I think this is an Open Letter to the trolls on the internet

I am a social media junkie. I think that is what you call people who have user accounts on all popular social networking websites.

Facebook. Check

Twitter. Check

Pinterest. Check

Instagram. Check

Quora. Check

Tumblr. Check

Snapchat. Check

Google Plus. Ermmm Check *oops*

And I am fairly consistent with checking them as most of my work happens on these platforms. One common trend I notice in most of these interactive networks is the amount of cynicism that people resort to. Facebook and Twitter in particular. It is a convenient trait to point out, isn't it. Let me give you a simple example.

The US Supreme Court ruled in favour of marriage equality and the whole world went online to express what they felt about it. The first 6 hours after the ruling were fairly black and white. There were people jubilant and there were people who thought this was unnatural. Personal opinions. And I respect that. A couple of hours into this, the cynicism set in. There were trolls and there were scores of them. There were remarks ranging from "marzi se shaadi toh karke dikhao" to "amrikaa ki baato pe khush hokar rainbow DP lagaane waalo, janta tumhe maaf nai karegi". Okay, I agree that the rainbow filter on facebook was a stretch but whoever did it, only did it because they saw it as their personal choice. If you like it, then facebook gives you the option to 'like' it and if you don't, communicate it to the person directly if they are your close friend. Here, let me show you how:

XYZ just changed their profile picture *adds rainbow filter*

You think it is laughable becuase, you know, amrikaa and shizz.

You (to XYZ) : "Dude, really?! Colourful profile picture?!"

XYZ : "Why! What's wrong?"

You : "Tu gay hain kya?!"

XYZ : "Have you lost it?! Its to support LGBT shaadi in amrikaa"

You : "Why would YOU give a scoot about what amrikaa is doing with shaadi equality and all?"

XYZ : "Ainvayi, meri marzi. Plus I look super cool with that filter. I think I should instagram it also. Anyway everyone will just pull it down in a couple of days, just like the whole frenzy will die down eventually."

That is the whole point. Know the reason. It could be nothing complicated or weird. Some people may well be following herd mentality here and some sincerely voicing their opinion. The whole filter applying charade was the heat of the moment, the immediate reaction that people made to make sure they expressed themselves about how they felt. I did it too. I thought it was a cool thing, what happened in America. Sure, marriage equality has been a achieved in a lot of countries before this. But none of them have the stature of USA in world politics, and that cannot be denied. I will lay the political debate circling around this issue to rest for now (probably deal with it later, in another post). 

My plea goes out to every individual in person, there are many people out there who are sensitive to a cause/issue, who are probably dealing with their own identities or of someone they are really close to, but they do not want to be directly vocal about it and hence choose indirect channels to express an emotion. If you think being cynical towards a cause is hilarious, please be kind with the jokes you make, otherwise inadvertently you end up hurting a major sentiment. 

As I sit here and type whilst preaching 'be good, do good' to internet dwellers, I also realise that I am stepping over that cynicism line. Poking fun at them. Well I do so in good spirit and believe it or not, I do believe that social media websites can be a colourful fun place to be on. Fun and wit must always be welcome but choose the butts of your jokes wisely. Politicians make good joke material, and arnab goswami, and KRK. There are so many people and things we can collectively make fun of, why pick on peeps in your friends and followers list. 

Disclaimer : Please do not point out that stand-up comics make fun of people, situations and causes randomly. That is their job plus you pay to go watch them do it and laugh when they do it. Ofcourse you don't think they are serious, do you!

The Boho Spirit

Bohemian!

Of late, the word has been overheard a lot more than usual. It is well established as a fashion trend which signifies colour, fringes, exotic patterns, exuberance and free spirits. But a Boho spirit is much more than a colourful palette. It is a chosen way of life and to understand Bohemianism properly, it is essential to understand the basic idea behind the whole ideology.

Bohemianism can be ordinarily put as a simple and nomadic lifestyle.The people who adopt this culture/lifestyle usually live a near-poor life of no worry and travel a lot in pursuit of art or culture. And it is all by choice. It is the vagabond and the gypsy style of their life that leads them on to adorn the garb and the ways of all the colourful people they meet on their journey. Hence the wayward nature of how they dress, decorate their homes and lead their lives. Their core beliefs are freedom, truth, love and art. 

In terms of Fashion and Lifestyle, the Boho Chic trend has caught on in the popular culture in ways unimaginable. Here are a few inspirations I could think of off the top of my head.

1) Home Decor inspiration

A caravan tent in place of a conventional patio in the garden. How happy and perfect is that! 

Being boho chic is also being super utilitarian. Here is a perfect example! Using a dusted up ladder as an organiser efficiently.

A dreamcatcher on a pillowcase!

This is supercool at so many levels! 

2) Jewellery inspiration

Exaggerated and mismatched neckpieces define bohemian style.

Silver coin necklaces are the new rage! 

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3) Clothing inspiration

Them sleeves! 

4) Hair inspiration

Hair accessories and Wavy locks

Flower tiaras and wreaths

Braids

5) Bags inspiration

Satchels

6) Footwear inspiration

7) Body Art inspiration

Moving forward.

The entire boho lifestyle belief in one sentence.

The cartilage piercings that are spot on! 

Since the Bohemian soul is all about colour and vibrancy, they can inspire one in a lot more ways. For me, the boho soul is all about heavy accessorising, layering my outfits and having a wild crazy energy for life. Cos HECK, that is what being 'Boho Chic' should finally mean, shouldn't it!

Until next time,

Love,

D!

#ExplorerSeries Travelogues : Club Mahindra Pondicherry

Everybody dreams travel dreams. Some want to do it alone and for some it is a group activity. Some travel to connect to their inner selves and some travel to escape. To each, their own. As much as I would like to travel places all the time, work hinders all escapades and so small vacays are the best way out.

Mini Vacations are my sweet spot and I can never say no to a trip that breaks the monotony of day to day. Just recently we decided to visit Pondicherry in Tamil Nadu despite the blistering heat. Having heard rave reviews about the Club Mahindra Big Beach Resort, we decided we needed to check them out ourselves. We invested in a weekend and scooted off for a one day detour at the beach resort. And boy, were we dazzled! This is what we were greeted with....

A breathtaking view from the lobby at the Club Mahindra Big Beach Resort in Pondicherry.

The ground staff and the management were warm and cordial. This is just a part of the elaborate setup they do to welcome the guests at the resort.

Flora!

We swiftly checked into our rooms and retired for a relaxed day. We needed to rest because we planned on hitting the private beach at the resort before the sun rose. We were up at 5 am and off we marched to the beach. With my family and my camera tagging along, I jogged along to the shore only to be greeted with clear skies and the bluest sea.

The family chilling by the resort's private beach.

The dirt bike ride on the shore is an added bonus for beach newbies

My washed away tanned feet!

The Resort also has offers a variety of activities for the guests at their clubhouse and arranges entertainment events and galas every night. There's Zorbing and Xbox and Paintball and a whole lot of things that you can indulge in if you are not on the beach too long! My personal favourite is the dirt bike ride across the beach shore. Exhilarating experience. We also bumped into the lovely Navi Parihar in the lobby who was super sweet while we badgered her on about how wonderful Tanu weds Manu Returns was. Honestly, I dont know how actors do it, stay calm and take in all the hyperactivity from their audience and fans. Anyway, back to the vacay!!!!

Look who we bumped into! Navni Parihar!

While the resort is about 30 kilometres away from the main city, we did get a couple of hours to venture out into the city and explore. Sadly, we could not get to Auroville because we had very little time and we had to get back to the resort within a couple of hours. However, our hunger led us to a hotel called Mayura which served the yummiest dosas. The Highlight? This 4 footer dosa that invited tourists from neighbouring tables over to ours only so that they could click a picture and send it to their friends and family on WhatsApp. Needless to say, it was delish!

The 4 feet Family Dosa at Mayura in Pondicherry city!

Back at the resort, we spent a couple of hours talking and being lazy under the starry sky and listening to the sea at a distance. 

Sunset at the resort.

Next day, we were packed and set to leave for Chennai and back to pavilion but we were taking back a lot of memories and telling each other the whole time that Mini vacations are the best. Already making plans for another vacation!

We are definitely going back again soon! Highly recommended! 

If you do get a chance, do visit the resort. It is totally worth your while.

That is all for my short Pondicherry vacay. Do tell me your favourite vacation memory :)

Until next time,
Cheers,
D!

Love

Love is exhausting. Love is rejeuvenating.
Love is contradictory.
Love is demanding and irrational.
It is about having to let go of a fortune to gain that one person's willing attention.
Love makes. Love breaks.
It is the strongest magnetic pull there is.
It craves attention, it gives attention.
It wants you to be happy.
Love is to keep the significant other happy, at your own expense.
Love is giving up on that last drop of water for them.
Even if its under the parched sun.
Love builds. Love destroys. It is a savage.
It makes one gentler than ever.
Love blinds. It fogs minds.
Love is also clarity.
Love is kind. It is jealous.
Love is lust. Love is a hermit.
It is the devil. And it is the saint.
Love is all.
All is love.

Dear PK haters

WhatsApp is basically killing my patience. I'll be more specific. WhatsApp groups in particular are contributing a great deal in ruining my perfectly good mornings. The murder of patience began the day families decided that privacy was basically dead with 'Good Morning' and 'Good Night' was anywhere between 5 a.m and 11.30 p.m. 

Then came the revolutionary types. Armchair revolutionaries. The ones who shared 'Kraantikari' posts in these groups hoping to spark a social change. Many issues have fallen prey to this phenomenon. The NaMo craze and politics in the lead. Next came religion. In a country that houses peacefully(?) around 330 million Gods, you would think people's religious tolerance would be sky high. 

Alas!

It is these WhatsApp groupees that make me sick today. And the reason is foolish and dark, both at the same time. The latest in the group forward is about how PK is an anti-hindu propagating movie with a script that indicates tolerance towards all other religions. Then the Indian girl - Pakistani boy love story angle is being majorly frowned upon. 

A little something about PK here:

PK is the story about PK's journey to find an object that is infinitely precious to him and is the only way he can get home. On his quest, he is introduced to the idea that 'Bhagwaan' can only help him. He pleads to all Gods, not knowing which religion to appeal to since he had no idea of his religious allegiance as he was not branded physically by any mark of a particular religion. His journey is honest and his prayers are heartfelt. The observations PK makes about religion, God-men and humanity in general are veracious. Objective, but definitely not baseless.

When an Indian Girl falls for a Pakistani Boy after her initial hesitation in associating with him after finding out about his home country, the filmmaker is trying to bring across a point that her heart overruled her head. When PK rolled on the floor of a temple or took part in the Moharram procession, the filmmaker is depicting his character's relentless faith in all the religions. There is not one instance in the movie where God as a supreme being is questioned. What is brought to question is how God-men cash on people's blind faith and fear to craft a niche profit making business for themselves. In the movie, the plot revolves around a God-man who calls himself the representative of a popular Hindu God. The writers drafted the story that best suited the idea that took shape in their head. To brand it as communal and being opposed to only a single religious group is cuckoo talk.

What is baffling is that the people giving wind to this controversy are the people I know personally. This is communal. It plants the seed of silent hatred in the minds of people who usually do not create opinions every time they watch a movie.       

My point here is that movies are the tools of independent creative expression. And to top it all, PK is a lovely sweet movie with a simple yet strong message. Just let it be! Please do not kill it's buzz, not just yet. 

This is 2014 people, we are fighting on a crowded planet for survival. It does not take a lot to coexist and live happily. I admit you are a religious person, be fair and non-violent and spread happiness. Religion is for faith, happiness and observance. It is about convenience, not violence and hatred.

And next time you walk out of a movie theatre, leave the negativity behind and take back with you all that is positive and good.  

Cheers!

Be Human

What I don't understand is how can an act of hatred be considered Godly or an act committed in His veneration!

How do you look the children in the eye and kill them? Not one, not two but a 130+ little innocent children. They are the future, these children. How do you destroy your future and make it seem like an act of religious observance.

This is bigotry. Terrorism in its most heinous form.

When terrorism killed children before this, it usually was part of a larger incident. An unfortunate incident that targeted other human beings, older human beings. I do not comply with any pattern of killing people and endorse it as okay but I want to point out why this time this attack makes more noise and why this attack concerns me more than other attacks that have happened in the past.

Listen to me terrorists,

I don't see the point of your 'war'. Your cause is lost on me. When you kill, the generic God sheds a tear. He teaches humanity and love and co-existence. 

Listen Indians and Pakistanis,

This is not an isolated incident and so it will not be dealt with in isolation. There will be anger. But the show of solidarity, love and understanding that was shown with the hashtag #IndiaWithPakistan in the last 24 hours makes me sigh. Did we really need an incident so heart-wrenching to bring it to the fore? But let this be the first and the last time something like this happens. Keep the flame alive and let it burn you. Unite to punish the forces that killed our children. Create a force so strong that the thought of harming people and children especially must instill fear in these terrorists. 

Lets make a better world. 

Peace. 

Recuperation

Diwali is not Diwali anymore.

It is a struggle for normalcy. A struggle for coherence.

It is a dark endless pit of dismay. Of possibilities too.

This used to be my Grandmum's and Dad's favourite festival, they wanted the family to stick together atleast during the festive week. Dad usually was the one who made it happen. My most fond memory of him is of an over enthusiastic man going on a crazy-ass shopping spree at a mall with his whole extended family let loose. He gave! Happiness and gifts and a ridiculously optimistic fervour. What Dad could not attain was permanency in stature and well-being. It never was the eternal Diwali he had wanted. This loss of permanency triggered his weak heart and two years living a life he most dreaded, he passed away, suddenly but peacefully. He is survived by his wife, my mother, whose life is a constant struggle for survival. And she wades through, donning a brave face.

We appreciate hard work a tad bit more, mother, uncle, aunt and I. We fight stigmas, together. We heal each other with words, deeds and gestures. We learn new strange things everyday. And that, desertion by people is imminent, both by the dead and the living. We cry over loss a little more, now that reality sinks in harder than before but we also laugh a little more heartily because we know this is the time to live!    

I do not know if it is the fear of an eternal night or the promise of a new dawn, hope is all that we live by. No matter how bleak it is today, Recuperation is in place. 

And Dad (I know you are reading this, because I am pretty darn sure heaven has free unlimited WiFi),

To tell you that I miss you is a solid understatement, it is like a void. But you are finally celebrating your favourite time of the year with your parents, I know you are happy. We are good, a little broken, but mostly good. I am taking newer decisions, better decisions hopefully. If there is something you do not approve of, send me a sign, Make a cloud shaped like a NO or something. But since I am your daughter, doing stupid things is not really possible. Mum's good too, you know what's troubling her, FIX IT please! Nandu, Soni and Golu say Hi to your picture every morning. Say hello to Baiji and Dadosa from us, and be well, all of you! Be our angels. 

Miss you, Bye.

An Honest 10 Books list

Everyone is going high-end literature buff with this task of listing their favourite ten books, or atleast that is what it seems to me. Books entered my life much later than usual, at the age of 19 when I read my first full fledged novel/book. But in my life so far, I have lived with academics and being a civil services aspirant. So now, I have two lists. The first one is from my pretentious self, the second list is from my nerdy self. These are the books that remain with me even today:

(in no particular order)

LIST#1

1) The Harry Potter series by J.K.Rowling

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban in particular, because it was the first book I EVER read.

2) The Shiva Trilogy by Amish

Shiva is my favourite mythological character and Indus Valley Civilization is my favourite period of study in History. I had to love the series.

3) The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown

The book blew my mind. I finally realised that I had an inclination for conspiracy novels.

4) Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

This book took me a month to finish but it was nothing less than magic.

5) Windmills of the Gods by Sidney Sheldon

Love for the book, more love for the genre

6) Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding

Bridget is basically me.

7) Lord of the Rings by J.R.R.Tolkein

Transported.

8) Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L.James

For Christian Grey. Also, it is Beyonce certified.

9) White Mughals by William Dalrymple

Grand. Epic.

10) Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach

"Do you want to fly so much that you will forgive the Flock, and learn, and go back to them one day and work to help them know?"

LIST#2

1) A Cultural History of India - A.L.Basham

2) Oxford Disctionary of World History

3) Quantitative Aptitude - Dr.R.S.Aggarwal

4) NCERT Textbooks

5) Machiavelli's Prince

6) Medieval India - Satish Chandra

7) India's Struggle for Independence - Bipin Chandra

8) Civil Service Chronicle

9) Early History of India - Romila Thapar

10) Tinkle

I have a few books on the waitlist waiting to be read:

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Empire of the Mughals by Alex Rutherford, Life of Pi by Yann Martel, Discourses by Karl Marx, Chanakya's Chant by Ashwin Sanghi, Love in the time of Cholera by Garcia Gabriel Marquez and The Great Gatsby by F.Scott Fitzgerald.

Do I need to add more to my to-read list? I'd love some suggestions! 

Lost a parent. Found my God.

AGNOSTIC  /aɡˈnɒstɪk 

  

/
A person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God.

I have been an agnostic for as long as I can remember. Coming from a family of staunch believers in divinity, I was the oddity. None of the relatives understood what I was. Honestly, I did not see sense myself. Praying was a matter of convenience, remembering a higher power happened when I was in trouble and needed an out.

And then last week, I lost my father to an unexpected cardiac arrest. Having lost my grandmother just four months back had left a rather lasting impression on me and I began to treat death as any other 'big' moment in one's life. Papa suffered from a long-standing heart condition. I made myself believe that his passing away had relieved him from years of pain and suffering. I also told myself that no matter what happened, I still had mum to be with and look after. I went about the charades gracefully, fulfilling the duties that were expected of me. Being the only child, mum insisted I light Papa's funeral pyre. Unorthodox as it may be to everyone, it happened and mum's wish stood honoured. The priest argued that women were weak of heart to handle the sight of a dead body, let alone the body being their father's. It was orthodox-talk for 'keep the women out!' 

I stood near Papa's head, trying to take it all in, when it hit me. A wave of sheer realisation. This will be the last I see of him. Ever. 

Then there was His voice in the back of my head. 

Him, singing a song.

"Kya se kya ho gaya...."

Because that is what he would do. 

Papa sang songs to commemorate events, big or small. He did that all the time. He used to say that it was his way of making a memory that lasted way longer than just a few random seconds. In that eternal moment I knew how I was going to remember him for the rest of my life. I was going to make him a part of every memory I make thereafter, big or small. From that moment on, I gained a God. Watching over me. Loving me. Letting me make mistakes. Smiling down at me while I teach mum how to pick a perfect song for every emotion. 

Papa was an amazing man. His sense of humour is as legendary as his anger and self-respect. No man could ever lead a family out of non-entity the way he did. He taught me how to be benevolent by just being himself. We had our share of fights as well because he raised a daughter who would not give up without making herself heard. He believed that people were essentially good and helpful. He may not have necessarily turned me into a believer but I am not a skeptic anymore, because my father is my angel. 

Dealing with the loss of a loved one, let alone a parent, is one of the most difficult things a person has to go through in his life. Living in denial is bad. Worse than that is trying to get over the death. You don't get over someone dying. Instead, you learn to live with it. You embrace it and you let the happy memories of that loved one heal you. The moment when you can think of those who went away and smile at the kindling of a fond memory about them is when you know all is going to be well after all. Its been 7 days and Papa's memory makes mum and me smile more than it makes us weak. He gives us strength to carry on. 

P.S.

Papa, 

I hope there is internet connectivity and a constant supply of mangoes and pizzas where you are. I will look after mum, don't worry. You just make sure I don't do anything stupid, I know you will point me into the right way when need be. Needless to say, I miss you. A lot. I love you so much.

Potterhead. Always.

It is my undying love for J.K.Rowling's extravaganza, Harry Potter that I am not able to get over the franchise even years after it ended spectacularly. The books changed my life in a million ways. It is not just a story of Harry's final victory over Voldemort, it is in fact a tale of bravery, love, friendship, sacrifice, pride and innocence. Each character displays a certain depth and they end up teaching us a lot more than we take from what is just plainly written.

Album Dumbledore taught us that one can always leave their past behind and change for the better. That greatness is derived from the love people have for you and not by exerting power, which he shows by consistently declining the post of the Minister of Magic. 

Severus Snape taught us that love is timeless and unconditional. That once you love someone dearly, you will stand by that. ALWAYS.

Rubeus Hagrid taught us that wild was good. That if you wanted to pet a dragon and raise a three headed dog, it was just as normal as wanting to drink pumpkin juice. He taught us that not everything that looks ferocious is dangerous, 

Luna Lovegood taught us that being weird is cool. That believing in things no one else believes in is possible, if only you believe in your version of things no matter how crazy.

Draco Malfoy taught us what it is to be pushed into wrongdoing against your own will. That living with bad company, need not make you a monster. There might still be hope. 

Bellatrix Lestrange taught us that obsession was a dangerous thing. That obsessing over something or someone was going to get you nowhere except for being dead.

Neville Longbottom taught us that being an under achiever usually ends up winning crucial battles. That dealing with a past that involves parents that no longer remembered him and a grandmother who expects too much from him did not pull him down. 

Ginny Weasly taught us to be tough. That being a girl was not just gossips and giggling and making sparks fly from the wand, it is about casting perfect bat bogey hexes and being an amazing Quidditch beater.

Fred and George Weasly taught us to be jesters. That to laugh and to make people laugh was indeed the best medicine. 

We miss you Fred! :'(

Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin taught us that we always find love when we are not looking for it. That standing together to face death was the most important thing than having to let go for each other's safety. 

Hermione Granger taught us that it was okay to be the know-it-all. That pouring over books and being the one who always answers questions, no matter how crazy they are, comes in handy to handle the deadliest of situations.

Ron Weasly taught us that it was more important to be a friend than being that guy who always lives in the shadow of a celebrity. That ginger people are the ones adorned with the best sarcastic humour. 

Harry Potter taught us that bravery and selflessness are the traits of a hero. That losing your loved ones should not let you lose sight of your bidding. 

Voldemort taught us that power corrupts. That if a person knows no love, he knows no magic. 

and

J.K.Rowling taught us that a string of rejections and downsides in life cannot tear you apart. That pulling yourself together and believing in your stories is more important than anything else. Because 'No story lives unless someone wants to listen to them'

Let me know if there are other characters from the series that have taught you something, or if these characters have inspired you in a significant way.