonkers and jumpy. I love that. I also loved the insane drives mumma took me on EVERY evening. Mumma also bought me my first books. I like to chew them. Actually, I like to chew everything. That is one of my most favourite things to do. There were a lot of mosquitoes in Hyderabad and thankfully the Mamaearth insect repellant came in handy. I like how it smells. 

I have plenty of new and different favourites now.
'Haareya' from Meri pyaari bindu is my favourite song now. And I absolutely love it when Papa sings it to me. I love dancing to 'Kaala Chashma' and 'Shape of you'
More than these songs I really enjoy the 'Animals Song' that mumma plays on her phone. 

This was also the month of firsts. I went to a shopping mall for the first time. I also nursed in a shopping mall for the first time. Mumma went crazy and took a lot of mirror selfies with me. I also fell into a fixed daily routine and lucky for mumma I fall asleep by 10 to 10.30 pm every night. So yay to that! 

I spent most of my fifth month on my stomach trying to creep further. By the end of the month, I did get on my fours for just a bit. I see a fun sixth month ahead, with lot of crawling trials and mishaps. Good luck to mumma! Oooh and I also managed to sit up unsupported, albeit only for a few seconds! Also, I will begin eating semi solid food, that's what mumma says. I am not in a hurry, to tell you the truth but like all adventures, I will not say no to this one as well. 

Y fot Yesterday | AtoZ Challenge

Dear Baby Hashtag,

Like how you are crossing milestones by the minute, your mum too crossed hers. My milestones were nowhere nearly as significant as yours but they matter, because they all led me to you. What is crazier is that everything that has happened in the past feels so fresh. Like it all happened yesterday.

It was just yesterday I had graduated from college, full of zeal and enthusiasm. I was ready to take on the world. I still did not know what I wanted out of life though. I decided to take it as it comes.

It was just yesterday that I met a man in the most unexpected of places and we became friends in the most unusual way. Normally, I would be wary of talking to anyone within days of knowing them. But the rapport with this person just hit it off and we became insane friends.

It was just yesterday when I lit my Papa's funeral fire. He was my hero, and watching him crumble broke something in me that day.

It was just yesterday, when my little family tried with all it's might to move on and recover from the loss of all the elderw in the house within a couple of years. My mother became my friend and my uncle and aunt, my heroes.

It was just yesterday, when my uncle (whom now I call Bhai) took it upon himself to get me married to the man I love. He waded through every obstacle and made sure I got there in the end.

It was only yesterday, when I first woke up in my new home post marriage. I was so overwhelmed and oh so excited. I misses home too.

It was only yesterday when we first that result tested positive. Everyone was so happy.

Nine months post that day, you were born, little one. It's still so fresh. Feels like it was all happening yesterday.

No matter how new everything felt to me, you are growing at a rate that has me alarmed. Now that I remember, you rolled over for the first time over a month ago but silly me, to think it was only yesterday.  Oh, how I will miss tending to your newborn self. As much as I am excited to see you grow, I somehow want to relive all our yesterdays with you.

Please don't grow up so fast.

Love,
Mumma Hashtag

V for Virtues and Vices | AtoZ Challenge

Dear Baby Hashtag,

Today, I need to tell you something important. I don't want to sound preachy, yet somewhere in the narrative I will end up sounding like one so please bear with me. I am taking a different approach today. I am not going to thankful or emotional or unbelievably sappy. I will be real with you.

Let's talk Virtues and Vices.

There is black and there is white. Two ends of the same thing. Two sides of a coin. And just like that, a person also has two character traits to their personality​. One is the virtuous side, the other which indulges in vices.

Be honest. An age old saying reads that "honesty is the best policy" and rightly so. But learn to be honest with caution. Plain honesty bordering on insult does not go down well with a lot of people and more often than not we have to think about protecting other's feelings​. To that end, also learn to be caring. Be kind and a caregiver. Don't expect everyone to return the favour because that is unreal. I will, however, not force you to share. If there is something very dear to me and I am asked to share it, I might choose not to. And the same rules applies to you little one. I will ask you once, if you can find it in your heart to share the toy/food/play area and I know in my heart that you will say yes most of the times. On those times, when you do not want to share, I will not force you into it but I want you to reason the same with me.

Be a people person but try and avoid being vulnerable. Fundamentally, people are calculative and I want you to be wary  before you warm up to them. Study all you want and play as much. Take interest in everything you would want to do in your academic life because those are your golden years. Take chances and experiment but make sure you consult us before taking a decision. Your parents know quite a bit about everything and we will be sure to help you make the choices. When you need an ear, turn to me. Or better yet, your father. He is extremely cool and rest assured that he will break down any complication you think you are suffering from in life.

Being a teenager and then a young adult are going to be the most difficult things. But always know, your mum and dad are right behind you. I don't claim to be your friend because I will need to be a parent too a lot of times over the course of you growing up but you will find in me a very relaxed mum and in your father, a very cool chilled out papa.

As much as I would like you to be virtuous all the time, I know it is humanly impossible to be one. I'm afraid you will be attracted to the vices more than the virtues cos they are easy to fall into and oh-so-attractive. I will not come in your way if you want to have these 'life experiences' but I trust you to be of sound mind and do not over indulge in the name of life experiences. Learn, teach and be aware of everything that will come your way. I am not scaring you off life, merely preparing you for it. No matter how hard I try, I cannot hold you in the confines of the home all the time. I would be raising a socially awkward kid in that case. I'd rather you be a charmer and wade your way through life with your head held high and a glorious smile accross your face.

Maybe in the next letter, I will take a lighter approach and let you in on some personal jokes. For this once, I'm glad we talked about what we did.

Lots of love,
Mumma Hashtag

T for Thank you | AtoZ Challenge

Dear Baby Hashtag,
Your sappy mom is back with another letter to you and as much as I would like to try to be casual in my letters to you, I find myself getting emotional at some point in the narrative.

Today, I want to thank you. There are a million reasons I need to thank you. This very instant, I want to thank you for taking a longer nap so your mommy could nap a little longer after finishing her chores. But this is not it. There are so many reasons more.

When we first found out we were pregnant, your father and I, we were ecstatic. Beyond ourselves really. Waiting for nine months so that I could finally see you seemed like too long a time. While everyone was convinced that I was going to have a boy, your father believed almost blindly that we would be having a girl. And he was right. Thank you for being a daddy's girl already.

I have to be honest with you at this point. A lot of mothers feel boundless joy and happiness when they first see their child. Me? Not so much. I barely reacted when the doctor told me through my surgery that it was a girl. It was a full 24 hours later that it hit me, that you were here. A person. A life I was going to nurture and protect from then on. I knew my life had changed. And change, it did. Thank you for bringing about the most happy change in our lives.

From the time you were a newborn, you did not conform to any general baby notions. You did you. You fed well, you slept through the night, you were (and still are) a no tantrum child. Thank you for that.

You are everything we dreamed of, and so much more. You surprise us everyday and make us want to be better people. We are already discussing meal plans and family rituals for when you grow up, we want to be able to follow those so we can be a wholesome family. Thank you for giving us a purpose and making us a family. A unit.

You have brought joy to SO MANY people. Your father's and mine, most of all. With just one smile, you can shift the axis on which our world revolves. And if I could, I would move mountains for you. Thank you little one.

Lots of love to you,

Mumma Hashtag

P for Pandemonium | AtoZ Challenge

Dear Baby Hashtag,

When you grow up, and grow up you will, take time and appreciate the pandemonium. You have a mother who likes order. When I put you down for a nap, for that precious one hour when everyone advises me to sleep, I choose to clean and arrange the laundry. I catch up on pending work or I make lists unto lists of work that needs to be taken care of. I know the laundry pile is going to come back and there is nothing I can do about that. But the momentary order I extract out of the chaos that our day usually is, that gives me solace.

There's a whole bunch of people out there advising me to let the work be. That in the moment in which I chose to wash the laundry or do the dishes, I let a milestone of your development pass by. And you know what, that is okay. I would rather teach you to be organised for when you look at me, you will learn yourself. I would rather prefer that you learn how a house becomes a home when we nurture it, clean it and treasure it.

But I am also afraid. That in all the discipline and in the process of learning to be orderly, you might not appreciate the chaos. You spend a lot of your time with me and you will form a lot of your core beliefs based on what I impart to you. And so, I am a little afraid that you will not have fun in life as I would like you to have.

Then I look at your father. He is all that I am not. He lives in the moment and appreciates chaos, knows the real meaning behind it. He loves you and adores you and is already a fabulous parent. Learn his frivolity. Be the life of a party or a social gathering like how he is. Make everyone laugh and make everyone feel included. And most important of all, learn from him the art of sustaining and embracing the pandemonium.

I would want nothing but the best for you. The best of both worlds. And the best versions of the two parents you have.

Lots of love,
Mumma Hashtag

Bring back in trend, the lost art of spelling correctly!

I missed publishing this post on Tuesday because it was my birthday and I was in an overly indulgent mood. So I quit working, planning or any activity in general and parked myself on the sofa with my phone and the television. Like I promised last week, I am continuing this week with talking about (and in this case, criticising) the hottest trend on the block. New Generation Grammar-less language.

First there was SMS. With it came a frightening trend. SMS lingo! Right became r8, hate became h8, happy brithday god bless you became 'hbd gbu'. At the time, this certain transition may have seemed the most logical thing to do as the keypads were alphanumeric and typing was, honestly, a pain in the ass. But what excuse does this generation have for typing words and making grammatical errors when there is spellcheck and a Qwerty keypad. What is worse that these very people talk in the same language they text in which is a disgrace. I have had younger people, meaning kids younger than me, come to me and blurt out incoherent sentences like 'I got swag bruh!'..... I mean, who talks like that. You text using this language and vocabulary because 1) in a textual exchange no one gets to hear you being an ass and 2) for some reason, it is cool to type like this.

I beg to differ.

Both in person and virtually, if someone uses SWAG in a sound conversation, I will legit punch them in the face. I cringe when someone types HBD to wish me on my birthday. Seriously, what good comes off those two seconds that you saved by not typing the two word HAPPY BIRTHDAY phrase. Then there are those who still have not left behind the alphanumeric keypad. Thanks to their immense and wide mental prowess, they replace the word TO with 2, the letter O with a zero and GREAT with gr8. The worst kind of people are the ones who actually say LOL instead of the conventional ha-ha. Oh wait, how do I forget the largest congregation of vocabulary defaulters! Those who have forgotten how to spell basic words like 'like' and 'this'.

Riddle me this, in this era of super intelligent computers and smart phones, how does one even fall prey to such unabashed foolishness. Why? To sound cool? Or to be a peer favourite. News flash!!! Talking or texting like this does not make anyone sound cooler. In fact, you are being judged heavily. People like me who like their sentences framed correctly with the least grammatical errors possible: we will not take you seriously. And with the internet being a wide open stage, two years down the line when you are applying for your dream job at a top firm, your poorly word-constructed tweets from the past will come biting you in the backside. So there is that.

Let me give you a simple example.
When we, grammar lovers, read a sentence that goes:

''I am lyk dis nly, luv me 0r h8 me, dis is mah lyf''

In our minds, it gets translated to:

''F*** ***!"

Don't complain later that no one tried to warn you about this.

P.S. I understand that there is a possibility that there may be grammatical errors in this post. Feel free to let me know in the comments section. I will not hate you. I swear. It will only make me like you more.

Breathe, Intolerants. Breathe.

This is not a rant about how people are going ballistic over other people who say that India is transforming into an intolerant state. What is happening all across the news channels, facebook, whatsapp and twitter is a show of intolerance at a much deeper level. Life has come quite the full circle for us citizens. And because internet has a permanent memory, one cannot speak or post anything without the fear of scrutiny of their past activity on social media with a fine tooth comb. The most outrageous part is that you do not even have to be a celebrity to be put to criticism. Internet trolls can get you for what you are. Online harassment and shaming is far more deep rooted to be discussed loosely here, but this is where it begins - the word of the year - Intolerance

Spare me the honour of being a leftist or a rightist or an elitist or an exorcist for posting this at a time when the social media is going bonkers over Aamir Khan. I got no feelings for the man, like I got no reaction for Anupam Kher being pro-Modi. Let me correct that, I have a reaction alright, but it is not facebook-worthy. Every single time, a 'celebrity' has a brain-fart, I want to be able to just shrug over their lack of common sense, hurl an abuse or two and go back to doing whatever unproductive procrastinating I was doing prior to that. 

Don't get me wrong, I do care about my country. I watched all the Satyameva Jayate episodes, I know the problems India is facing. More recently I have made myself aware to the many more problems courtesy of On Air with AIB. I know for a fact that if I had to deal with these said problems, I will have to get my face off of that smartphone and look around, talk to people and stuff and work maybe. 

The point is : Not everything needs to be posted on facebook. An occasional jibe, fine, understandable. But Facebook is not twitter where you post daily updates about who you think is a prize-a**

You also do not have to tweet about every little thing that happens across the country, unless you are a stand-up comic. I harbour a bias towards them, for they make twitter tolerable. And unless you are a Kardashian whose opinions people don't really take seriously, quit harbouring angst, hatred and disgust on social media platforms. You may be starting a chain of reactions that will poison many a ears. 

If you have a strong reaction, sit around the dinner table with your family and discuss it to get more perspectives to it. And when you have an informed opinion, more factual and resilient, be my guest and post it on your wall. Try and stop being offensive in communal/religious/political ways, we have enough goons trying to ruin day-to-day with things these. Spread kindness and virtue and some good humour. Lord knows we all have forgotten to laugh.

If you are doing this trolling madness for that notifications tab to blip continuously, please share pictures. Of your wife, your baby, your weekend escapades to Khandala or your new iphone. Guaranteed likes. That should keep you happy and content.

The point of interacting with your friends and acquaintances on the social media was primarily to be 'social' without the hassle of meeting up with them daily. To basically keep in touch. Don't be that person who has a troll-ish retort to every morning to a news headline. We have enough creeps all over the internet, don't be one of them.

I am probably sounding preachy right about now, so I will stop.  

Cheers,

D

The Phone Call

To me, there is something very empowering about making a call and striking a conversation. It is an exhilarating experience on occasions when the person on the other end is an old dear friend or they are someone you just randomly happened to phone the first time because of some work. I have had many a delightful conversations in the past and I have consistently noticed that a phone call ranging from normal/average to happy have significant mood altering results on me. All of them, positive.

So here is my pattern. Once every couple of months, I dedicate an entire evening calling estranged friends and people I have lost touch with. It is not a pattern or a fixed list of people, these are the people I am randomly missing that day. And when I call, apprehension-free, I am triggering a mood alteration sequence in all those people I am talking to. That gives me a lot of power (and responsibility) and makes this an exciting task. In this entire process, I am also reconnecting with myself from the past and those people I talk to. In simple words if I am happy, then the person I am calling sort of gets infected by my happy bug and alters their mood, even if it is just for a brief period. 

Not just me, I think once in a while everyone should rise above WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter and call them peeps whose voice you probably would have forgotten because you have been hitting as many Vevo channels on Youtube as can be possible. Flex your fingers, pick up the phone and make that call. And when you call, remember these things:

• Do not be apologetic. You may be calling after ages but you are the one calling right now. You win! The only exceptions to this rule are your parents. Call them, call them now. And apologise for being such a slob and not calling them everyday.
• Slang is your friend, if it is your bud or your sibling on the other side of the call. Discretion is advised, however.
• Immediately disconnect when the conversation has steered to a place where ",,,and, what else?" was spoken out loud for the third time. Marks of a conversation that has gone redundant and is not fun anymore. Think twice about calling this person again the next time.
• For once, DON'T worry about the bill.
• Reminisce about the past. Plan future tasks to take up together. Discuss the present.
• Building on the previous point, never discuss the weather for more than a 20 seconds. 
• Don't be egotistical. It is afterall just a phone call. Don't compare notes about who called whom last, serves no purpose.
• Walk. Might as well get some exercise while you are at it. 
• Write down all your important phone numbers in a planner or a telephone book. You have no idea how amazing it feels to flip through the pages of a phonebook and locate a number to dial it.

There there! Wasn't that easy?

Go on ahead, make that phonecall and start the happy mood chain reaction. When you hear the other person smile through the conversation, it will be worth it! 

Cheers! 

D

I think this is an Open Letter to the trolls on the internet

I am a social media junkie. I think that is what you call people who have user accounts on all popular social networking websites.

Facebook. Check

Twitter. Check

Pinterest. Check

Instagram. Check

Quora. Check

Tumblr. Check

Snapchat. Check

Google Plus. Ermmm Check *oops*

And I am fairly consistent with checking them as most of my work happens on these platforms. One common trend I notice in most of these interactive networks is the amount of cynicism that people resort to. Facebook and Twitter in particular. It is a convenient trait to point out, isn't it. Let me give you a simple example.

The US Supreme Court ruled in favour of marriage equality and the whole world went online to express what they felt about it. The first 6 hours after the ruling were fairly black and white. There were people jubilant and there were people who thought this was unnatural. Personal opinions. And I respect that. A couple of hours into this, the cynicism set in. There were trolls and there were scores of them. There were remarks ranging from "marzi se shaadi toh karke dikhao" to "amrikaa ki baato pe khush hokar rainbow DP lagaane waalo, janta tumhe maaf nai karegi". Okay, I agree that the rainbow filter on facebook was a stretch but whoever did it, only did it because they saw it as their personal choice. If you like it, then facebook gives you the option to 'like' it and if you don't, communicate it to the person directly if they are your close friend. Here, let me show you how:

XYZ just changed their profile picture *adds rainbow filter*

You think it is laughable becuase, you know, amrikaa and shizz.

You (to XYZ) : "Dude, really?! Colourful profile picture?!"

XYZ : "Why! What's wrong?"

You : "Tu gay hain kya?!"

XYZ : "Have you lost it?! Its to support LGBT shaadi in amrikaa"

You : "Why would YOU give a scoot about what amrikaa is doing with shaadi equality and all?"

XYZ : "Ainvayi, meri marzi. Plus I look super cool with that filter. I think I should instagram it also. Anyway everyone will just pull it down in a couple of days, just like the whole frenzy will die down eventually."

That is the whole point. Know the reason. It could be nothing complicated or weird. Some people may well be following herd mentality here and some sincerely voicing their opinion. The whole filter applying charade was the heat of the moment, the immediate reaction that people made to make sure they expressed themselves about how they felt. I did it too. I thought it was a cool thing, what happened in America. Sure, marriage equality has been a achieved in a lot of countries before this. But none of them have the stature of USA in world politics, and that cannot be denied. I will lay the political debate circling around this issue to rest for now (probably deal with it later, in another post). 

My plea goes out to every individual in person, there are many people out there who are sensitive to a cause/issue, who are probably dealing with their own identities or of someone they are really close to, but they do not want to be directly vocal about it and hence choose indirect channels to express an emotion. If you think being cynical towards a cause is hilarious, please be kind with the jokes you make, otherwise inadvertently you end up hurting a major sentiment. 

As I sit here and type whilst preaching 'be good, do good' to internet dwellers, I also realise that I am stepping over that cynicism line. Poking fun at them. Well I do so in good spirit and believe it or not, I do believe that social media websites can be a colourful fun place to be on. Fun and wit must always be welcome but choose the butts of your jokes wisely. Politicians make good joke material, and arnab goswami, and KRK. There are so many people and things we can collectively make fun of, why pick on peeps in your friends and followers list. 

Disclaimer : Please do not point out that stand-up comics make fun of people, situations and causes randomly. That is their job plus you pay to go watch them do it and laugh when they do it. Ofcourse you don't think they are serious, do you!